I'm Becoming Needy...Dang.

[Alkali]

At first she was the one demanding everything, a really great, beautiful girl. Now, somehow, things have flipped entirely. She was initially the needy one. However, her delicate emotions quickly made me feel guilty. So I foolishly ended up putting in the effort because I liked her.

My best guess as to identifying what the hell happened is that the previously mentioned exertion caused me to become emotionally involved which, in turn, nurtured fragmented AFCness. Cognitive dissonance is a hideous, revolting concept. I can see myself becoming needy, servile even. I’m expecting phone calls, looking for affirmation; I can’t even tease her properly.

1. Don't let this happen to you.

2. How can I be helped?

I can't just stop talking to her, she'll be hurt, and I really don't want that. Unfortunately, she's also a mess of circumstantial problems that I loathe dealing with. I just can't find a balance with this one. Becoming emotionally involved won't end well, that much is obvious. So how can I ultimately be with her but like her less? In other words, I need an easy way to decrease partiality.

Yeah, I know that sounds bizarre. She’s pretty much perfect though, so I’m going to need an independent solution, think along the lines of How Not to be a Bithc, For Dummies.

 

[xdreamz]

basically by not having her be your only source of pleasure. start seeing more woman and assume that the chick is head over heals for you

 

[Alkali]

Oh she's definitely nuts about me. That really isn't the problem. The issue is that I'm crazy about her. I feel like saying the L-word, it makes me sick. She's kind of a jealous person, not in a bad way though. In fact, I positively love that she's possessive. Ok, more women...that sounds simple. I'm also still in school though, girls here don't take kindly to free trade. So it's kind of dicey, any other ideas?

Oh my god, I'm whipped. Funk Me.

 

[Socialreject]

If you live off your own energy, if you've created your life in the image that you envisioned, if you've explored your limits creating it, if you've looked in the mirror, and seen in your own eyes, the man that you are...

This would not be a problem...

A womans world is something very different from a mans world. it's a world of chaos, of drama, of intense emotions, and turmoil... Women look to men to provide structure, to apply the "mr fix it" logic to the world, and while it may be enjoyable to live in her world for a while, don't lose track of who, and especially what you are...

You're the man, you're the builder, you're the moderator... She can throw fits, she can throw tantrums, she can create drama, in fact she most definitely will, she is a woman...

It's upto you to stay in your world, which makes sense to you, and not become lost in hers. Even if your motives are simply compassion, you'll be the greatest help to her if you simply keep your composure.

Don't worry, this is a good thing... It's your birth right as a male, to fulfill this role, and when you do, you'll feel better, happier, more in control, and stronger...

So...

Snap out of it!

You shouldn't fear intense emotions you feel for her. All is as nature has planned it, but you need to keep your composure. Taste her world, don't live in it. Enjoy it, don't entertain it...

Temperance!

 

[xdreamz]

it's gonna be alright man.... i can tell she's done a real job on you just by the sound of things... it's funny the poster above mentions to "taste her world, don't live in it" because I myself have been going too much into this one girl i'm crazy about's world, and as a result have had completely crazy thoughts about her and have gone beserk.

but today I went out and talked to more girls. made some new prospects. does that mean I'm going to leave the old girl for good? no... i'm still interested in her.. but as you said it, i'm becoming too needy and I need to stop!

i read through your post too quickly man i didn't notice that there was feelings back, i apoligize for sounding like an ass.

 

[Alkali]

Really nice post, Social, I enjoyed it. I guess I'll just have to dip in to my limited reserves of willpower and dig in to my inner apathy. In my defence, however, I do remain composed, externally at least.

Dreamz, to be honest, I didn't even catch that vibe from your original response, I guess I'm not as intuitive as I hoped.

But yeah, I'm expected to make it "official," but once I'm there backing out is no longer an option. But I guess I'll just do it, life is short, and I may as well enjoy it without worrying about the future.

 

[Socialreject]

I guess I'll just have to dip in to my limited reserves of willpower and dig in to my inner apathy. In my defence, however, I do remain composed, externally at least.

Use your pride, your ego, to your advantage. Let the warrior, the hunter do the talking. You're a guy, and unless you're horribly insecure, you have pride and ego, and you can raise your chin and say "i need nothing...I am what i need"...

Think less fluffy, and more testosteron, basically.

Temperance isn't easy, but you can use some of that passion, for other purposes, instead of supressing it...