She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
That's fine.Rhino said:From what I've heard pushups are good for making your chest look bigger, but they don't actually make you much stronger.
I thought about this for a while, and realized I hadn't given it enough consideration. My entire body is important to exercise (except legs, **** dat ****). I liked push-ups, and was given them some undue consideration in my lifestyle. I rarely get in complete work outs, so this is most of the muscle building I'll do. I think my problem is that I never got into the gym experience, and I don't like the feeling of overexerting one muscle a bunch then moving on to the next one.NorwegianDJ said:Muscle imbalances in chest/back causing you to hunch over, aka bad posture.
I don't have a lifting partner either and I gym.
You're right. Hence my change in habit. Yesterday did crunches and planks, today back to push ups, tomorrow will be overhand pull-ups. This will hopefully give different muscle sections a rest and be a more complete work out.Jack Wealthy said:Give yourself a rest. Muscles need more resistance. More resistance needs more nerve coordination, you Central Nervous System needs rest to be able to improve coordination. You have one so rest for it, not your muscles.
The pushups thing has no grounding in reality. The opposite if anything.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
No, you missed the point. I'm saying the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM needs rest a lot more than the muscles. Resistance training strains it a lot, far more than frisbee or basketball. If you don't have at least one complete and one or two partial rest days, you will depress the system. Your strength will decrease greatly. Your muscles will then shrink.LearningSlowly said:You're right. Hence my change in habit. Yesterday did crunches and planks, today back to push ups, tomorrow will be overhand pull-ups. This will hopefully give different muscle sections a rest and be a more complete work out.
On working out my legs, I'd prefer for someone to tell me how they're important. I play basketball and frisbee, so there's jumping and running going on, but cosmetically the upper body has disproportionate advantage.
I see. I understand the importance in this post, at least. It will go against my natural initiatives to exercise gradually but I'll have to make it work. One related question: Could I split a 7-day week as follows: Strength (push ups, pull ups, squats), Core, Strength, Flexibility, Core, Strength, Flexibility. I hate not doing anything on a given day, this is the best way I see to give myself a task each day.Jack Wealthy said:No, you missed the point. I'm saying the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM needs rest a lot more than the muscles. Resistance training strains it a lot, far more than frisbee or basketball. If you don't have at least one complete and one or two partial rest days, you will depress the system. Your strength will decrease greatly. Your muscles will then shrink.
The amount of HGH and Testosterone released by an excersise is proportional to intensity, amount of muscles worked and size of muscles worked. The legs have a HUGE advantage over any other muscle because leg excersises usually work more muscles and always work bigger muscles.
This is the same reason that for a casual approach, splitting this way will yield little long term cosmetic change. Bodybuilders split because they put disproportianote pressure on the muscle fibres over the CNS to increase hypertrophy and minimise strength gain. It gets complicated, but you should want to increase both. If you JUST want muscle then this approach won't work, do not split because the amount of growth hormones this workout would release is minimal. If you just want muscular endurance, decent workout. For both size and strength, do not split. Workout 3x a week focusing on high-intensity compound excersises like squats, pullups and pushups. Situps and planks are used to refine, not build, a body.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
It's all good, I appreciate the information.NorwegianDJ said:We probably should make a seperate workout thread, sorry.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
It does, and I don't know what the future holds with her. It may have just been a bad day for it, literally the day after a guy ended a fling with her. I have no regrets.NorwegianDJ said:Feels so much better to just TRY, right?
Honestly, I don't know; I've never been in that situation.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.