"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

I'm in... so far. tricky situation - thoughts?

Deadly_Ripped

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2003
Messages
621
Reaction score
26
Hey guys,

Met HB8 through my roommate. He was into her, but she wasn't into him (I could tell within 5 min of meeting them that this was the case and he'd never get it).

I kept the snake in the pants until he conceeded that it probably wasn't going to happen (about 2 months) and only saw this girl once between the first meeting and his concession. He kept me away from her and he even refused to invite me to her lake house during this time.

I went over to her place (lives with 3 guys and is single) for a party. I made a big splash at the party and really enjoyed myself. After some witty banter I sleep in her bed (no sex by both of our agreements, but let's just say that the night went very well for both of us).

Next morning we play it cool, that afternoon act like we barely know each other at a party at my place since the roommate is there.

She said a few things that bother me. Once was, once we went to bed, she kept talking about how she was going to get a reputation as a slut in her circle of friends. The next was that the next morning she said that we shouldn't do anything because it would ruin it, which confused me twice as much because I WASN'T EVEN TRYING ANYTHING. She threw it out there like she knew that I'd try something.

She was extremely complementary about my body and my skillz, to the point of annoyance. At the same time she kept telling me how much of a nerd she thought I was before this night and especially before we 'went to sleep.' She made a point to say how much fun the previous night was before we left her room.

Now she calls me last night (3 days later, and I hadn't contacted her at all). I missed it, and called her back today. She tells me that she was extremely drunk when she called, and apologized for calling me at all. Then she tells me that we've got to play scrabble (she and I went back and forth about our scrabble skills prior to all of this) some time.

I suggest this weekend, she tells me Sunday works. This game of scrabble will be played by me, her, and one of her male roommates (maybe 2). Here's where the peanut gallery comes in:

This is tricky because I have been in this situation where I hook up once, fall for the girl, and she holds it over my head and teases me for months. She is in a circle of friends that I just got introduced to, and I really want to chill with these people. I think that I'd rather crash and burn that be placed reluctantly into the friend zone. I DO NOT WANT TO END UP IN THE FRIEND ZONE, so here's what I'm thinking:

Cancel on this weekend, because it's ****ing scrabble and **** that ****.... I don't want to play scrabble, I want to play her tonsils. The thing is that I really do want to play scrabble though, but I extra moreso don't want to start doing platonic stuff with her. She and her male roommates do **** like that.... that's not how I want to be perceived.

Maybe I could switch the time and invite her out? I think it's too soon for that though. She knows how good looking she is, and is clearly not hell bent on finding a man to tie down, so she might not be welcome to a 1 on 1 thing just yet.

Thoughts? Comments? Much obliged if you actually read this far.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

horaholic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
2,254
Reaction score
79
just because you are going over there to play scrabble, doenst mean you have to. PU gurus always say not to worry about what they THINK you will be doing. Show up at her house for your scrabble game, then say, "I got a better idea, how about me and you go do such and such..." Either that, or have an isolation plan for when the game is done. After the game, go to a movie or something.

OR...have a bet on the game. Winner gets a backrub, or something. (between you two only, obviously)

Thats not really a tricky situation to me. You wont be friendzoned unless you act like an AFC
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
1,652
Reaction score
20
Location
CAN-NUH-DUH
All the crap she was spewing is just her way of trying to keep you from thinking less of her for getting physical so early.

If you dig her, and by the sounds of it she obviously is into you, then just go with it and have fun.

She wants to see you again, so consider yourself in.... for now.

Just keep doing what you're doing and enjoy the ride for as long as it goes.
 

Deadly_Ripped

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2003
Messages
621
Reaction score
26
I tend to act two different ways around women: there are women I **** and women I don't. Around the women I don't, I'm very cereberal and argumentative and goofy. Around women I ****, I'm light spirited, witty, and mysterious.

To put it short, I'm not sure I can play scrabble with someone without getting all nerdy on her.
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,233
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
You know, you do yourself a disservice by purposely not acting like a DJ in front of chicks you don't want to bang.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Deadly_Ripped

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2003
Messages
621
Reaction score
26
It's quite the other way around. It's not that I intentionally don't act like a DJ, it's that I have to intentionally act like a DJ in front of particular women. I control the situation more, I am not as loud or obnoxious, I don't argue as much, and I definitely don't say the kinds of really stupid goofy **** that normally spews from my mouth. I'm a fairly annoying person (or so I've been told by several people).

It didn't come naturally, which is why I'm on this site in the first place. I act differently around my friends than I do with women I'm in a relatinoship with, and I act much differently at work.

BTW opinions on facebooking this girl? It would show social proof due to my friends and pictures of me having a great time, but I think of facebook more as something for people I know really well.
 
Top