"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I'm fine talking to girls, but when I'm interested in them, I stumble in my words

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Brighty

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Like for example, I've been talking to this HB8 at work for the past few weeks and she's shown obvious signs that she's into me and I've been talking to her no problem when I didn't feel pressured to ask her out or anything. But when I finally decided in my mind to ask her out, I noticed that I started acting nervous around her and tripped up in my words, causing her to lose interest in me (she thought I was a smooth talker and a suave guy.. and I was.. until I went to ask her out). How can I remedy this? I'm fine talking to girls and even flirting with girls, but when it comes time for me to ask a girl out, I turn into a nervous wreck.

Has anyone else been like this? I'm 17 by the way, so is this apart of being inexperienced in the field?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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immrtlwun

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It sounds like you psyched yourself out. A lot of times when you plan ahead to ask a girl out, especially early in your DJ path, you get nervous and basically put her back on a pedestal by having a vested emotional interest in whether or not she says yes.
You just have to practice casually and spontaneously inviting girls do do things that aren't traditional dinner-and-a-movie dates- coffee, helping you shop for an outfit, etc.
 
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DonJuan11

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Brighty said:
I've been talking to her no problem when I didn't feel pressured to ask her out or anything. But when I finally decided in my mind to ask her out, I noticed that I started acting nervous around her and tripped up in my words, causing her to lose interest in me (she thought I was a smooth talker and a suave guy.. and I was.. until I went to ask her out). How can I remedy this? I'm fine talking to girls and even flirting with girls, but when it comes time for me to ask a girl out, I turn into a nervous wreck.
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Your ego is getting in the way. You are too afraid of getting a "no" answer from her because you're afraid the ego won't be able to handle it. When there is no pressure, you have to problem talking to her because the ego does risk rejection, it's like talking to your sister.

Try not to put so much emphasis on the "asking out" a specific time and date. One of those times that you are comfortable talking to her, casually say "hey, lets go a coffee at lunch, I know a great place around the corner." In that case, you've continued the flow of things and let it run smoothly. By asking her out directly on a specific time and date, you risk: rejection, her being busy, her not answering back, her having better stuff to do. There are way too many unknowns and lots of opportunity for her to say no.
 
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Five To One

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Consiously talk slower.
When you talk to her think in your head what you want to say and take your time.

Just remember theres no rush.

I always come off as more intelliegent, thoughtful and smooth when I slow my speach down a bit.
 
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619joe

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If you did mess it up bad,stumble and mess up purposely again.

Joke around afterwards and tell her that your practising for an audition where you have to act really nervous asking someone out
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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HolyG

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Five To One said:
Consiously talk slower.
When you talk to her think in your head what you want to say and take your time.

Just remember theres no rush.

I always come off as more intelliegent, thoughtful and smooth when I slow my speach down a bit.
Click to expand...

Bingo
 
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Crazy Asian

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i know wut ur talking about.
i find myself stumbling every time i have a mission in my head.
like i'm going to get her number, or i'm gonna ask her out or something.
so just don't think.
just do.
don't plan, but just have confidence.
 
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Brighty

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Appreciate the help, guys. Some great advice here.
 
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Georgey

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i have the same problem, but i read this somewhere: what a girl thinks of u now is different than what she thought of u yesterday and is different from what she'll think of u tomorrow. so dont worry much bout the way u asked her out, instead try to make the date fun.
what the DJs here said is great help too, talking slowly is a remedy to what ure saying and the ego thing.
plus, i'd like to know what u guys think bout what crazy asian said..not to plan! is this better?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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