I'm gonna be a dad

Murk

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And I couldn't be happier.

Test read 2-3 weeks pregnant.

I always thought I would be stressed and anxious (I get anxious the day before a business meeting) but I'm the most excited and happy I've ever been in my life.

I have only told my best friend who has 2 kids (my godchildren), I've spent so much time with them, they've given me so much joy and peace... I get to have that all for myself! I have no inclination to tell anyone else yet, except you faceless people who have put up with my ramblings for the past 7 years.

I just want to share it with you guys, yes still early days, good woman, good family, I'm stable. It feels like fate. I'd recently been dreaming about having a kid so I feel the Most High YHWH has blessed me.

Any advice from the fathers here?
 
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Murk

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Happy for you, Murk! You’d be one of the last posters I could imagine being a father :D
You’d make a great one for sure!
This past 2 years I’ve felt the man bursting out of me. I’ve never been as much as a man than I am now. Father and leader are literally bleeding out of me bro, seeping out of my pores haha. I have banked 2 years high salary, pipeline of good business for the rest of the year, own house, own business, no debt, in the best shape of my life, free of all addictions. I’m so ready for this. I honestly didn’t have a reason for living if I don’t have kids. I want at least 4-5. My parents would surely be proud but I’m too old to not have a purpose. Money means nothing if I don’t have someone to use it for.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Welcome to the Cult!

It is simultaneously the most impressive and bewildering thing any man can do (not conceive but help raise them). I loved repeatedly reliving the wonderment of first discoveries and appreciating the natural world's magic with both my babies.

They're now in their 20s, and I'm still in awe of them and the wonderful people they've grown up to be. You'll be amazed by your capacity to love another human when you meet your newborn for the first time.

I thought I knew the meaning of love before having children, but I was wrong - it's unfathomable for those who've not fathered their children.
 

Travel memoir21

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Welcome to the Cult!

It is simultaneously the most impressive and bewildering thing any man can do (not conceive but help raise them). I loved repeatedly reliving the wonderment of first discoveries and appreciating the natural world's magic with both my babies.

They're now in their 20s, and I'm still in awe of them and the wonderful people they've grown up to be. You'll be amazed by your capacity to love another human when you meet your newborn for the first time.

I thought I knew the meaning of love before having children, but I was wrong - it's unfathomable for those who've not fathered their children.

If you met the woman of your dreams….who would you love more? Her or The kids?
 

Pierce Manhammer

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If you met the woman of your dreams….who would you love more? Her or The kids?
Kids, hands down. The reason is your love for your kids is unconditional; your love for your woman is conditional. You will always love your kids no matter what; that is not true with a woman.
 

Murk

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I thought I knew the meaning of love before having children, but I was wrong - it's unfathomable for those who've not fathered their children.
This is what excites me the most! Especially since losing my parents and being an only child. I will pour myself into my kids.
 

pipeman84

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Kids, hands down. The reason is your love for your kids is unconditional; your love for your woman is conditional. You will always love your kids no matter what; that is not true with a woman.
I'm having a hard time understanding how both statements unconditional love and actions have consequences can work at the same time.
So if the woman cheats or behaves in some other ways that are unacceptable, there are of course consequences, but if the girl becomes a hoe or a nose ring wearing, blue haired crazy feminist and the boy an alcoholic/drug addict there are no consequences because the love for them is unconditional? How does that work?
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I'm having a hard time understanding how both statements unconditional love and actions have consequences can work at the same time.
So if the woman cheats or behaves in some other ways that are unacceptable, there are of course consequences, but if the girl becomes a hoe or a nose ring wearing, blue haired crazy feminist and the boy an alcoholic/drug addict there are no consequences because the love for them is unconditional? How does that work?
Do you have children?
 

pipeman84

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Do you have children?
No.
That's one thing I'm wondering ... what I would do in such situations. Although I believe that if I had children, those scenarios are very unlikely to happen because they are mostly due to bad parenting, one never knows what can happen.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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The way I see it: if my child became something I did not approve of I’d be upset, but I wouldn’t stop loving him/her.

If my woman became something I didn’t like I’d leave her and find a new partner. Blood is thicker than water.
 

Ricky

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Congrats Murk. It is great.
 

Murk

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I'm having a hard time understanding how both statements unconditional love and actions have consequences can work at the same time.
So if the woman cheats or behaves in some other ways that are unacceptable, there are of course consequences, but if the girl becomes a hoe or a nose ring wearing, blue haired crazy feminist and the boy an alcoholic/drug addict there are no consequences because the love for them is unconditional? How does that work?
Unconditional love supersedes a persons actions, that’s what unconditional means, there are no conditions to that love. Reserved for kids only imo.
 

BaronOfHair

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And I couldn't be happier.

Test read 2-3 weeks pregnant.

I always thought I would be stressed and anxious (I get anxious the day before a business meeting) but I'm the most excited and happy I've ever been in my life.

I have only told my best friend who has 2 kids (my godchildren), I've spent so much time with them, they've given me so much joy and peace... I get to have that all for myself! I have no inclination to tell anyone else yet, except you faceless people who have put up with my ramblings for the past 7 years.

I just want to share it with you guys, yes still early days, good woman, good family, I'm stable. It feels like fate. I'd recently been dreaming about having a kid so I feel the Most High YHWH has blessed me.

Any advice from the fathers here?
Congrats, Murk!!! Though I'm not a father, I urge you to re-read as many of the books on recommended reading list here at SS, before your child comes along, ESPECIALLY if it ends up being a boy. Impart to your son all the things we learned much later in life, thanks to either not having solid fathers around, or the dude who was around being a schlep
 
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If you met the woman of your dreams….who would you love more? Her or The kids?
My kids, definitely. I divorced their mother, not them.

Congrats, @Murk . The next 10 years you won't be able to sleep in, but you'll find it will be worth the sacrifice. :cool:
 

Murk

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Congrats, Murk!!! Though I'm not a father, I urge you to re-read as many of the books on recommended reading list here at SS, before your child comes along, ESPECIALLY if it ends up being a boy. Impart to your son all the things we learned much later in life, thanks to either not having solid fathers around, or the dude who was around being a schlep
For a boy I'm set, I know what it takes to be a man.

For a girl I'm a little more lost, I booked marked this book; https://www.amazon.co.uk/Be-Dad-She...7382b93afe48983903be2&th=1&psc=1&gad_source=1

Rich Cooper recommended it years ago and I figured if I ever have a girl I'll give it a read.
 
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For a girl I'm a little more lost
If you work from the heart and not the ego, you will be fine.
In my opinion, your duty is to help prepare your children for a life independent from their parents. If you keep that at the forefront of your mind, you'll be able to make decisions concerning their well-being with integrity.
 

Murk

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If you work from the heart and not the ego, you will be fine.
In my opinion, your duty is to help prepare your children for a life independent from their parents. If you keep that at the forefront of your mind, you'll be able to make decisions concerning their well-being with integrity.
100%!

I lost both parents young and everyone around me was very surprised how well I handled it. They thought I would crumble or go off the rails (I did to some extent). My parents didn’t even know at the time but they raised a very resilient young man. I’ve felt lost at times, we all have, but I made it through.

Many have been through hell, 10 times worse than what I have, I’ve experienced abuse of all kinds as a child. The human mind is an incredible thing, very resilient. It can be a gift and a curse, you need to be on the right side. From your many posts I know you know what I mean.
 
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From your many posts I know you know what I mean.
Adversity shapes your character. Like I told my son, "I may not always know what to do, but I always know what not to do."
 
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