"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I'm having a wobble

Columbia

Don Juan
Joined
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When I first joined this website 8 years ago I was 15 years old, hadn't kissed a girl or even had one like me. I was going nowhere in life, and perhaps most damagingly of all didn't realise I was going nowhere in life.

I've spent the last 7 years going from one relationship to the next, and in that time I've also gone to university and left with a fairly prestigious master's degree. I am physically attractive to women, I'm interesting to talk to, and I know (or knew!) how to act around them.

Two weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of 3.5 years because we have different ideas about how we're spending the next 5-10 years. A factor in my decision was that I figured she would be easily replaced, and even after I broke up with her she herself cried and said "well you'll be fine, obviously! But what about me!?".

And I'm telling you, today, in this one day, I reverted 8 years. A girl rejected me today, and I stewed over it. I kept up the confident exterior, but I kept thinking and thinking about it, for hours. Then I went home and sent her a message on Facebook. I don't know what was going through my head.

I suddenly felt I needed reassurance, so I messaged two exes on Facebook...

If I get replies to any of them, they'll be purely out of politeness.

Now I'm sitting here wondering if I've done serious damage to my life, where 24 hours ago I sat here happy in the knowledge that I was in control of everything before me.

I don't know what I expect anyone to say, but this place helped me out of a dark corner once, and so I turn here again.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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IamJosan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
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Keep your head up and get back into the game. Women aren't everything!
 
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