Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I'm done being honest with women

Gamisch

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I quoted OP's "life plans, career goals and ambitions" as approximately what I wanted to say, but in OPs own words. So you're kinda disagreeing with OP's first post more than me. To join that disagreement, I don't recall ever going over "life plans and career goals" on a date. Why would I plan my life with someone I've just met, unless I wanted to seem desperate?

If I can reword that more to my liking, I'd say: Women want to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. In my experience (expat), women always ask what men do on a first date - maybe as a first question. They need to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. It's a starting point for a guy to talk about himself, reveal something she needs to know, and hopefully hand the conversation back to her.

How frequently do you encounter gold diggers? They seem rather rare. I heard a celebrity claim you can tell based on what they're interested in: your watch, where you got it, how much it costs, etc.
I quoted OP's "life plans, career goals and ambitions" as approximately what I wanted to say, but in OPs own words. So you're kinda disagreeing with OP's first post more than me. To join that disagreement, I don't recall ever going over "life plans and career goals" on a date. Why would I plan my life with someone I've just met, unless I wanted to seem desperate?

If I can reword that more to my liking, I'd say: Women want to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. In my experience (expat), women always ask what men do on a first date - maybe as a first question. They need to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. It's a starting point for a guy to talk about himself, reveal something she needs to know, and hopefully hand the conversation back to her.

How frequently do you encounter gold diggers? They seem rather rare. I heard a celebrity claim you can tell based on what they're interested in: your watch, where you got it, how much it costs, etc.
oke i might've interpreted your post wrong. But..c'mon bro.

I think the no job part is overrated. A man can be "in between jobs" , he could've saved some money ect. Heck, the merciless players I've grew up with would straight up lie about the best jobs lol. They were pilots, doctors , surgeons, lawyers ect whatever HB needed tl hear...

I'll give you a prime example: I know a guy who got into a business with his family. He struggled with women all his life. BUT, now he mentioned he is a "business owner " and BOOM suddenly he matches with hb7 who doesn't mind she is one and a half heads taller than him(she's 6,2 he is 5,5 lol) and BOOM 6 months later they're living together.

I call that subliminal gold digging. I don't mean to argue with you , just wanna point out that gold diggers come in many different shapes. Its naive to think only celebrities or men with watches face this.

I've been in this game too long to miss this kinda stuff..I'd say that most women swiping left(no) on you are digging for mr just right/perfect.

But oke.
 

BeExcellent

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The way you tell a gold digger is that they express greater interest in what you have than who you are.

This can be subtle. But women do screen for sensible reasons too. I for example required a six figure income/career in my husband because a) that’s what I earn & relate to & what my lifestyle requires with or without a man, and b) I’ve had the experience of being with someone who I had to support financially for years after his business failed (my first husband) and no way in hell I am getting in a situation like that ever again.

Obviously be careful about leading an interaction with bragging about what you have. My husband was intrigued by me based on attraction. He didn’t know my age (he assumed I was younger than him), he didn’t know my net worth (until MUCH later), he didn’t know what I drive.

The draw was attraction on both sides. That is what you want as a starting point.
 

FlirtLife

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oke i might've interpreted your post wrong. But..c'mon bro.

I think the no job part is overrated. A man can be "in between jobs" , he could've saved some money ect.
I've been there, and explained it on dates. In my view, women detect men going nowhere by their lack of job. I personally don't know examples of those men, but they're on the dating market with plenty of time to waste. It helps to see women's job as filtering out, because then you realize "no job" risks getting filtered out.

If you say "I don't have a job" and change topics without explaining, later you'll find there's no second date. If you say "I don't have a job, but I worked as XXXX and have an interview next week", and then change topics, it works better. That's my point - women are filtering, and "no job" filters you out if you don't explain yourself.


I'll give you a prime example: I know a guy who got into a business with his family. He struggled with women all his life. BUT, now he mentioned he is a "business owner " and BOOM suddenly he matches with hb7 who doesn't mind she is one and a half heads taller than him(she's 6,2 he is 5,5 lol) and BOOM 6 months later they're living together.

I call that subliminal gold digging. I don't mean to argue with you , just wanna point out that gold diggers come in many different shapes. Its naive to think only celebrities or men with watches face this.

I've been in this game too long to miss this kinda stuff..I'd say that most women swiping left(no) on you are digging for mr just right/perfect.
My definition leans more towards the Kanye song, so a bit more narrow.
 

Gamisch

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I've been there, and explained it on dates. In my view, women detect men going nowhere by their lack of job. I personally don't know examples of those men, but they're on the dating market with plenty of time to waste. It helps to see women's job as filtering out, because then you realize "no job" risks getting filtered out.

