I'm 55 A year divorced from a 25 year serial cheater. Need advice.

StillSearching

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
34
Reaction score
39
Age
55
I've been through Rollo's book. I having a hard time deciding if spinning plates is a good idea for someone my age? I currently have a GF that's very nice and sweet. She's 50 looks 35 and is very reserved and very little sexual experience. She has been alone for 20+ years, has her own house and has a decent job. Her SMV is about 7 a little overweight, but that does not bother me. She has been with very few men and I've had to teach her some sexual acts. She's very old fashion and submissive. Treats me like a king! I'm 55 in very good shape, have a good job and could pull younger women, but I'm worried that younger women would be too difficult to keep up with.

My question is, is it a good idea to get into a LTR at my age with this GF or should a spin plates and hope to find a better one? Should the rules alter as a man gets into his mid fifties?
 

Augustus_McCrae

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2012
Messages
773
Reaction score
753
I've been through Rollo's book. I having a hard time deciding if spinning plates is a good idea for someone my age? I currently have a GF that's very nice and sweet. She's 50 looks 35 and is very reserved and very little sexual experience. She has been alone for 20+ years, has her own house and has a decent job. Her SMV is about 7 a little overweight, but that does not bother me. She has been with very few men and I've had to teach her some sexual acts. She's very old fashion and submissive. Treats me like a king! I'm 55 in very good shape, have a good job and could pull younger women, but I'm worried that younger women would be too difficult to keep up with.

My question is, is it a good idea to get into a LTR at my age with this GF or should a spin plates and hope to find a better one? Should the rules alter as a man gets into his mid fifties?
Depends on what you want. After being married so long, do you want to experience some variety with women?

And mid fifties is not too old to spin plates.

-Augustus-
 

SeekerOfTheWay

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2019
Messages
337
Reaction score
214
Depends on what you want. After being married so long, do you want to experience some variety with women?

And mid fifties is not too old to spin plates.

-Augustus-
For sure. I have been seeing a man who is 57 for over a year. He HAD an LTR, 3 other GFs and other more casual relationships. He was killing it for a long tine. Though he is also exhausted and seems to be whittling down his harem (mostly they are leaving after years). He has been spinning plates for over 30 years. I am his youngest at 39 and he isn’t as energetic as me but i am okay with that because i am not a party girl, i prefer quiet and he has most of the qualities i value. Sexually i am sometimes frustrated with him because he needs a day to recover (but i have other plates).

One thing i will warn about spinning plates at that age. Your options will be less. You won’t be able to pull younger chicks because they get sick of being “one of many” and go find someone who either gives them more attention or is younger than you. This is from experience. My older plate spinner is losing a lot of plates as he ages as they drop off for a more “serious “ relationship. That path is not for the faint if heart as you age. He also seems to be getting desperate to keep his current plates and has gone to kind of extreme lengths.He will never break up with me and i know this. this gives me the power. He is realizing he is becoming more alone and that he needs to work to hold into his current primary GF and more serious “plates”.

Other than that, have a blast! I think for someone recently divorced it’s good to do!
 

StillSearching

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
34
Reaction score
39
Age
55
Depends on what you want. After being married so long, do you want to experience some variety with women?

And mid fifties is not too old to spin plates.

-Augustus-
When I was in my 20's I played in a rock band in the 80's. I've had a lot of variety. I'm a little worried that at my age "The Rules" should not be followed so specifically. I'd like a more sexual woman, but I can look back at my ex wife and see issues with that too. You know the ole...Can't turn a ***** into a housewife. I wonder if I the new "housewife type" I have will become more sexual over time? Intimacy is GREAT though. I guess I'm here because I'm looking for advice from like minded older men.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
10,095
Reaction score
5,139
Location
DFW, TX
Keep the stable babe who wants to please you and learn you. Most wont treat you like a king. Its great for your image. You can play a little on the side if you absolutely need to. Be discreet and take good care of her. Women like her are NOT a dime a dozen.
 

