"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"Im down to hang out but strictly plutonic"
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Asking for her to come to you on a weekend getaway is too excessive this early. You're basically admitting all your interest and pushing for relationship mode too soon. That's why she said that. You're giving off vibes that you're a couple, 'cause that's what couples do. Were you supposed to sleep in a hotel together? Heh..JYW said:dealing with a similar situation now. met up with this girl for drinks two weeks ago, it went well. she asked me to travel with her but cancelled due to changed plans... now when i ask her to a 2-day weekend trip she turns me down, saying i'm not her bf...i just straight up ignored the *****
**** being in the bullpen, you should be starting
Even though they do the same thing - its not in your favor to reciprocate their interest, agree to, or set up these extravagant plans. They can want to marry you all they want - you remain cool and keep the game where its supposed to be. Don't go on or plan all these trips with them, spend so much time together, and all this relationshipy stuff - even though that's what they claim to want. Once you follow through and act in this manner - poof goes their interest.
When their interest is high - whatever you're doing is working, so don't stop doing it. Yeah, they'll get ahead of themselves, and want your babies, but what are they actually responding to when they say this? Exactly. That's what works - not getting married and having their babies. That's when they'll need space. Ha ha. Women...
damnsam
Don Juan
I think the invite for some wine and a movie was too soon. Good idea to have her swing by real quick for a drink or something and then head out to bowling or some other activity at a fun venue. By inviting her over just for a second it builds some comfort to the idea of coming over to your place. From her reply "I'm down to hang out but strictly plutonic" it's not a bad thing but actually a good sign that this girl respects herself and has some standards. So she's saying no offense to you, nothing wrong on your part and I'm interested to spend time with you but I'm just not that type of girl. A lot of posts seem to be anti-relationship and it's either give me quick sex or I'm out, but this girl might be good relationship material. Again each to his own but relationships with a great girl can be much more fullfilling than a quick lay.
I think you hit the nail on the head here. And I gotta say, I think lot of people fail to realize, ESPECIALLY the average chump, that the friend zone is a two way street. If she wants to be your friend, cool. She might be an awesome friend, but she shouldn't get any sort of girlfriend treatment or benefits until she deserves it.MasterFuu said:Go hang out with the girl have lots of fun and see what happens. If she didn't like you she would not even hang out with you. Maybe she has girlfriends that are attractive? It's always good to put yourself out there and see what happens...you never know.
Not to mention, if she's keeping "plutonic", then you have full permission to hit on her friends, other women as well, if she whines, or gets jealous, you can tell her she put her self in the friend zone.
Just like I said earlier,I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to go after it, don't get upset or sad if it goes no where, you tried and failed and you're man enough to move on and look elsewhere.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Jeffst1980
Master Don Juan
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It is important that a girl feels like things "just happened," so that she doesn't feel like a slvt.
Also, don't judge whether a girl is "relationship material" until you've dated her non-exclusively for a couple of months. Doing so tends to provoke unattractive needy behavior on your end, and besides, you don't really know her.
Amen!Jeffst1980 said:For future reference, NEVER suggest wine and a movie at your place for a first date. Instead, make the date for a venue walking distance from your place, and then invite her to stop by for just a minute, if things are going well. Also give the disclaimer that she can't stay long, since you have to get up early tomorrow.
It is important that a girl feels like things "just happened," so that she doesn't feel like a slvt.
Also, don't judge whether a girl is "relationship material" until you've dated her non-exclusively for a couple of months. Doing so tends to provoke unattractive needy behavior on your end, and besides, you don't really know her.
Girls love to feel like it just happened, like she got "caught up in the moment".
The number of times a girl has said to me "we're not having s!x tonight", and I've kept my cool and then ended up banging her brains out later in the night...