I'm a fvcking child

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#21
I think a lot of that stems from the mistaken idea that we men can and should be universally attractive to women, just as women can be universally attractive to men. The fact it that every single one of us will only appeal to a subset of women.

Therefore, it is absolutely inevitable that most women will not be attracted to us. Therefore, those felt “rejections” should be statistically insignificant to us.

One of the biggest sources of pain for men is the illusion that we can be universally attractive. This is utterly impossible. The opposite is not true for women. They can in fact be universally attractive.

We must understand the numbers (which are inevitable) and work them to our advantage. It’s a lot like sales being a numbers game... I need to talk to X amount of prospects to make one sale...

However, a man can approach perhaps a 50% attractiveness rate if he really gets his act together. That’s because before he has it together, he is invisible to upper echelon women. Once he becomes visible he realizes that 50% is total abundance.
I find this to be totally off base. There was a time in my life when I was young and had what is known as the irrational self confidence. EVERY chick I came across was attracted, and even if they tried to hide it, they couldn't for Long. Those days are long gone, but still there isnt a girl out there that doesnt find me handsome. I just dont have the confidence i once had to effortlessly get any girl I want like back then.
 

mrgoodstuff

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#22
I find this to be totally off base. There was a time in my life when I was young and had what is known as the irrational self confidence. EVERY chick I came across was attracted, and even if they tried to hide it, they couldn't for Long. Those days are long gone, but still there isnt a girl out there that doesnt find me handsome. I just dont have the confidence i once had to effortlessly get any girl I want like back then.
Do you think ots depressed because your waiting on them to validate you?
 
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#23
Do you think ots depressed because your waiting on them to validate you?
Yes I think that has something to do with it.
Back in those days I was in the Marines and I spent ALL my free time drinking with and socializing with all kinds of college women. I truly had an IDGAF attitude. I always spoke my mind and women's beauty never affected my frame. I had a lot of game that I didn't even realize was "game" until I read MM years later. The thought that I wasn't the coolest, funniest, smartest guy in the room just didn't compute with me. Hot ass women would throw themselves at me and I just didn't care. I was very young in those days and life hadnt sufficiently beaten me down yet.
 

ubercat

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#24
Mate I struggled with your wall of text. But I suspect these two points are relevant.

1. Like howie said getting numbers is pure sales funnel. Why would you be upset about unqualified Prospect?

2. Move the focus from the girl to the process. Men are good at planning and tactics. Go after different niches of girl and try different approaches. Have fun with it and remember it is a game it's all there for your self amusement.

That will give you the proper zero fux attitude with no mental gymnastics

And re the net chicks. They are swamped with messages. she's not ignoring your message she's responding to all the chads. I used to do really well online but I'm pretty sure it's turned to sh1t. If I put up a profile I would go passive. tweak the photos once in a while and make new accounts all the time. Once or twice a week bulk message the chicks who message you first. I don't think it's worth more than a couple of hours of your week these days. Any of the guys who slay it online and aren't good looking feel free to correct me.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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#25
Yes I think that has something to do with it.
Back in those days I was in the Marines and I spent ALL my free time drinking with and socializing with all kinds of college women. I truly had an IDGAF attitude. I always spoke my mind and women's beauty never affected my frame. I had a lot of game that I didn't even realize was "game" until I read MM years later. The thought that I wasn't the coolest, funniest, smartest guy in the room just didn't compute with me. Hot ass women would throw themselves at me and I just didn't care. I was very young in those days and life hadnt sufficiently beaten me down yet.
You probably had bros you hung with too. So you didn't need the females attention. You did it for fun.
 

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#28
I find this to be totally off base. There was a time in my life when I was young and had what is known as the irrational self confidence. EVERY chick I came across was attracted, and even if they tried to hide it, they couldn't for Long. Those days are long gone, but still there isnt a girl out there that doesnt find me handsome. I just dont have the confidence i once had to effortlessly get any girl I want like back then.
Trust me, EVERY girl you came across wasn't attracted to you. At that time in your life you thought this was the case, and now that you're older, you're tapping into that outdated, childish memory.

