"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
'Im all in this by myself'
- Thread starter bob246
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
On the other hand, if you play it like you're the only one you can entirely trust, it can be a good move. You wont go through many troubles of people backstabbing you, etc. and you have to trust yourself before you can trust others anyway.
The_Becoming
Don Juan
In todays age it's easy to think the only was to go is to look out for #1 -but when you see people at the extremes of life -as in life or death situations -what really matters is their relationships with others and with God... that's just my observation.
You don't have to blindly trust everyone (especially women you're dating) but trusting people and being a part of something greater than yourself with them is what makes life worth living.
Someone great once said "To believe all men honest is foolish. To believe no men honest is something much, much worse."
Devil_In_Disguise
Don Juan
A human society is one in which each man holds as an absolute: that every man is an end in himself, and that other men are not his pawns, nor is he theirs.
Or, in the words of John Galt,
"I swear -- by my life and by my love of it -- that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Well if you want to be selfish and never have to ask help from anyone. Great idea.Originally posted by bob246
Is that the right mentality to have? 'Im all in this by myself, fuk everyone else'
This is got nothing to do with girls just asking if this is a good mentality to have in life.
Don't come crying to me when your leg is broken and you need help.
No, it is not a good mentality to have. The "fuk everyone else" attitude will leave you lonely and is just a defense mechanism from feeling and thinking properly. Just "fuk" the people who don't deserve your friendship and trust. Sincere, innocent people don't deserve it.Originally posted by bob246
Is that the right mentality to have? 'Im all in this by myself, fuk everyone else'
This is got nothing to do with girls just asking if this is a good mentality to have in life.
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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People have funny habits. You can ask them for help, and in return you help them. But very few, if any, will stick by you when things go completely downhill. And if they do, its usually because they're worse off than you.
My opinion, take it as that, is simple. Help other people, extend a neighbourly hand, but always remember that the bottom line is YOU.
Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
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Agreed.Originally posted by romangod
No, it is not a good mentality to have. The "fuk everyone else" attitude will leave you lonely and is just a defense mechanism from feeling and thinking properly. Just "fuk" the people who don't deserve your friendship and trust. Sincere, innocent people don't deserve it.
I have this "all by myself" attitude, but If there's someone needing help I usually help. You never know when you'll need some, and it's a good way to start new friendships.
You can be "all by yourself" without being arrogant or selfish. Otherwise you'll end up all alone.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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That's the way I like to look at it:
This is MY story.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.