I'm going to make it. My story.

[LearningSlowly]

Yeaahhhh! I like that. Be nice, almost thank them for what they did, because if they hadn't I wouldn't be me. Their own anger reflects onto themselves, instead of leaking onto me.

 

[LearningSlowly]

YES! YES! WOOOOO!! Grace messaged me back and I killed it! LETS GO!!!! Posting the whole conversation.

Me: Hi! Youre cute, lets hang out? (on saturday)
Her: If I was single I would say yes, but I have a boyfriend (today, Tuesday)
Me: Oh yeah all girls worth having have boyfriends, I dont mind.
Me: Im gonna get my first date someday, it'll happen
Her: you're great, girls would be lucky to be with you
Me: Aw! That was nice. Putting that one in my "Reasons to date Grace [last]" list.
Her: hahaha, for real though. I glad we met
Me: Look at you, acting like its over!
Me: Get your head in the game
Her: haha, we'll deff see each other again. are you going to suzi's for new years?
Me: Nah my friend maddie is throwing something.
Her: oh okay, well some other party then
Me: Hows this though? I'll come down that way the next day, we'll have lunch. Then you get to tell me all about how you have a boyfriend in person (sent within a few seconds of the last 2)
Her: Wish I could but I can't, I'm not sure one on one is the best idea haha (7 minutes later)
Me: What??? I dont even know where your head is at. I'm completely on friend zone mode right now.
Me: Do I need to find myself a girlfriend so that youre allowed to see me?
Her: haha, no, I'm in a healthy relationship without any jealousy issues, so it actually would be fine for us to hang out
Me: Awesome lunch, jan 1
Me: track my number down, ill see you then
Her: sounds great!

YEAHHHHH. Got the date, even though she had a boyfriend, maintained sexuality. I'm a boss, this'll be good.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sarYH0z948

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEZo84KNxKs

OKAY

 

[LearningSlowly]

So apparently I can only post 10 messages a day. I'll have to keep that in mind. I tried to post earlier and couldn't, so hopefully I'm past that point now.

Grace isn't looking as cute to me on fb, and she looks SO much like my ex (it's uncanny). Still, probably just second guessing, I'm just going to leave those thoughts alone.

In that excitement last night I didn't report on a little event I went to. Went to a friend's house (the one who DJ's) with him, another guy and two girls. One girl, my friend, was setting her friend up with the DJ (wish this wasn't such a commonly used acronym around here). He took FOREVER to close though, for real. Had a long opportunity. I sat there and knew I could have done better. Still, put my resentment aside and left the room to wing him. He was only able to make out for the last ten minutes of a 2 hour window.

Got invited to a party tonight. It's the birthday of the friend who freestyled on Thursday. He's a cool dude, but I wouldn't have been invited except that I saw him then. Goes to show that being cool and friendly will work your social life out for you, you don't need to even worry about it. Expect a report tomorrow.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Guys, I'm way better at this than I've realized. Last night I showed off all these social skills that I didn't know I had.

Going through the night, touching on highlights.

Started with the ride there. I play harmonica in the car on the way to parties. I've tried rapping, playing music, riding in silence, but harmonica is the only way to keep my mind quiet so it doesn't ask "What's going to happen?" over and over.

Get there. It's a house, rented by two guys, friends of Cam, whose birthday it was. I come in, immediately introduce myself to everyone I see. If you don't do this, this is absolutely something you should change immediately. Meet everyone as soon as you see them. If you can't say "Hi, I'm Josh" to a guy, you can't say it to a girl.

See some of my people. Most of the same ones who were there on Thursday. A lot of them hang out the whole night as part of one 5 or 6 person group, my friends Sean and Derek mingle with new and old friends alike. I also see some old friends, including some people I have a lot of respect for.

Lost a game of pong. Made a redemption shot that saved us from losing once, so nbd. Two girls came in while I was playing. Both blonde, one skinnier than the other. The skinnier one, Madison, had some style, but when I introduced myself she seemed uninterested in meeting me. The bigger girl was named Megan. Very sweet girl. They were my undoing, in the end.

Other people of note. Kazi. I knew him already, you'll probably never see him in another post. But this guy, an apprentice tattoo artist who has done beautiful work in many mediums, knows the truth. He knows about being in the present, he knows about humility, the divine path of every person, all these things. It's enlightening to talk to him.