StillSearching

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
34
Reaction score
39
Age
55
Keep the stable babe who wants to please you and learn you. Most wont treat you like a king. Its great for your image. You can play a little on the side if you absolutely need to. Be discreet and take good care of her. Women like her are NOT a dime a dozen.
She really has only one friend. How important is that? It seems to worry me that she has no real outlet but me to listen to her BS.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
10,095
Reaction score
5,139
Location
DFW, TX
She really has only one friend. How important is that? It seems to worry me that she has no real outlet but me to listen to her BS.
What is the bs? Have you wondered why she has one real friend?
 
Last edited:

Spaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
6,993
Reaction score
5,380
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
For sure. I have been seeing a man who is 57 for over a year. He HAD an LTR, 3 other GFs and other more casual relationships. He was killing it for a long tine. Though he is also exhausted and seems to be whittling down his harem (mostly they are leaving after years). He has been spinning plates for over 30 years. I am his youngest at 39 and he isn’t as energetic as me but i am okay with that because i am not a party girl, i prefer quiet and he has most of the qualities i value. Sexually i am sometimes frustrated with him because he needs a day to recover (but i have other plates).

One thing i will warn about spinning plates at that age. Your options will be less. You won’t be able to pull younger chicks because they get sick of being “one of many” and go find someone who either gives them more attention or is younger than you. This is from experience. My older plate spinner is losing a lot of plates as he ages as they drop off for a more “serious “ relationship. That path is not for the faint if heart as you age. He also seems to be getting desperate to keep his current plates and has gone to kind of extreme lengths.He will never break up with me and i know this. this gives me the power. He is realizing he is becoming more alone and that he needs to work to hold into his current primary GF and more serious “plates”.

Other than that, have a blast! I think for someone recently divorced it’s good to do!
Looks like I will need to settle down when I'm 55 haha

Aside to OP,

As I've aged into my 40's, it's not so much abt sexual stamina or even youthful sexiness of women that's the problem but it's now more towards how women in my life are able to amuse me.

Amusing as in little insignificant stuff, like gardening, her pet fish or dog, they way she projects herself naturally, her voice, her body language, her facial expressions, her exaggerated stories, etc. those tiny little bits that's a total opposite of me.

I would gravitate towards women that has overt signs of femininity since I've noticed through experience that those are the women that has traits which amuses me the most.
 

StillSearching

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
34
Reaction score
39
Age
55
Looks like I will need to settle down when I'm 55 haha

Aside to OP,

As I've aged into my 40's, it's not so much abt sexual stamina or even youthful sexiness of women that's the problem but it's now more towards how women in my life are able to amuse me.

Amusing as in little insignificant stuff, like gardening, her pet fish or dog, they way she projects herself naturally, her voice, her body language, her facial expressions, her exaggerated stories, etc. those tiny little bits that's a total opposite of me.

I would gravitate towards women that has overt signs of femininity since I've noticed through experience that those are the women that has traits which amuses me the most.
This describes her completely.
 

StillSearching

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
34
Reaction score
39
Age
55
What is the bs? Have you wondered why she has one real friend?
You know just how she hates work, how she's too fat, etc...
She does not have many friends because she is very shy and will not initiate conversation with anyone but me, when I'm around. She said the last guy (3 years ago) left her because she was "Too Sweet". I think it was because she was completely inexperienced sexually. Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?

I have since taught her the whole nine yards. She has no idea how to initiate sex properly, yet.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
10,095
Reaction score
5,139
Location
DFW, TX
You know just how she hates work, how she's too fat, etc...
She does not have many friends because she is very shy and will not initiate conversation with anyone but me, when I'm around. She said the last guy (3 years ago) left her because she was "Too Sweet". I think it was because she was completely inexperienced sexually. Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?

I have since taught her the whole nine yards. She has no idea how to initiate sex properly, yet.
Id rather teach them especially if they are anbitious to learn and willing to please. You can teach her to empower herself and replace the complaints with positiv3 action taken towards each goal.
 