You're not able to get any girl you want now because part of you has recognized the reality that you can't be universally attractive, while the other part is living in the past, childish belief system.

You yourself called your youthful self-confidence irrational. You had a huge rose-colored filter in front of your eyes (your brain, really), and that filter is cracking. The reality is that your idea of "handsomeness" is NOT universally attractive. Women simply don't operate that way.

You "effortlessly" got the subset of girls who hung out where you hung out... girls of the same mindset as you. Girls who liked to be where you liked to be, and when you liked to be there. The majority of girls were elsewhere, doing other things, and having other interests.

Women accept or reject the whole package. Looks are a weak foot in the door. Once that foot is in the door, you've got a millisecond to make the "sale" with your personality. In that millisecond, she decides whether you are her type or not.

Why is it that a guy like you, who describes himself as handsome, has lost his confidence, while I, who rates himself a 7 or maybe on a good day 7.5, have no trouble at all with attraction, no doubts nor lack of confidence? It's because I have thrown out the false perception of universal attraction and instead decided to focus on the plethora of women who give me open invitations with their eyes, faces, and body language.

When you were a kid, your world was small (even though that didn't seem true) and girls were more about looks in terms of attraction toward men. At your age, the world should look a lot bigger, with lots more variation, and you should realize that looks plays a very small (but not insignificant) part in attraction once women mature.

From whence comes your diminished confidence? I would submit that it's because you have noticed that you are rejected by a certain percentage of women although you have perhaps not become fully consciously aware of that yet.

The mythical philosophy of "universal male attraction" unleashes a world of hurt and confusion among men. It comes from the media. In fact, this myth could be the single biggest destroyer of confidence as men get older.

I advise men to cut bait, get out of the middle of the ocean and find a nice little cove where the fish are literally jumping into their boats.
 

guru1000

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#29
DieHard said:
I guess this especially goes for women who perceive your Sexual Market Value as higher than theirs. They can get insecure if you act too aloof, thinking: "This guy can get plenty of girls, why would he want to be with me? He doesn't even care when I withdraw my affection or attention from him. He probably perceives me as just a toy to pass his time with and will drop me as soon as he finds a prettier girl"

Therefor, they will try to make a dent in your armor, so to speak. And when they succeed at that, it's a sign to them that you like them. Then they'll feel happy instead of insecure and this allows them to open up to you and let down the wall around their feelings, so they'll actually get closer to you. I guess this is what guru1000 calls beta-game, correct?
Yes, I get this with some 7s only but hardly ever with 8s and never with 9s. It was puzzling at first, but when your SMV supersedes theirs and you talk a big game like I do, they know you look at them strictly for pump-and-dump and nothing serious.

The difference here though is I never need to double text. They will always respond to my text. When I say beta-game what I mean is if conversing with a 7, I normally get very dismissive with my words and my tone. I don't do this purposefully, but rather I'm just not that interested in them so I don't even really feel like trying and expect them to do all the work. Only here in this context, and in reference to beta-game, do I consciously have to get my myself more interested and talk to them as I would to a 9, a girl on my level, so they don't feel demeaned by me.

However, they will always respond to my text, but just return the same enthusiasm I give to them.

What you are encountering is low IL, and that's why you seem confused. The reason they respond when you double text is because they feel guilty. I do the same to girls I'm not interested in whom I ghost. Sometimes they will double- or triple-text me and then I respond out of respect or amusement but I have little or no interest in them. I might even meet them after they triple-text but it's strictly for amusement and maybe sex, but I have really no interest in anything further.

Diehard, what you need to learn to do is find women whom have high IL in you, and these are not women who ignore your initial texts. To distinguish between the two: Women with high IL will always respond to your text and if they don't, it generally means they have low interest.
 
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