"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

I'm losin it man

wipz

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2003
Messages
16
Reaction score
0
Age
41
I've been around here for quite some time now but never really felt the need to post anything, but now I ran into a bit of a problem. I'm in this sort of slump... Its been goin on for close to a month. I don't know how to describe it really. I've had all the confidence in the world, walkin around like I have 30 girls waitin for me at home.. I never really had any troubles meeting girls in the past two years since I stumbled upon this lovely place.

Well now when I'm talkin to a new lady friend I haven't been doin things right. It's mainly w/ my conversing. I've been hesitating to say things and when I do it's usually something stupid. I've been having trouble getting a good coversation started and when I do, again, it's something stupid like a damn afc starter. Even when I do have some good smart ass thing to say I'll completely screw up the timing or say it in the wrong tone.

Hell Ive been rereading practically everything here and still am running into the same damn problems. If anyone could help me out here and give me some advice or find a good thread already dealing w/ this it would kick ass.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

KiInCollege

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
Messages
424
Reaction score
3
Location
USA, Graduated Already - old screen name!
It sounds like you've read enough, but don't have enough practice. The details you complained about hint that you don't have practice or get uncomfortable when talking. If you ever say anything that comes out awkward, that's a display of insecurity, not confidence.

Just keep honing your convo skills. Consider a public speaking course if you're in school.
 

wipz

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2003
Messages
16
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Naw man I have enough practice. I've been meeting close to a dozen new girls a month for the past two years. It might be a little insecurity but its like some major bs thing occured recently... only thing i would be getting more insecure and less confident is because im not my usual self. Its frusterating too man cause I dont know what the hell to do... it also may have gotten me to try too hard. I gave it a few days rest last week too and that didnt seem to do too much.
 
Joined
Nov 6, 2003
Messages
4,280
Reaction score
8
Location
Wisconsin. USA
You are not a 'talker' and you are trying to force convo!! Some guys don't have the convo skills to keep a woman interested. There is nothing an internet site can do to resolve this!! Be yourself and quit trying to impress!
 

So Many Ways

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2004
Messages
791
Reaction score
2
Location
www.blackmenvent.com
I feel you.

At the beginning of the year, I got off to a good start and met a few women. Lately it seems to have gotten a little more difficult and it seems like I have to work a lot harder just to get a nibble. I don't know why it happens. Sometimes it's really easy and sometimes nothing happens for weeks on end. I haven't gotten as much as a phone number in 3 weeks.

It's annoying but like what was said earlier it just means more practice.

Question to PuertoRican_Lover: How do you improve convo skills? I've gotten a lot better at the body language aspect, but I have the same trouble when it comes to conversation. Even though I've approached tons of women, the conversation doesn't always seem natural. How can one get past this?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

wipz

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2003
Messages
16
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Thats where im gettin at man. Im trying too hard, Im not bein myself. Hell Ive got the skills but recently man things havent been goin so smoothly.
 
Top