Cam. It was his birthday, but he has a flair for the dramatic. It was his birthday, so he made a toast with champagne, which ended up being kinda ****ty, after some hype. Apparently he had been talking about it for a couple weeks. I rapped with him, and this other kid. I didn't know the other guy, but he was sick with it. I messed up pretty badly my first round, by the third I was on.

Mitchell. Wouldn't put him here except for a couple points. He was playing with rave gloves the whole night. Wasn't the right vibe for it, really. Madison took them to play with occasionally, but otherwise all it did was provoke the pitbull in the house, Chance. But he did sell me a powder whose encoded name is NENB. Pull a quick number-shift cypher and you'll figure that one out. It wasn't much, but it should make my New Years a little better.

Nick from Thursday was there. I liked him at that party, he was completely unimpressive here. Just goes to show that people have their nights.

There's no one else really important. One guy was a good breakdancer. But there were plenty more guys. Lots and lots more guys. In fact there were 5 or 6 girls that I didn't know, compared to 20-25 guys. I stood out fantastically, and that is why I'll matter.

But let's move on to females.

So when I was sitting in a circle with Megan and Madison, and many guys, I was getting ioi's from Megan. I had to decide, do I go for the hotter girl? Or the one showing interest? I thought about it, said, "I've wimped out in the past with hotter girls. I'm gonna get a close with the one I choose tonight, I'll go hotter next time." So I pick Megan early on. This ended up being the mistake that left me alone that night.

I'll come back to that, the most interesting story of the night, but before that I'll talk about my other choices. I'm trying to come up with this girl's name, I know it isn't Jordan, cause I thought it was Jordan last night. But anyway, Jordan was this cute Cuban girl. Unfortunately she was already paired up with Cam's best friend. I flirted anyway. We had a really good conversation on hispanic heritage and proper respect for it. You can have this conversation with any latina girl. They LOVE to talk about it. I got plenty of glances from her, especially when she kissed that guy, she looked back at me to see if I saw it. I commented about it, of course.

There was another girl named Allison, not really worth talking about. She wasn't a good conversationalist, wasn't attractive, and I tried to cold read her as Jewish and it failed. Not crash and burn style, but no interest.

Last one, I don't remember her name. She was visiting from Mississippi I think. Now the problem-moment with her came when I was with her and her friends in the kitchen. She asked me if I knew anyone at the party, sort of skeptically, like I was crashing. Definitely a sh*t test. I know now that I should have ignored it, instead I offer to take her around and show her who I know. She refused, but a guy behind her said he would take me up on it. In the moment I said yes, and walked out. Then I hear laughing coming from the kitchen. The guy wasn't coming, and he made a joke about getting me out of the room. I yell "**** you!" then go around the party and joke happily about it. It was a ****ty moment, but ended up doing nothing to my night.

Went with some guys to ihop. At first we thought a whole crew was going, then turns out they're headed to steak and shake. I call Cam to see what was going on, he spouts some ****, then says that they aren't going there, they're back at the house. I say **** it, let's follow them. We end up at steak and shake, they get out of the car. Megan and Madison are not with them. I say **** it again, they're *******s, lets go to ihop. So we do, get food to go, and come back to the house. Wasn't a shining moment for me, but whatever. I stayed calm and carried on.

So here's the Megan and Madison story. Madison seems to like having a back-up friend. Megan's job, and probably the reason why she tags along with Madison to parties, is to make her feel good. The way that made me feel is two-fold. Madison seemed egoic and needy, Megan seemed caring and nurturing.
Unfortunately, despite being hot, NO ONE HIT ON MADISON.

What?? I took Megan so that I wouldn't need to deal with competition, not so that people could avoid the hotter girl.

The problem became, I was making too many waves to have chosen Megan, in Madison's point of view. My problem early on was not being definitive in my statements. I would say "Yeah come downstairs" then start heading out with a hand signal. No eye contact, it was weak, obviously failed. I fixed that mistake, and fixed others. My goal was to let Megan know, quietly and discreetly, that I was into her. I ended up sitting on a couch with Megan, watching pong and chatting. I could tell she was nervous, excited, aroused. Then Madison comes along. All of a sudden Megan is a little anxious. She's trying to come up with a way for Madison to not be bored. There wasn't really any way to fix the boredom, but Megan, the sweet girl that she is, tried.