If you say "I don't have a job" and change topics without explaining, later you'll find there's no second date. If you say "I don't have a job, but I worked as XXXX and have an interview next week", and then change topics, it works better. That's my point - women are filtering, and "no job" filters you out if you don't explain yourself.



My definition leans more towards the Kanye song, so a bit more narrow.

Haven't heard it in while...hope Jamie is doing oke after exposing P diddy...
 

CjXo

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u can absolutely trust women…..to be women.
Look dude, 90% of women r talking sh1t and exposing the fuk out of their bf/husband’s to anyone that will listen on the regular.
Being honest with women is counterproductive. Only be honest if it will benefit u. And share just enough.
 

soulforge

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I’ve written extensively here about this. It’s a flipping tragedy that we cannot, but we just can’t.
One thing I have never done with girls.

Let them know anything about issues/problems in my life.

Never talk about my family and friends dynamics with her.

I tend to keep them in dark, she just needs to know that I am on my purpose and everything else is good.
 

soulforge

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A woman will never understand what its like to be a man, nor could she handle our honest, raw, and explicit thoughts and feelings. A womans emotions are too fragile.

Our value is in our strength. A woman's value is in her vulnerability. Thats why it works. Its why no man thinks its wise to be too vulnerable with a woman.
Why?

Serious question.

I do agree that women who can handle everything are rare. But so is real intimacy.

Vulnerability comes from a place of trust and a place of strength. A man’s vulnerability is something I consider privilege to be informed of, and something I guard closely.

It is a team thing.
I get this... but from a man's perceptive you are literally rolling dice.

Ok I get it, you can handle & like to be with a man who is able to display funerability with you.

However many many women are not able to do this, and will lose attraction for a vunerability man.

I know what your going to say? Oh well that isn't the right girl for you.

How many options do you think an average guy has out there?

He shows vunerability to his GF and gets DUMPED

It might be another 12 months till he is able to get himself a relationship again.

Do you really think he will roll dice again with his vulnerability? Just to be on the recieving end of another Dumping.
 

Solomon

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One thing I have never done with girls.

Let them know anything about issues/problems in my life.

Never talk about my family and friends dynamics with her.

I tend to keep them in dark, she just needs to know that I am on my purpose and everything else is good.
^^^BIngo I never talk about my issues with a woman unless we are serious but even then I keep things to a minimum. I've noticed in the last few years that women now tend to overshare on dates or even before. For example, I was dating a 26-year-old earlier this year she told me she was taking anti-depressants and anxiety medication. I didn't think anything of it cause I forgot and was buzzed. However, I soon started to notice that every time we would speak it was depressing like she was never happy it was always one thing or the other stressing her out, granted she was a teacher so I understood but even the pictures of herself she would sent me would be depressing. I think the final nail in the coffin was when I went to her apartment and it was filthy. I mean random crap on the floor she didn't even pick up. Another woman whom I matched with on Tinder a while ago told me she was eating sushi at a nice restruant cause she got stood up. Mind you this was our first conversation and was kind of a Yellow flag that she would tell me this. Come to find out I know why the guy ghosted her, she was a time waster who only wanted to text etc after a few days I unmatched. The thing about women who do overshare is you can take note and vet them better. IMO I rather find out sooner than later i.e. woman has incurable STD's I've had women tell me before or during a first date I rather know before. It sucks but I've noticed those type of women are always on their best behavior initially sometimes when a woman acts to interested it's a red flag lol

I've noticed a rise in women oversharing their trauma or issues. While I appreciate the transparency and honesty sometimes what they overshare is just to much. Personally I learned to share what is necessary a woman doesn't have to know about my finances, my family problems etc. I've learned in the past oversharing either makes women run away or most of them don't last long enough to learn certain things about you anyway

Remember a woman getting to know you is a privilege, not a right!
 

Pierce Manhammer

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A very attractive female said this to me once: "In the initial stages, always stay on the side of less data sharing. Most women actively seek to disqualify you, so the more information they have about you, the easier this is. Make them work for it, and by all means, fack them silly before you share much; that way, they'll at least stick around for sex."
 

