"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I'm a girl!

Spoiled3289

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Hey if you guys need some advice that you think I can maybe help out with just post them and I'll try to get back to you. . .if you want me to reply faster then just e-mail them to me. . [email protected] I'll try to help the best I can!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Porky

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Okay, I'll humor you.

I like a girl. I want to show her that I like her and I would do anything for her, because she's just the greatest. A real star.

Should I buy her:

1) Candy
2) Flowers
3) A nice card with home made construction paper hearts attached to the inside and homemade caramels to go along with it. I'll write an elaborate poem for her on the inside expressing my love for her, and telling her how if she just wants to be friends I'll feel sad but understand.

PLZ ANSUR
 

The Antichrist_Star

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Originally posted by Porky
Okay, I'll humor you.

I like a girl. I want to show her that I like her and I would do anything for her, because she's just the greatest. A real star.

Should I buy her:

1) Candy
2) Flowers
3) A nice card with home made construction paper hearts attached to the inside and homemade caramels to go along with it. I'll write an elaborate poem for her on the inside expressing my love for her, and telling her how if she just wants to be friends I'll feel sad but understand.

PLZ ANSUR
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAH


....


Okay... I am better now. Thanks Porky. ;)
 

Porky

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Guys, it was a serious question.

Please don't give me any bull**** and harrass me. I want advice from somebody who understands women: a woman! Not you twits.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Spoiled3289

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God you guys respond fast. . .
Aww thanks! lol! I'm not a twit! lol! Ummm. . . .I would say #3 because it's very creative and she'll know its from your heart, not just store bought. Good luck!
 

The Antichrist_Star

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Originally posted by Porky
Guys, it was a serious question.

Please don't give me any bull**** and harrass me. I want advice from somebody who understands women: a woman! Not you twits.
Oh shit, my fault man... I thought that you was just playing around. ;)

And honestly... I would probably go with all three and then play an instrument in front of her house everyday. Chicks dig that mysterious stalker vibe.
 

Porky

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Thanks Spoiled!

I'm talking to her on IM right now. I've been waiting three hours for her to come back. I'm going to make her guess which girl I like so maybe she gets jealous! Then tomorrow I'll spring the card on her and tell her that I like her.

I have to go work on it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Da Joa

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Where's option #4: tap her phone and then blackmail her into going on a date with you?

Trust me guys, its field tested..
 

Spoiled3289

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God you guys are seriously so funny! We need guys at my school who are half as funny as you guys!!! lol!
 

TyTe`EyEs

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Porky, that is the funniest thing i've heard all day.
 

kevbo

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oh my god. i haven't laughed that hard since i was a little girl.
 

MidwestFreek

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he also forgot #5...ask all her friends to find out if she likes u..and then call her every night and beg her to hang out...and then find her locker and tape a big sign on it sayin "I LOVE YOU" and then when she wonders who its from...pretend like u have no idea...the phone tap isnt drastic enough, you need to get her attention...try telling her your darkest secrets in hope that itll bring you closer...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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hey, umm I need advice. Umm well you see. I like this one girl and I don't know how to find out how to get her to like me, what should I do, and umm what are some signs that she likes me?

oh and, whats the best way to steal a 5th of Jack Daniel's from the Liqour Store?
 

MidwestFreek

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Originally posted by Dimebag_Darrell
hey, umm I need advice. Umm well you see. I like this one girl and I don't know how to find out how to get her to like me, what should I do, and umm what are some signs that she likes me?

oh and, whats the best way to steal a 5th of Jack Daniel's from the Liqour Store?

A. Theres information on this all over the site. Read the main website, every section of the forum and sign up for the newsletter.

B. I wouldn't know. Thats a good way to get your as tossed...in jail. You won't need to worry about that girl. Bubba won't need your DJ techniques, it'll be love at first sight.
 

VIVAlasVEGASBaby

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Originally posted by MidwestFreek
A. Theres information on this all over the site. Read the main website, every section of the forum and sign up for the newsletter.

B. I wouldn't know. Thats a good way to get your as tossed...in jail. You won't need to worry about that girl. Bubba won't need your DJ techniques, it'll be love at first sight.
lol....
 
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Gotta love porky humor... gave me a nice long laugh, funniest thing I have read on this website in a long time (especially if she was serious with her response).
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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