So the night progresses, things happen. It comes down to a few guys in the living room, I lose a game of NCAA football, but barely. Megan is asleep in the chair. I wake her up, saying "This isn't good for your back. I'm looking out for you." She smiles, we flirt for a sec, I tell her that I want to gossip about Madison, that I got vibes off of her. I get myself set up on a broken pull-out couch, she's bugging me to tell her about my vibes. Once I'm laying down with a blanket and pillow, I say, "Well, I don't like to use the word arrogant..." She looks at me with a really shocked smile. I follow that track, and she denies every word. It makes me wonder if she consciously sucks up to Madison or not. Could go either way. Megan goes upstairs.

I got a better bed alone upstairs. Megan and Madison are talking to someone on the phone. I heard mention of Madison's boyfriend through the night, could have been him. Nothing happens that night. It's interesting that I was c*ckblocked by the hotter girl. Megan felt so driven to make sure that Madison wasn't alone, that I lost her, even though she was attracted.

I pull myself out of bed at 9 am this morning, feeling kinda rough. Megan and Madison were in bed across the hall. I decided I wanted to say something to Megan before leaving. Thought about having her write her name on my hand, so I could find her on fb. Went downstairs, found a pen. Then somehow didn't have it, I changed my plan to sneaking in, a kiss on her cheek quietly then heading out. I had a second of AA, but I said, just go in, see what happens. Went in, Megan wakes up, sees me, smiles and says Hi immediately. Definitely woke Madison up. I go up, tell them that I want to hang out again, that I need their names so I can find them. Sit on the bed next to Megan, have her type names into my phone. I ask them how their night went, and redirect the question to Madison specifically. She answered nicely, I got my phone back and went on my way.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Number shift cipher? I'm lost.

 

[asianbboy]

YES! YES! WOOOOO!! Grace messaged me back and I killed it! LETS GO!!!! Posting the whole conversation.

Me: Hi! Youre cute, lets hang out? (on saturday)
Her: If I was single I would say yes, but I have a boyfriend (today, Tuesday)
Me: Oh yeah all girls worth having have boyfriends, I dont mind.
Me: Im gonna get my first date someday, it'll happen
Her: you're great, girls would be lucky to be with you
Me: Aw! That was nice. Putting that one in my "Reasons to date Grace [last]" list.
Her: hahaha, for real though. I glad we met
Me: Look at you, acting like its over!
Me: Get your head in the game
Her: haha, we'll deff see each other again. are you going to suzi's for new years?
Me: Nah my friend maddie is throwing something.
Her: oh okay, well some other party then
Me: Hows this though? I'll come down that way the next day, we'll have lunch. Then you get to tell me all about how you have a boyfriend in person (sent within a few seconds of the last 2)
Her: Wish I could but I can't, I'm not sure one on one is the best idea haha (7 minutes later)
Me: What??? I dont even know where your head is at. I'm completely on friend zone mode right now.
Me: Do I need to find myself a girlfriend so that youre allowed to see me?
Her: haha, no, I'm in a healthy relationship without any jealousy issues, so it actually would be fine for us to hang out
Me: Awesome lunch, jan 1
Me: track my number down, ill see you then
Her: sounds great!

YEAHHHHH. Got the date, even though she had a boyfriend, maintained sexuality. I'm a boss, this'll be good.

i got the same thing going lol. would you ever attempt to kiss close a girl you know has a bf?

 

[LearningSlowly]

Number shift cipher? I'm lost.

Letter shift. My bad. Fvck it, here. http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/mdma/mdma.shtml

bboy, yeah I would. That long term girlfriend I got, we first kissed while both of us were dating people. We had been "fake" kissing, almost getting there then pulling away, for a while. So yeah, I'll kiss this girl, but I hope she doesn't have a boyfriend when I do it.

Messaged Megan, gonna try for a date on friday.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Got the date. Here's the conversation, went kinda well.

Me: Hi! It was great meeting you last night
Her: hey it was nice meeting you too!
Me: Good! I definitely want to see you again, are you free on friday?
Me: Oh and happy birthday! (A couple days ago)
Her: I'm working 5-10
Her: and thank you!
Me: Oh I was actually thinking lunch, but if saying you have work is just how you say no, you should probably call me fat and ugly next time so that you know I got it (Who's gonna say no to that?)
Her: no that's not it at all!! I just wasn't thinking that there's not school. lunch would be really nice
Me: Awesome [dem digits]. Text me so I have yours

 

[Jack Wealthy]

98% of the worlds ecstasy doesn't even contain MDMA, but rather PMA. 0.02% is pure MDMA as of 2005.