FlexpertHamilton

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A very attractive female said this to me once: "In the initial stages, always stay on the side of less data sharing. Most women actively seek to disqualify you, so the more information they have about you, the easier this is. Make them work for it, and by all means, fack them silly before you share much; that way, they'll at least stick around for sex."
This is good advice, but there's more nuance to it. My thoughts since creating this topic have changed somewhat. I maintain that oversharing is bad, but there are silver linings to it. Yes, oversharing can make them disqualify you. But this is a good thing. Women who will disqualify a man over trivial things are in a sense doing the work for you (ie, disqualifying the girl). One of the first things I talk about on dates now is comedy, to gauge their sense of humor, since it's extremely important to me that the people in my life can laugh at things without getting offended. I'll gladly share the fact that I like Louis CK, Ricky Gervais, Anthony Jesselnik, other "dark" comedians, and I may make offensive jokes or statements. If she doesnt like it, that's good because it means I wouldn't get along with her. Of course, as a general fact, and over the long-run, oversharing is definitely a net negative and bad idea.

All this said, it depends on the caliber of woman you're with too but this is further nuance that can be applied to any discussion. I she's like a 9/10 and intelligent, kind, overall high quality, then yeah, you probably shouldn't give her reasons to disqualify you, and yeah, you might need to chase her a bit more than you would with other women.

But if you're on a date with a mid girl and you slip in that you like to sleep in and don't like working all day, let it disqualify you, who does this mid chick think she is to disqualify me because I'm not a worker bee in the matrix of the rat race?
 

Mertz09

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Yep they judge pretty quickly and you don't have to put much out there. Better to leave them wondering. Get them invested first, but never tell them the whole story. You can't ever be 100% real with a woman, no matter if she is deeply in love with you. When a man gets too emotional/too open/too soft he doesn't fill the role the woman looks for. She wants a rock. That's what makes her feel secure. When you talk like she does she doesn't see you as a rock. That's why it backfires.

Here's what a red pill reply looks like @CornbreadFed . A little truth learned from experience. Call it negative. It's really not. Trial and error, and acceptance. It is what it is.
Women never want full disclosure.
 

SW15

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A very attractive female said this to me once: "In the initial stages, always stay on the side of less data sharing. Most women actively seek to disqualify you, so the more information they have about you, the easier this is. Make them work for it, and by all means, fack them silly before you share much; that way, they'll at least stick around for sex."
I agree with this. I don't believe in outright lying but omitting information is acceptable and likely helps the cause.
 

Konada

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As a happily married man, I can echo what @BeExcellent shared here.

Sharing your feelings with your significant other doesn't make you look weak, refusing to own them and pick yourself up is.

Of course, context matters. Mystery may hook a woman in the early phase of dating, but when the relationship progresses, men need to be able to show their vulnerability as well. Else, there is little intimacy to be nurtured.
 

BackInTheGame78

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This isn't lying, it's pacing yourself in a relationship.

Imagine your goal is to keep a woman hungry and wanting more.

You are sitting her down to a giant banquet and force feeding her mouth until she is stuffed and doesn't even want to look at food for a few days.

You should be spoon feeding her information so that she is hungry for more and keeps coming back.

If you give her the banquet feast all at once why would she ever come back for more? She already got all she needs in one sitting.
 

LTG71

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The experience I have had with women is they typically won’t accept or discredit your feelings when you open up deeply. It’s as if they are gaslighting you about your own feelings.

Me: “I feel like (fill in the blank) in this situation“
Her: “I don’t understand what you are saying. You are wrong, It’s like this.”

It’s not that you are “wrong.” It‘s that they have zero understanding what is going on from your male perspective.

They don’t know how to take the information in and be empathetic. The information they receive is from their female perspective and their default is to be solipsistic. Telling her too much is a waste of time because she generally doesn’t understand or care to listen. Also takes away from the fantasy in her head.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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The experience I have had with women is they typically won’t accept or discredit your feelings when you open up deeply. It’s as if they are gaslighting you about your own feelings.

Me: “I feel like (fill in the blank) in this situation“
Her: “I don’t understand what you are saying. You are wrong, It’s like this.”

It’s not that you are “wrong.” It‘s that they have zero understanding what is going on from your male perspective.

They don’t know how to take the information in and be empathetic. The information they receive is from their female perspective and their default is to be solipsistic. Telling her too much is a waste of time because she generally doesn’t understand or care to listen. Also takes away from the fantasy in her head.
They really don't understand. There is only girl I've ever dated who seemed to have genuine empathy and seeked to understand what I say. The rest will indeed gaslight you for having original thoughts.
 

JackTripper

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Lies and deception are a woman’s world of expertise.

I’d imagine if 100% of what you said were blatant lies, my guess is women would be all over you. They love lies. Big lies, little lies, white lies. Women even lie about being liars and they believe their own lies with precision accuracy.

They would lavish in your attempt to be like them, and to think like them. And to be in the company of such a bold and brazen man it might intoxicate and delight them to the core.
 
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