Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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I'm having a wobble

Columbia

Don Juan
Joined
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When I first joined this website 8 years ago I was 15 years old, hadn't kissed a girl or even had one like me. I was going nowhere in life, and perhaps most damagingly of all didn't realise I was going nowhere in life.

I've spent the last 7 years going from one relationship to the next, and in that time I've also gone to university and left with a fairly prestigious master's degree. I am physically attractive to women, I'm interesting to talk to, and I know (or knew!) how to act around them.

Two weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of 3.5 years because we have different ideas about how we're spending the next 5-10 years. A factor in my decision was that I figured she would be easily replaced, and even after I broke up with her she herself cried and said "well you'll be fine, obviously! But what about me!?".

And I'm telling you, today, in this one day, I reverted 8 years. A girl rejected me today, and I stewed over it. I kept up the confident exterior, but I kept thinking and thinking about it, for hours. Then I went home and sent her a message on Facebook. I don't know what was going through my head.

I suddenly felt I needed reassurance, so I messaged two exes on Facebook...

If I get replies to any of them, they'll be purely out of politeness.

Now I'm sitting here wondering if I've done serious damage to my life, where 24 hours ago I sat here happy in the knowledge that I was in control of everything before me.

I don't know what I expect anyone to say, but this place helped me out of a dark corner once, and so I turn here again.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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IamJosan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
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Keep your head up and get back into the game. Women aren't everything!
 
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