That's what yu get when yu study drugs

Try 2-CB. That **** is supposed to be awesome but is impossible to get over here.

Also ****ing nice texting.

 

[LearningSlowly]

I'm talking crystalline MDMA, and I know who Mitchell's source is. It isn't necessarily pure, but I'm positive it's quality.

 

[LearningSlowly]

So had my date with Megan.

Found a cafe that was supposed to have good food. About half the distance between where each of us live. Met her there around 12:30. I had been planning in my head to greet her with a kiss on the cheek, only managed a hug. Went in, ordered, I paid for her. She had been ready to pay for herself, but I told her to just pay a tip. I made a point to be very friendly to the waitress. Megan picked a booth to sit in, I chose to sit on the booth side next to her, instead of a chair across the table. I don't know if that was a good decision or not.

We talked about a lot of things, mostly our mutual friends in different areas around atlanta. Food was pretty good. I talked about improving myself, feeling like I was becoming a cooler person. We both talked about how our social lives had evolved through high school. When the waitress came to clear our plates, I quickly transitioned to sports. She talked about swimming, then I talked about my rowing. As we stood up, I asked "Do you want to see where I used to row? It's 5 minutes from here" (I had this in mind already).

We drove down in my car, I pulled a frisbee out and tossed it to her. She missed, and we only exchanged a couple throws. Then we walked down onto the dock. Looked at boats in the boathouse. I asked her if she could do pull-ups, she looked doubtful. I hugged her. She challenged me to do some. I asked underhand or overhand, she said both. So I did both, transitioning between them without getting off the bar. Hugged her again when I came down.

She walked back toward my car. We started talking about its bumps and bruises. We ended up on the passenger side. I put my arms around her, faces close. It wasn't a perfect, romantic moment, but we had the same thought. I leaned in and kissed her. It was quick, but neither of us was trying to make it long. Then she said she had work, and had to get back. So I drove her back. We said bye, she leaned in for a hug (??), we brushed faces, I made eye contact then kissed her again. She left and I said "I'll see you again soon" and she agreed.

Sooo it worked out, I guess.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

It very rarely is. At all is better than never though.

 

[LearningSlowly]

New Years sucked.

Went in to the party, looking alright. Dressed decently but not prime. Had a bunch of "flowers" I had recently purchased to go with my "candy." Took the latter. Saw lots of rowing people that I'm not associated with anymore. Including my ex. Didn't say a word to her or her boyfriend the whole time, but definitely didn't run from them. Just did whatever I wanted to, they stayed out of the way.

For as long as my ex was there, I was doing pretty well. Talked with people comfortably, naturally. The problem came after she left, maybe because I was burning flowers, and some people get uncomfortable in the face of that smell. Something to consider for the future. There were some value-sucking kids that ended up following me around, because we all like flowers. Tried to get with girls, came across as awkward and creepy. I know I should learn from my failures, but I don't even want to go into them. I tried to talk to people in the face of loud music, didn't work. I tried to dance with one girl, she didn't want to and I was doing it awkwardly.

At one point I decided, "Well, I've been trying too hard or something. This approach isn't working. I'm just going to give up on 'winning', and see what happens to my sociability." This worked okay, but only in that I wasn't bothering people anymore. Really bad failure this night.

Only made one impression that I care about, on a valuable ally from the rowing team named Morgan. Good guitar player, tall, important-seeming guy. May help in the future, but this group is so dead to me. I have other groups that see me as valuable now.

It was hard to be excited about the new year itself. I look at where I am, and it isn't from some high, reflective standpoint. I've barely begun this journey, and now I'm trying to look back on the past year, at progress that hasn't gone that far yet (tonight shows that). Either that or I'm trying to look forward, at a year that will hopefully be good, but I can't afford to make changes to this successful attitude and lifestyle. No resolutions for me, except no mb til Jan 15, and stay the course. Stay humble and hungry, and get better.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

I feel similar. I think new years is just an excuse not to change, like "Oh, I'll make it my New Year ressie!" Then they fail by the end of January and complain life is too hard.

We all have bad nights. I would recommend to just keep pushing, learn everything you can from the good and bad. Eventually you look back and your bad nights in a year may be better than your good nights now.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Grace flaked on our date. I couldn't exchange numbers in time (should have done it immediately). Sent her a facebook message around 11:30 telling her we should meet at 1. She texts me at 1 saying she has family stuff, but that she's really sorry and we could hang out in the future.

