Cogent Ops.
Don Juan
It has been like a week and a half since I got out of a relationship with this girl. She was the first girl that I had dated in more than 2 years, and I went all AFC and started to think that she was special and we had some sacred bond or something, even though the relationship wasnt THAT great and she definitely wasnt good for me. We saw each other for like 6 weeks before she ****ed it up.
On homecoming night the b!tch got drunk and started getting all over this guy while I was sitting there, myself drunk too, staring and forcing myself not to smash the guy's face in. There was nothing bad going on between us when she did this. In fact, it was going pretty damn good one minute, and the next minute she is hopping on this guy. I was so drunk and so pissed, and I let her ruin my night. I sat there pissed off in the corner the entire night.
The next day I talked to her and she said she doesnt know how to explain herself, and she had no idea why she did it. Then she said she didnt want a relationship because she had a lot of sh*t in her life to sort out. She said she had already done some bogus sh*t to me and we werent even that serious, and she didnt want to have to deal with **** like that.
I was really pissed at her, and I still am pissed about what she did, but I still find myself wishing we could have worked out. I was really sad for like 2 days after homecoming, and since then I have still gotten sad when i thought about her. I find myself thinking about her way too much. I occupy myself with plenty of hobbies, but still, at some point during the day I think about her. I see her at school at least a few times every day, and I find myself anticipating these moments. I have made sure to walk by her in the morning when I am going to talk to my friends. I dont know why either, all I do is look at her and she looks at me and all my bad feelings come back.
I have tried to stop thinking about her, but it is hard when I see her every day. During the relationship I was going through a rough time in my life, so I guess that I might have latched onto her and I relied on her to make me feel like there was something good about my life, and now that she is gone I am having trouble feeling good about myself.
I need to prevent this type of thing in future relationships, because I dont like placing my happiness in the hands of a hoe. I guess if I have enough other things in my life making me happy I won't give a damn if I have a girl or not...
Advice, however harsh, is much appreciated.
EDIT* I wrote this and realized that my problem is that I need to just quit thinking about her, and I need to force myself not to care about her or whether or not I see her, and right after thinking this I signed on AIM, and the first thing I thought as I signed on was "I wonder if she is online. If she is, will she talk to me? Should I talk to her? If she talks what will she say to me."
I tried, but still I couldnt force these thoughts out of my head.
On homecoming night the b!tch got drunk and started getting all over this guy while I was sitting there, myself drunk too, staring and forcing myself not to smash the guy's face in. There was nothing bad going on between us when she did this. In fact, it was going pretty damn good one minute, and the next minute she is hopping on this guy. I was so drunk and so pissed, and I let her ruin my night. I sat there pissed off in the corner the entire night.
The next day I talked to her and she said she doesnt know how to explain herself, and she had no idea why she did it. Then she said she didnt want a relationship because she had a lot of sh*t in her life to sort out. She said she had already done some bogus sh*t to me and we werent even that serious, and she didnt want to have to deal with **** like that.
I was really pissed at her, and I still am pissed about what she did, but I still find myself wishing we could have worked out. I was really sad for like 2 days after homecoming, and since then I have still gotten sad when i thought about her. I find myself thinking about her way too much. I occupy myself with plenty of hobbies, but still, at some point during the day I think about her. I see her at school at least a few times every day, and I find myself anticipating these moments. I have made sure to walk by her in the morning when I am going to talk to my friends. I dont know why either, all I do is look at her and she looks at me and all my bad feelings come back.
I have tried to stop thinking about her, but it is hard when I see her every day. During the relationship I was going through a rough time in my life, so I guess that I might have latched onto her and I relied on her to make me feel like there was something good about my life, and now that she is gone I am having trouble feeling good about myself.
I need to prevent this type of thing in future relationships, because I dont like placing my happiness in the hands of a hoe. I guess if I have enough other things in my life making me happy I won't give a damn if I have a girl or not...
Advice, however harsh, is much appreciated.
EDIT* I wrote this and realized that my problem is that I need to just quit thinking about her, and I need to force myself not to care about her or whether or not I see her, and right after thinking this I signed on AIM, and the first thing I thought as I signed on was "I wonder if she is online. If she is, will she talk to me? Should I talk to her? If she talks what will she say to me."
I tried, but still I couldnt force these thoughts out of my head.
I know.. I know.. but hey.. I'm a newb.. I don't know these things..