"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I'm fine talking to girls, but when I'm interested in them, I stumble in my words

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Brighty

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Like for example, I've been talking to this HB8 at work for the past few weeks and she's shown obvious signs that she's into me and I've been talking to her no problem when I didn't feel pressured to ask her out or anything. But when I finally decided in my mind to ask her out, I noticed that I started acting nervous around her and tripped up in my words, causing her to lose interest in me (she thought I was a smooth talker and a suave guy.. and I was.. until I went to ask her out). How can I remedy this? I'm fine talking to girls and even flirting with girls, but when it comes time for me to ask a girl out, I turn into a nervous wreck.

Has anyone else been like this? I'm 17 by the way, so is this apart of being inexperienced in the field?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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immrtlwun

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It sounds like you psyched yourself out. A lot of times when you plan ahead to ask a girl out, especially early in your DJ path, you get nervous and basically put her back on a pedestal by having a vested emotional interest in whether or not she says yes.
You just have to practice casually and spontaneously inviting girls do do things that aren't traditional dinner-and-a-movie dates- coffee, helping you shop for an outfit, etc.
 
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DonJuan11

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Brighty said:
I've been talking to her no problem when I didn't feel pressured to ask her out or anything. But when I finally decided in my mind to ask her out, I noticed that I started acting nervous around her and tripped up in my words, causing her to lose interest in me (she thought I was a smooth talker and a suave guy.. and I was.. until I went to ask her out). How can I remedy this? I'm fine talking to girls and even flirting with girls, but when it comes time for me to ask a girl out, I turn into a nervous wreck.
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Your ego is getting in the way. You are too afraid of getting a "no" answer from her because you're afraid the ego won't be able to handle it. When there is no pressure, you have to problem talking to her because the ego does risk rejection, it's like talking to your sister.

Try not to put so much emphasis on the "asking out" a specific time and date. One of those times that you are comfortable talking to her, casually say "hey, lets go a coffee at lunch, I know a great place around the corner." In that case, you've continued the flow of things and let it run smoothly. By asking her out directly on a specific time and date, you risk: rejection, her being busy, her not answering back, her having better stuff to do. There are way too many unknowns and lots of opportunity for her to say no.
 
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Five To One

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Consiously talk slower.
When you talk to her think in your head what you want to say and take your time.

Just remember theres no rush.

I always come off as more intelliegent, thoughtful and smooth when I slow my speach down a bit.
 
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619joe

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If you did mess it up bad,stumble and mess up purposely again.

Joke around afterwards and tell her that your practising for an audition where you have to act really nervous asking someone out
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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HolyG

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Five To One said:
Consiously talk slower.
When you talk to her think in your head what you want to say and take your time.

Just remember theres no rush.

I always come off as more intelliegent, thoughtful and smooth when I slow my speach down a bit.
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Bingo
 
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Crazy Asian

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i know wut ur talking about.
i find myself stumbling every time i have a mission in my head.
like i'm going to get her number, or i'm gonna ask her out or something.
so just don't think.
just do.
don't plan, but just have confidence.
 
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Brighty

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Appreciate the help, guys. Some great advice here.
 
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Georgey

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i have the same problem, but i read this somewhere: what a girl thinks of u now is different than what she thought of u yesterday and is different from what she'll think of u tomorrow. so dont worry much bout the way u asked her out, instead try to make the date fun.
what the DJs here said is great help too, talking slowly is a remedy to what ure saying and the ego thing.
plus, i'd like to know what u guys think bout what crazy asian said..not to plan! is this better?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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