"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I'm about to initiate blno contact. how do you guys suggest I do it?

Shivastorm_88

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Obviously I read the thread. I have to decide between fully going ghost, or telling her I will go. Let me give you the full background, I'll make it brief:

We dated for a year
She broke up, saying she never really felt ready for a LTR, blaming unresolved baggage (which she does have)
We agreed to stay friends
Two weeks later, I realized it was unhealthy, I decided to do no contact. I deleted her off FB.
Tuesday, I saw her at the gym where I rock climb. I ignored her, but she came and talked to me. I was very cold and unresponsive, didn't venture any conversation. She asked me if everything was OK, I simply answered yes. She rubbed my arm, and said it was good seeing me. I didn't even look at her, simply replied "yeah" and went back to my climbing.

A few hours ago, she sent me a text asking me if I was OK, because I didn't seem to good when she saw me. I haven't responded yet.

Here are my options :

1) Go ghost, not talk to her at all, until I one back from my trip (going to Turkey for three weeks, 20th of June till mid July), or
2) in one week, send her a text along the lines of:
"I simply decided to cut all ties. If you eventually feel ready for a serious relationship, call me and we will take it from there. Otherwise, if one day I think its a good idea to get back in touch with you, then I will. Until then, its over"

Finally: We are both in our end twenties. I would still love to get back with her, if and only if she manages to solve her issues. She is definitely long-term material (hot, Masters education, smart, funny, the whole package basically). However, I am done torturing myself.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Shivastorm_88

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24 reads, not one comment? Come on guys, I needed opinions, and pros/con's of each approach!
 
B

BeDJ

Guest
Shivastorm_88 said:
24 reads, not one comment? Come on guys, I needed opinions, and pros/con's of each approach!
Stop being needy. I'm sure you have read the DJ bible, but sh!t. If I can sense your neediness, so can women. Stop being so needy

:)
 

Shivastorm_88

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Any girl that says this to you is NOT LTR material. Go ghost forever.
Ugh see I'm the kind of person that wants closure. Going ghost forever wouldn't offer me said closure. I see what you mean though, but I don't think I can do that. It will always bug me that I wasn't able to finalize things properly.

And besides, despite what you say, I still see her as LTR material. We all have issues, and we all deal differently with them.
 

Mr Wright

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Shivastorm_88 said:
Ugh see I'm the kind of person that wants closure. Going ghost forever wouldn't offer me said closure. I see what you mean though, but I don't think I can do that. It will always bug me that I wasn't able to finalize things properly.

And besides, despite what you say, I still see her as LTR material. We all have issues, and we all deal differently with them.
Get over it, the world isn't perfect, sometimes you won't get closure.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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