"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I'm 55 A year divorced from a 25 year serial cheater. Need advice.

StillSearching

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I've been through Rollo's book. I having a hard time deciding if spinning plates is a good idea for someone my age? I currently have a GF that's very nice and sweet. She's 50 looks 35 and is very reserved and very little sexual experience. She has been alone for 20+ years, has her own house and has a decent job. Her SMV is about 7 a little overweight, but that does not bother me. She has been with very few men and I've had to teach her some sexual acts. She's very old fashion and submissive. Treats me like a king! I'm 55 in very good shape, have a good job and could pull younger women, but I'm worried that younger women would be too difficult to keep up with.

My question is, is it a good idea to get into a LTR at my age with this GF or should a spin plates and hope to find a better one? Should the rules alter as a man gets into his mid fifties?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Augustus_McCrae

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I've been through Rollo's book. I having a hard time deciding if spinning plates is a good idea for someone my age? I currently have a GF that's very nice and sweet. She's 50 looks 35 and is very reserved and very little sexual experience. She has been alone for 20+ years, has her own house and has a decent job. Her SMV is about 7 a little overweight, but that does not bother me. She has been with very few men and I've had to teach her some sexual acts. She's very old fashion and submissive. Treats me like a king! I'm 55 in very good shape, have a good job and could pull younger women, but I'm worried that younger women would be too difficult to keep up with.

My question is, is it a good idea to get into a LTR at my age with this GF or should a spin plates and hope to find a better one? Should the rules alter as a man gets into his mid fifties?
Depends on what you want. After being married so long, do you want to experience some variety with women?

And mid fifties is not too old to spin plates.

-Augustus-
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Depends on what you want. After being married so long, do you want to experience some variety with women?

And mid fifties is not too old to spin plates.

-Augustus-
For sure. I have been seeing a man who is 57 for over a year. He HAD an LTR, 3 other GFs and other more casual relationships. He was killing it for a long tine. Though he is also exhausted and seems to be whittling down his harem (mostly they are leaving after years). He has been spinning plates for over 30 years. I am his youngest at 39 and he isn’t as energetic as me but i am okay with that because i am not a party girl, i prefer quiet and he has most of the qualities i value. Sexually i am sometimes frustrated with him because he needs a day to recover (but i have other plates).

One thing i will warn about spinning plates at that age. Your options will be less. You won’t be able to pull younger chicks because they get sick of being “one of many” and go find someone who either gives them more attention or is younger than you. This is from experience. My older plate spinner is losing a lot of plates as he ages as they drop off for a more “serious “ relationship. That path is not for the faint if heart as you age. He also seems to be getting desperate to keep his current plates and has gone to kind of extreme lengths.He will never break up with me and i know this. this gives me the power. He is realizing he is becoming more alone and that he needs to work to hold into his current primary GF and more serious “plates”.

Other than that, have a blast! I think for someone recently divorced it’s good to do!
 

StillSearching

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Depends on what you want. After being married so long, do you want to experience some variety with women?

And mid fifties is not too old to spin plates.

-Augustus-
When I was in my 20's I played in a rock band in the 80's. I've had a lot of variety. I'm a little worried that at my age "The Rules" should not be followed so specifically. I'd like a more sexual woman, but I can look back at my ex wife and see issues with that too. You know the ole...Can't turn a ***** into a housewife. I wonder if I the new "housewife type" I have will become more sexual over time? Intimacy is GREAT though. I guess I'm here because I'm looking for advice from like minded older men.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Keep the stable babe who wants to please you and learn you. Most wont treat you like a king. Its great for your image. You can play a little on the side if you absolutely need to. Be discreet and take good care of her. Women like her are NOT a dime a dozen.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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StillSearching

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Keep the stable babe who wants to please you and learn you. Most wont treat you like a king. Its great for your image. You can play a little on the side if you absolutely need to. Be discreet and take good care of her. Women like her are NOT a dime a dozen.
She really has only one friend. How important is that? It seems to worry me that she has no real outlet but me to listen to her BS.
 

mrgoodstuff

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She really has only one friend. How important is that? It seems to worry me that she has no real outlet but me to listen to her BS.
What is the bs? Have you wondered why she has one real friend?
 
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Spaz

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For sure. I have been seeing a man who is 57 for over a year. He HAD an LTR, 3 other GFs and other more casual relationships. He was killing it for a long tine. Though he is also exhausted and seems to be whittling down his harem (mostly they are leaving after years). He has been spinning plates for over 30 years. I am his youngest at 39 and he isn’t as energetic as me but i am okay with that because i am not a party girl, i prefer quiet and he has most of the qualities i value. Sexually i am sometimes frustrated with him because he needs a day to recover (but i have other plates).

One thing i will warn about spinning plates at that age. Your options will be less. You won’t be able to pull younger chicks because they get sick of being “one of many” and go find someone who either gives them more attention or is younger than you. This is from experience. My older plate spinner is losing a lot of plates as he ages as they drop off for a more “serious “ relationship. That path is not for the faint if heart as you age. He also seems to be getting desperate to keep his current plates and has gone to kind of extreme lengths.He will never break up with me and i know this. this gives me the power. He is realizing he is becoming more alone and that he needs to work to hold into his current primary GF and more serious “plates”.

Other than that, have a blast! I think for someone recently divorced it’s good to do!
Looks like I will need to settle down when I'm 55 haha

Aside to OP,

As I've aged into my 40's, it's not so much abt sexual stamina or even youthful sexiness of women that's the problem but it's now more towards how women in my life are able to amuse me.