Jager

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
195
Reaction score
206
Age
28
You know just how she hates work, how she's too fat, etc...
She does not have many friends because she is very shy and will not initiate conversation with anyone but me, when I'm around. She said the last guy (3 years ago) left her because she was "Too Sweet". I think it was because she was completely inexperienced sexually. Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?

I have since taught her the whole nine yards. She has no idea how to initiate sex properly, yet.
I don’t buy it. She knows her way around, especially at 50 and living alone for 20 years. Make no mistake - women, ANY woman, is a genius social being. I assume she told you she hasn’t had many men, so you’re going on nothing but her word.

You should be pounding18-20 year olds, SMV 9’s and 10’s. At your age, they’d be lining up to fill your schedule.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
5,434
Reaction score
1,582
Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?
Strong father figures are great and what I'd put my money on, BUT the best evidence you have is in front of your own two eyes. You're not dating a statistic. I had two exes who were raised fatherless and they were polar opposites when it came to drama, maturity, fidelity and the like. Besides, if she's 50, she probably cycled through her daddy issues in her 20s, lol. I would hope she has her shyt together.

Just take the blinders off, watch how she acts towards you, and take her talk about exes and experience with a huge grain of salt, all women gild the lily when it comes to their past.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,656
Reaction score
1,018
Location
The Dirty South
I fail to see your problem, OP.

It's pretty simple and you need to answer two questions:

1) Do you WANT to f*ck other women?
2) If yes, are you attached to your girlfriend in such a way where this would be difficult?

If yes to #2, you'll likely have to break up with her. That's just the respectful thing to do. But if you just see her now and then and she doesn't hang out at your house every day, seems you could date others and her at the same time.

But bottom line if you have a good thing, stick with it. Don't spin plates simply 'because'. That makes no sense.
 

StillSearching

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
34
Reaction score
39
Age
55
I don’t buy it. She knows her way around, especially at 50 and living alone for 20 years. Make no mistake - women, ANY woman, is a genius social being. I assume she told you she hasn’t had many men, so you’re going on nothing but her word.

You should be pounding18-20 year olds, SMV 9’s and 10’s. At your age, they’d be lining up to fill your schedule.
Dude I'm 55.....that's 5 years younger than my daughter.
 

SeekerOfTheWay

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2019
Messages
337
Reaction score
214
Dude I'm 55.....that's 5 years younger than my daughter.
He’s in his 20s. These younger men have that fantasy of being “older” (50+) and dating 20s like it’s some great prize. Lol. They don’t know the perils and pitfalls of it. This is coming from someone who used to exclusively date older men and married one at 18 (he was 44). It’s not all that glamorous for either party! i can tell stories and makes lists of why those relationships don’t work even as a plate.
 

RickTheToad

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
2,224
Reaction score
1,236
Location
Bridgeport, CT
I've been through Rollo's book. I having a hard time deciding if spinning plates is a good idea for someone my age? I currently have a GF that's very nice and sweet. She's 50 looks 35 and is very reserved and very little sexual experience. She has been alone for 20+ years, has her own house and has a decent job. Her SMV is about 7 a little overweight, but that does not bother me. She has been with very few men and I've had to teach her some sexual acts. She's very old fashion and submissive. Treats me like a king! I'm 55 in very good shape, have a good job and could pull younger women, but I'm worried that younger women would be too difficult to keep up with.

My question is, is it a good idea to get into a LTR at my age with this GF or should a spin plates and hope to find a better one? Should the rules alter as a man gets into his mid fifties?
Few things. One, you do what's best for you;not her. Two, if she treats you well, stick with it until tides turn. Three, expect ladies to act and be ladies, nothing more or less. Four, take what she says with a grain of salt. Remember, it's not what a person (male or female) says, it's what they do. Actions, at any age, speak louder than words. Four, lotta STDs. Stay safe. Both get tested and use your brain between your ears for decision making; not your penis.

Aside from that, have fun and experience life!
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
2,865
Reaction score
1,812
Age
29
If you have a gf, you already are in a ltr lol

If i went through a divorce i would be crushing everything thin young and attractive
 
Top