That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That's fine.Rhino said:From what I've heard pushups are good for making your chest look bigger, but they don't actually make you much stronger.
I thought about this for a while, and realized I hadn't given it enough consideration. My entire body is important to exercise (except legs, **** dat ****). I liked push-ups, and was given them some undue consideration in my lifestyle. I rarely get in complete work outs, so this is most of the muscle building I'll do. I think my problem is that I never got into the gym experience, and I don't like the feeling of overexerting one muscle a bunch then moving on to the next one.NorwegianDJ said:Muscle imbalances in chest/back causing you to hunch over, aka bad posture.
I don't have a lifting partner either and I gym.
You're right. Hence my change in habit. Yesterday did crunches and planks, today back to push ups, tomorrow will be overhand pull-ups. This will hopefully give different muscle sections a rest and be a more complete work out.Jack Wealthy said:Give yourself a rest. Muscles need more resistance. More resistance needs more nerve coordination, you Central Nervous System needs rest to be able to improve coordination. You have one so rest for it, not your muscles.
The pushups thing has no grounding in reality. The opposite if anything.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
No, you missed the point. I'm saying the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM needs rest a lot more than the muscles. Resistance training strains it a lot, far more than frisbee or basketball. If you don't have at least one complete and one or two partial rest days, you will depress the system. Your strength will decrease greatly. Your muscles will then shrink.LearningSlowly said:You're right. Hence my change in habit. Yesterday did crunches and planks, today back to push ups, tomorrow will be overhand pull-ups. This will hopefully give different muscle sections a rest and be a more complete work out.
On working out my legs, I'd prefer for someone to tell me how they're important. I play basketball and frisbee, so there's jumping and running going on, but cosmetically the upper body has disproportionate advantage.
I see. I understand the importance in this post, at least. It will go against my natural initiatives to exercise gradually but I'll have to make it work. One related question: Could I split a 7-day week as follows: Strength (push ups, pull ups, squats), Core, Strength, Flexibility, Core, Strength, Flexibility. I hate not doing anything on a given day, this is the best way I see to give myself a task each day.Jack Wealthy said:No, you missed the point. I'm saying the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM needs rest a lot more than the muscles. Resistance training strains it a lot, far more than frisbee or basketball. If you don't have at least one complete and one or two partial rest days, you will depress the system. Your strength will decrease greatly. Your muscles will then shrink.
The amount of HGH and Testosterone released by an excersise is proportional to intensity, amount of muscles worked and size of muscles worked. The legs have a HUGE advantage over any other muscle because leg excersises usually work more muscles and always work bigger muscles.
This is the same reason that for a casual approach, splitting this way will yield little long term cosmetic change. Bodybuilders split because they put disproportianote pressure on the muscle fibres over the CNS to increase hypertrophy and minimise strength gain. It gets complicated, but you should want to increase both. If you JUST want muscle then this approach won't work, do not split because the amount of growth hormones this workout would release is minimal. If you just want muscular endurance, decent workout. For both size and strength, do not split. Workout 3x a week focusing on high-intensity compound excersises like squats, pullups and pushups. Situps and planks are used to refine, not build, a body.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
It's all good, I appreciate the information.NorwegianDJ said:We probably should make a seperate workout thread, sorry.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
It does, and I don't know what the future holds with her. It may have just been a bad day for it, literally the day after a guy ended a fling with her. I have no regrets.NorwegianDJ said:Feels so much better to just TRY, right?
Honestly, I don't know; I've never been in that situation.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.