"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I'm a C&F guy, but I freeze up when talking to girls in person

skinnydart

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Normally I'm a pretty funny/sarcastic guy, with most of the people I hang with. Like I don't open my mouth and say anything to my parents unless it is sarcastic (we don't get along), and I usually don't have trouble busting on my friends / co-workers either.

And even when it comes to girls, when I'm laying on my bed, headphones on, surfing the internet wirelessly, 1:00am, talking with chicks on AIM, I can be pretty funny too, but I totally freeze up when I'm actually talking to them in person. Maybe it's just because I'm out of my comfort zone or whatever, or because on AIM I have a few seconds to think of a responce.

I know they say don't use AIM, but for me, I can talk for hours with one girl on aim, busting on her and being totally C&F, but then in person, I just end up going back to boring questions like "so how was ur day?", I think I just get nervous or something.

Do any of u have the same problem or suggestions?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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LADawg49

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Hey man, I can relate very much to u. When I talk to girls in Chat rooms/AIM/Yahoo/MSN , I can easily be C+F and all but in real life I just get nervous and don't have that same confidence. I also can number close with ease online but face to face, I get a little nervous doing so. Any advice yall could give me to get over that nervousness?
 

Alpine

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Accept you're going to get rejected more often than not. That it's an experiment rather than a do or die thing. And that the more you do it the more the fear and nervousness goes away and there's no other way of getting rid of it.

Will that help?
 

HypeR

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Originally posted by LADawg49
Hey man, I can relate very much to u. When I talk to girls in Chat rooms/AIM/Yahoo/MSN , I can easily be C+F and all but in real life I just get nervous and don't have that same confidence. I also can number close with ease online but face to face, I get a little nervous doing so. Any advice yall could give me to get over that nervousness?

Step away from your computer and talk to alot of girls. The nervousness will decrease/ go away over time then.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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skinnydart

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Accept you're going to get rejected more often than not
No, I don't have any problems calling a girl and asking her out, the problem is when I'm actually with them, all the C&F comments and responces just seem to be non-exisistant and I can't think of anything but boring stuff to talk about. The reason why is not because I'm afraid of being rejected (I'm already on a date with her).
 

Alpine

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Originally posted by skinnydart
No, I don't have any problems calling a girl and asking her out, the problem is when I'm actually with them, all the C&F comments and responces just seem to be non-exisistant and I can't think of anything but boring stuff to talk about. The reason why is not because I'm afraid of being rejected (I'm already on a date with her).
Either you have poor taste in women who are conversationally inept, OR you are self conscious enough for it to put you off your stride.

My theory still applies, you know that you can get rejected if you say something that's dumb or don't impress her enough.

At least give this some thought before dismissing it, there aren't many other reasons why this happens.
 

sfalexi

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Unfortunately, I have the same problem. My buddies talk to me and they say, "Man. If you just talked to them like you talk to us, they'd be ALL over you! You're funny as ****!"

But oh well. One day it'll be easier for me to hit on girls. I just have to pretend they have a schlong when I go to hit on them and I'll do fine.

Wait a second . . .

. . . . I mean . . ..
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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