I told her to plan it and let me know. If she doesn't, I don't need her.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Time to get a nice bump, and this time with a decent length post to show for it.

So I was texting Mel, I don't know if I've talked about her yet, but she lives out of state. I will probably have sex with her when I see her. She texts me, I think I'm being smooth as ****. I was literally applauding myself for how smooth I am. Unfortunately, I partake in 'flowers' as I have often discussed around here recently (thinking I'm going to take a break after this weekend). So what I thought was going on is not exactly what happened.

Me: Hi
Her: Hiiii
Me: How are you?
Her: I'm pretty good. How are youu?
Me: Pretty alright. So you aren't coming to [mah city], right?
Her: Haha why?
Her: ???
Me: What do you mean why? Answer please
Her: Haha why do you wanna know if I'm coming? Then ill answer haha
GO DIRECT. ESCALATE!
Me: So i can fvck you, obviously. Are you coming? Too rape-y?
Her: I'm not saying no hahaha Ok cool
Me: Ugh I hate you
Her:Haha no you donttt!
Me: Youre not coming... So I sulk? Pvssy...
Her: I didn't say thatttt
Me:Yeah youre also a jerk for refusing to say it
Her: Nahhh you still love me
YAY now lets be stupid and high!
Me: Not until i see you. And I know i wont anytime soon. And I know where this conversation ends. Believe me, I know exactly what you want me to do to you. I could tell you, but im not going to. I think im going to save this conversation til after we figure out a day to visit friends at [college ill probably go to, she lives near it] at the same time. Possible?
This whole thing causes me pain. Why so much attachment? Why so much teenage angst? Disgusted with myself.
Her: I think you're getting ahead. You might see me sooner than you thinkkk
Me: don't let me down. I have a cute face, you dont wanna see it sad.
Her: Never would! I'm going to sleeep. Text me tomorrow! I never 'text you tomorrow'...
Me, a little later: Lol did you see the part in the conversation where i got high? Just saw it

So... I'm beating myself up over a really strange performance. It wasn't decidedly good or bad, and I don't think I changed anything. But that one part was WEIRD, and I withdrew it later. Couldn't even stand by my own statement. But she may be coming here! That's cool!

Megan's in DC. Told her I wanted to see her this weekend, asked when she'd be back. She said not this weekend. I hate to creep, and I'm not angry about it, but I know she gets back this Friday. A little weird.

So tonight I went to my class' spirit week practice. We were just starting to practice the partner dance that we do. The partners were obviously chosen by the dance-leading girls. The queen bees were all with good looking guys. Got put with a girl named Taylor. Don't think I've talked about her on here yet.

So I was friends with Taylor freshman year. First I dated one girl, then, my second girlfriend ever was Taylor. Never kissed her. She broke up with me within a week. I was a little pimp in that nerd crowd then, found another girl pretty quickly.

We ended up kissing sophomore year at a party. I was (quite obviously) trying to make my ex jealous when I would go and sit with Taylor. Also this other ugly chick was all up on me. Wouldn't have touched her with a ten foot poll. (She was the last girl I've hooked up with from my school. Hot body, huge t!ts, but some acne. Face is awful. Long, horse-like, bad. That was my lowest point, early this past summer.) Anyway, after everyone left the party, Taylor cornered me on the couch and kissed me. I was stunned, had no idea. We talked about it and I think wanted to see where it led, but I got back with my ex and nothing happened. Asked Taylor out fairly recently, she declined, so she could go see the school play. I went completely cold shoulder, she didn't pursue.

So today I was with Taylor. Great dance for fun kino, but I realize that she's awkward just like me. In a really bad way. We both have the tendency to wait for the other person to get a conversation going, and not offer great topics ourselves. It's just awkward. I had to do a lift, fairly quick and easy. Unfortunately, I'm a small guy and she's a bigger girl. She was immediately embarrassed. Everybody's got their thing.

Reminds me of another thing tonight. So this guy is probably the coolest person I know. Not based on looks, but just by being genuinely social to every person, and being pretty good at things. Foosball, videogames, basketball, whatever, he's just good at a lot of things. That's basically how I want to be cool, so he's a bit of a role model. For the story, you'll need to know that he's got a little acne on his forehead right now.

