I could use some serious help... Been a while since I've been on this site and I'm currently having some major problems. I've been going through a quarter life crisis for some time now and to add to this issue I've never been laid... or at least not yet. I already feel like I missed out on so much. I'm beginning to feel like a such hopeless case and on the verge of giving up. Women just seem so impossible and out of reach. I'm beginning to think I just don't have what it takes and always considered myself unworthy of it. I want sex really bad and I have no connections to women at all. I barely have any friends and none of them are female. When I try to make a female friend they automatically assume I'm out to get in their pants even when I'm not. I've tried talking to girls online to hook up and exhausted all the posibilites. In fact it made me hate the internet. I wanted to join a local lair and they expect you to do some cold approaches and I'm unable to get through that due to extreme fear and anxiety. I really don't know where to begin anymore... my self esteem hit rock bottom and it's been that way for nearly a year now. In fact I'm depressed. I really want to make a change in my life but I don't know where to begin. Sometimes I just feel like paying a hooker to get it over with.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I'm like totally confused and ****ed up in the head. C
- Thread starter C-quenced
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Next time you catch yourself thinking like this, stop it. Thinking negatively will only bring you down more.C-quenced said:
Don't try to make friends with them, you need to come off as lover material from the start.
You need to disarm them at the start. Start talking about something. Ask them questions. Don't hide your sexuality, and don't be awkward about it like most other guys.
Slow steps. Doing the DJ Boot Camp would help you.
Basically, go out and say hi to everyone you walk past. Do that 70 or so times over the week. Then start conversations with women, attractive and otherwise, old and young.
How to do that? Comment on something. Is she carrying 2 dozen bananas? Make a funny comment on them, and ask her. If you don't know what to say, just ask for her opinion on something sincere.
That builds confidence. Practice will make you perfect.
No cheating.
It won't help you at all.
hey man, it sounddsl ike you just need some more practice. look on the bright side: at least you arent getting put into the friend zone, so you must be giving off some sort of sexual vibe. eventually a girl will like it and reciprocate. ilike the other posters said, try to spur up some convos on the street or take up a new hobby
Next time you catch yourself thinking like this, stop it. Thinking negatively will only bring you down more.
I'm really bad at controlling my thoughts and/or stopping them. I tried meditation and it seems to help some in many parts of life. I guess I just need to work on it a little bit more.
Don't try to make friends with them, you need to come off as lover material from the start.
You need to disarm them at the start. Start talking about something. Ask them questions. Don't hide your sexuality, and don't be awkward about it like most other guys.
Something I need to work on. I have no confidence in myself at all. I think so lowly of myself.
Slow steps. Doing the DJ Boot Camp would help you.
Basically, go out and say hi to everyone you walk past. Do that 70 or so times over the week. Then start conversations with women, attractive and otherwise, old and young.
How to do that? Comment on something. Is she carrying 2 dozen bananas? Make a funny comment on them, and ask her. If you don't know what to say, just ask for her opinion on something sincere.
That builds confidence. Practice will make you perfect.
I'll work on it. Sometimes when I try to be friendly to people I feel like I give off wierd vibes.
No cheating.
It won't help you at all.
Speaking of hookers I picked one up tonight and nearly got myself robbed/killed. She had me pull into a dark gated motel with these like 10 f*cking goons and the second I saw them I just reversed my car the hell out of there. She looked surprised and asked where we were going? According to her the motel was where she lived. I talked her into believe that I needed to get to the ATM machine and eventually told her I was trying to look out for the two of us. She played it off like those guys were a bunch of nobodies and made fun of the way I pulled out of there but I can sense deciet. The more I kept trying to avoid that place the more pissed off she became. Eventually she said we'll go somewhere else but she needed 60 bucks to pay her rent... she said those guys don't stay there very long so we went back (very stupid of me). I told her ok.... then go pay your rent and lets leave, and then she said she needed the money first. I told her no and she's gotten even more pissed and left. That was the end of it. I wasn't trying to start trouble with anyone. I wish I had the chance of day to grab those thugs by their nasty dreadlocks and beating them half way to death with my fists. But damn getting some action is DIFFICULT. Feels impossible. Too bad the hooker was pretty hot too.
hey man, it sounddsl ike you just need some more practice. look on the bright side: at least you arent getting put into the friend zone, so you must be giving off some sort of sexual vibe. eventually a girl will like it and reciprocate. ilike the other posters said, try to spur up some convos on the street or take up a new hobby
I though about that but then I thought maybe it was just my ego trying to keep me from the harsh reality of things.
I'm really bad at controlling my thoughts and/or stopping them. I tried meditation and it seems to help some in many parts of life. I guess I just need to work on it a little bit more.
Don't try to make friends with them, you need to come off as lover material from the start.
You need to disarm them at the start. Start talking about something. Ask them questions. Don't hide your sexuality, and don't be awkward about it like most other guys.
Something I need to work on. I have no confidence in myself at all. I think so lowly of myself.
Slow steps. Doing the DJ Boot Camp would help you.
Basically, go out and say hi to everyone you walk past. Do that 70 or so times over the week. Then start conversations with women, attractive and otherwise, old and young.
How to do that? Comment on something. Is she carrying 2 dozen bananas? Make a funny comment on them, and ask her. If you don't know what to say, just ask for her opinion on something sincere.
That builds confidence. Practice will make you perfect.
I'll work on it. Sometimes when I try to be friendly to people I feel like I give off wierd vibes.
No cheating.
It won't help you at all.
Speaking of hookers I picked one up tonight and nearly got myself robbed/killed. She had me pull into a dark gated motel with these like 10 f*cking goons and the second I saw them I just reversed my car the hell out of there. She looked surprised and asked where we were going? According to her the motel was where she lived. I talked her into believe that I needed to get to the ATM machine and eventually told her I was trying to look out for the two of us. She played it off like those guys were a bunch of nobodies and made fun of the way I pulled out of there but I can sense deciet. The more I kept trying to avoid that place the more pissed off she became. Eventually she said we'll go somewhere else but she needed 60 bucks to pay her rent... she said those guys don't stay there very long so we went back (very stupid of me). I told her ok.... then go pay your rent and lets leave, and then she said she needed the money first. I told her no and she's gotten even more pissed and left. That was the end of it. I wasn't trying to start trouble with anyone. I wish I had the chance of day to grab those thugs by their nasty dreadlocks and beating them half way to death with my fists. But damn getting some action is DIFFICULT. Feels impossible. Too bad the hooker was pretty hot too.
hey man, it sounddsl ike you just need some more practice. look on the bright side: at least you arent getting put into the friend zone, so you must be giving off some sort of sexual vibe. eventually a girl will like it and reciprocate. ilike the other posters said, try to spur up some convos on the street or take up a new hobby
I though about that but then I thought maybe it was just my ego trying to keep me from the harsh reality of things.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
omkara
Senior Don Juan
no way dude... it will help you to get your mind off of girls and find contentment without them, both of which will make you more attractive to them. Girls are like cats. As soon as you try to sit down and concentrate on something other than them, they want to try to get in between you and what you're concentrating on to distract you.C-quenced said:
I'm not really qualified to give advice, but it's been said many times around here and focusing on developing my own life apart from girls has helped me to not care about them, which has made them more attracted to me.