Amusing as in little insignificant stuff, like gardening, her pet fish or dog, they way she projects herself naturally, her voice, her body language, her facial expressions, her exaggerated stories, etc. those tiny little bits that's a total opposite of me.

I would gravitate towards women that has overt signs of femininity since I've noticed through experience that those are the women that has traits which amuses me the most.
 

StillSearching

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Looks like I will need to settle down when I'm 55 haha

Aside to OP,

As I've aged into my 40's, it's not so much abt sexual stamina or even youthful sexiness of women that's the problem but it's now more towards how women in my life are able to amuse me.

Amusing as in little insignificant stuff, like gardening, her pet fish or dog, they way she projects herself naturally, her voice, her body language, her facial expressions, her exaggerated stories, etc. those tiny little bits that's a total opposite of me.

I would gravitate towards women that has overt signs of femininity since I've noticed through experience that those are the women that has traits which amuses me the most.
This describes her completely.
 

StillSearching

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What is the bs? Have you wondered why she has one real friend?
You know just how she hates work, how she's too fat, etc...
She does not have many friends because she is very shy and will not initiate conversation with anyone but me, when I'm around. She said the last guy (3 years ago) left her because she was "Too Sweet". I think it was because she was completely inexperienced sexually. Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?

I have since taught her the whole nine yards. She has no idea how to initiate sex properly, yet.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

mrgoodstuff

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You know just how she hates work, how she's too fat, etc...
She does not have many friends because she is very shy and will not initiate conversation with anyone but me, when I'm around. She said the last guy (3 years ago) left her because she was "Too Sweet". I think it was because she was completely inexperienced sexually. Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?

I have since taught her the whole nine yards. She has no idea how to initiate sex properly, yet.
Id rather teach them especially if they are anbitious to learn and willing to please. You can teach her to empower herself and replace the complaints with positiv3 action taken towards each goal.
 

Jager

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You know just how she hates work, how she's too fat, etc...
She does not have many friends because she is very shy and will not initiate conversation with anyone but me, when I'm around. She said the last guy (3 years ago) left her because she was "Too Sweet". I think it was because she was completely inexperienced sexually. Should I be concerned that her father died when she was 8? I've read "Don't date women without strong father figures"?

I have since taught her the whole nine yards. She has no idea how to initiate sex properly, yet.
I don’t buy it. She knows her way around, especially at 50 and living alone for 20 years. Make no mistake - women, ANY woman, is a genius social being. I assume she told you she hasn’t had many men, so you’re going on nothing but her word.

You should be pounding18-20 year olds, SMV 9’s and 10’s. At your age, they’d be lining up to fill your schedule.
 

speed dawg

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I fail to see your problem, OP.

It's pretty simple and you need to answer two questions:

1) Do you WANT to f*ck other women?
2) If yes, are you attached to your girlfriend in such a way where this would be difficult?

If yes to #2, you'll likely have to break up with her. That's just the respectful thing to do. But if you just see her now and then and she doesn't hang out at your house every day, seems you could date others and her at the same time.

But bottom line if you have a good thing, stick with it. Don't spin plates simply 'because'. That makes no sense.
 

StillSearching

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I don’t buy it. She knows her way around, especially at 50 and living alone for 20 years. Make no mistake - women, ANY woman, is a genius social being. I assume she told you she hasn’t had many men, so you’re going on nothing but her word.

You should be pounding18-20 year olds, SMV 9’s and 10’s. At your age, they’d be lining up to fill your schedule.
Dude I'm 55.....that's 5 years younger than my daughter.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SeekerOfTheWay

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Dude I'm 55.....that's 5 years younger than my daughter.
He’s in his 20s. These younger men have that fantasy of being “older” (50+) and dating 20s like it’s some great prize. Lol. They don’t know the perils and pitfalls of it. This is coming from someone who used to exclusively date older men and married one at 18 (he was 44). It’s not all that glamorous for either party! i can tell stories and makes lists of why those relationships don’t work even as a plate.
 

RickTheToad

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I've been through Rollo's book. I having a hard time deciding if spinning plates is a good idea for someone my age? I currently have a GF that's very nice and sweet. She's 50 looks 35 and is very reserved and very little sexual experience. She has been alone for 20+ years, has her own house and has a decent job. Her SMV is about 7 a little overweight, but that does not bother me. She has been with very few men and I've had to teach her some sexual acts. She's very old fashion and submissive. Treats me like a king! I'm 55 in very good shape, have a good job and could pull younger women, but I'm worried that younger women would be too difficult to keep up with.

My question is, is it a good idea to get into a LTR at my age with this GF or should a spin plates and hope to find a better one? Should the rules alter as a man gets into his mid fifties?
Few things. One, you do what's best for you;not her. Two, if she treats you well, stick with it until tides turn. Three, expect ladies to act and be ladies, nothing more or less. Four, take what she says with a grain of salt. Remember, it's not what a person (male or female) says, it's what they do. Actions, at any age, speak louder than words. Four, lotta STDs. Stay safe. Both get tested and use your brain between your ears for decision making; not your penis.

Aside from that, have fun and experience life!
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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If you have a gf, you already are in a ltr lol

If i went through a divorce i would be crushing everything thin young and attractive
 

Spaz

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Few things. One, you do what's best for you;not her. Two, if she treats you well, stick with it until tides turn. Three, expect ladies to act and be ladies, nothing more or less. Four, take what she says with a grain of salt. Remember, it's not what a person (male or female) says, it's what they do. Actions, at any age, speak louder than words. Four, lotta STDs. Stay safe. Both get tested and use your brain between your ears for decision making; not your penis.

Aside from that, have fun and experience life!
Impressive !
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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