"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I'm about to initiate blno contact. how do you guys suggest I do it?

Shivastorm_88

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Obviously I read the thread. I have to decide between fully going ghost, or telling her I will go. Let me give you the full background, I'll make it brief:

We dated for a year
She broke up, saying she never really felt ready for a LTR, blaming unresolved baggage (which she does have)
We agreed to stay friends
Two weeks later, I realized it was unhealthy, I decided to do no contact. I deleted her off FB.
Tuesday, I saw her at the gym where I rock climb. I ignored her, but she came and talked to me. I was very cold and unresponsive, didn't venture any conversation. She asked me if everything was OK, I simply answered yes. She rubbed my arm, and said it was good seeing me. I didn't even look at her, simply replied "yeah" and went back to my climbing.

A few hours ago, she sent me a text asking me if I was OK, because I didn't seem to good when she saw me. I haven't responded yet.

Here are my options :

1) Go ghost, not talk to her at all, until I one back from my trip (going to Turkey for three weeks, 20th of June till mid July), or
2) in one week, send her a text along the lines of:
"I simply decided to cut all ties. If you eventually feel ready for a serious relationship, call me and we will take it from there. Otherwise, if one day I think its a good idea to get back in touch with you, then I will. Until then, its over"

Finally: We are both in our end twenties. I would still love to get back with her, if and only if she manages to solve her issues. She is definitely long-term material (hot, Masters education, smart, funny, the whole package basically). However, I am done torturing myself.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Shivastorm_88

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24 reads, not one comment? Come on guys, I needed opinions, and pros/con's of each approach!
 
B

BeDJ

Guest
Shivastorm_88 said:
24 reads, not one comment? Come on guys, I needed opinions, and pros/con's of each approach!
Stop being needy. I'm sure you have read the DJ bible, but sh!t. If I can sense your neediness, so can women. Stop being so needy

:)
 

Shivastorm_88

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Any girl that says this to you is NOT LTR material. Go ghost forever.
Ugh see I'm the kind of person that wants closure. Going ghost forever wouldn't offer me said closure. I see what you mean though, but I don't think I can do that. It will always bug me that I wasn't able to finalize things properly.

And besides, despite what you say, I still see her as LTR material. We all have issues, and we all deal differently with them.
 

Mr Wright

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Shivastorm_88 said:
Ugh see I'm the kind of person that wants closure. Going ghost forever wouldn't offer me said closure. I see what you mean though, but I don't think I can do that. It will always bug me that I wasn't able to finalize things properly.

And besides, despite what you say, I still see her as LTR material. We all have issues, and we all deal differently with them.
Get over it, the world isn't perfect, sometimes you won't get closure.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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