So tonight he put on a santa hat and was with us joking about it. Some kids were laughing, someone said to tilt it. He felt where his acne was. His hair was messed up around it. He goes, "like this?" and covers up his whole forehead. Another guy is like "Yeah, you got it." He looks startled for a second. I can tell he's thinking. Then, immediately, he goes, "Haha what? Do I need to cover my acne?" in a comfortable, secure way. The other guy goes "Oh, no, it's just covering your hair now."

Just liked the way he was calm, addressed his own inner issue and came out looking better for it. Wish I was better friends with him, I rarely say interesting things.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Hey guys, update on my life. Still on my no mb. Becoming more interested in Taoist sex ideas is helping a lot.

So Grace. Things have taken a bad turn, but I think I handled myself well. Here:

Me: Grace I hate knowing i have school tomorrow (Jan 2)
Me: Hey! I could be offended that you didnt answer my text the other day. I still want to know more about you though, so im trying again (3 pm, Jan 4)
Me: Love girls who are straight up with me, dont like ones who are shifty. Second semester senior, hope you enjoy it! (midnight, Jan 4)
Her: Dude, I'm sorry, I've had a really busy day. I don't have a lot of free time right now, and when I do, I want to spend it with my family and boyfriend and bestfriends. I never meant to be rude or lead you on. I'll see you around.
Me: Sure. Timing was wrong.
Her: It really was. I'd still like to be friends.
Me: No thanks. I only know how to think of you as sexy. See you around. (next morning)
Got a missed call from her later that morning, didn't call or text her, she hasn't contacted since.

So it's over, but at least it's over on my terms. Maybe she won't have a boyfriend in the future.

So nothing has happened with Taylor, I don't expect anything to happen.

Spirit Week happened though. Last night all the seniors spent the night at school, stayed up til 4 and decorated the school in Dr Seuss themes. I got closer with my grade, to explain for anyone who missed it earlier in the thread, I have only been close to the lowest socially valued people. Other than that I shut myself away doing art. Really meeting a lot of these kids for the first time this year (small class of around 100) and it's coming slowly. Have not been to any parties through my school this year. Probably around 1 am last night, I came upon a few guys in a circle. Some legitimately cool people, some obnoxious jocks. One was beatboxing, another was rapping. I've never seen anyone from my school rap.

I mentioned that I could freestyle, immediately it was a big deal over the rap battle. I got a rapping name that includes my last name. Being called it a lot now, it might stick. We got things set up, I did my thing and impressed some people. It was a one-verse contest, while my other groups of friends do 3-8 rounds. He went second, and beat me with a great punchline, "I fvck college girls, Univers-titties." Lost, and he was celebrated. I got mad props though, I don't think anyone else knows how to rap, and a lot of people were talking about a rematch. It didn't happen that night, but it will. It seemed like people's respect for me doubled instantly. Just gotta write some sick punchlines.

Maybe girls and parties from school are a viable option now.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Three general life-things.

I got my old keyboard from a friends house, set it up and have been learning on it. At first it was to improve my understanding of musical mechanics for the harmonica, but now I think piano will be my main instrument. It's a lot of fun. There are several things I can do on it. Play songs, practice and learn theory (the discussion of frequency fits really well with The Power of Now and string theory, I love it), learning scales can be fun, and I can set it up to play synth and put up a drum beat, then play basic songs/series of simple chords and rap over them.

That last part is definitely the most fun, but it helps to list all of those options here. I'm really enjoying all of them, this was a great decision all around.

Also, I'm on this and one other pick up site WAY too much. It's fine to devote some personal time to learning romance-theory, but I should be watching videos or reading experts, not focusing on the pettiness of high school.

I'm going to try to cut back, though I love the activity on this forum. It's a bustling place of life now, I love it. The only thing I wish for is more journals.

Lastly, I broke no mb this morning. Woke up around 5:30, unfortunately that's a habit I have to get back to sleep. Did it, and was too far in when I realized. Couldn't will myself to quit.

I was one week in. I'm now going for 2 weeks again. Jan 22.

 

[Mindgamez]

Nice journal. Keep it on and no need to beat yourself up. We all do sometimes, but in the end it doesn't help at all. I also read like hell sometimes... and I don't take many opportunities to practice for real. Okay I'm leaving now haha

I'll keep reading your journal sometimes. It's interesting to see how you progress. And thanks for your post on my little Journal