Ignoring her

[Aestheticly]

I have a tendancy to ignore a girl (that I know) if they're standing next to me and if I have interest in them. I, for some reason, have this mindset of thinking "they have to earn a conversation with me." I have no problem with going up to a girl; it's just that if they're near me, I will usually refuse to initiate a conversation with them, but I will carry on with one if they initiate first. If they're in our group's circle of conversation, I won't talk to them at all unless they direct the conversation towards me themselves or they purposely stand next to or look at me inorder to gain my attention. Is this a good thing that I'm doing by not giving them my attention or would it be better for me to just turn around and start talking to them.

It's not like I completely ignore them all the time. I'll come from behind and surprise them with a hug. I guess I just don't want to seem like they're controlling me by having myself talking to them instead of them talking to me.

 

[Aestheticly]

3 days later and still no one knows?

 

[DogFashionDisco]

I don't think it's the best idea to ignore them, cause then you might come off as an ass. And nobody likes an ass.

But I can see where you're coming at. I would say sometimes you should actually talk to them at, while other times, don't. Since you're giving them attention at one point, then taking it away. It'll confuse them. Making them wonder "why isn't this guy talking to me, is it something I did? Aren't my looks attracting him?" And so on.

 

[shydude]

By now they probably think u r GAY..

 

[Aestheticly]

By now they probably think u r GAY..

I hope you were being sarcastic. If you read my first post, you'd notice that I don't completely shut them off. I just don't associate with them unless they are the first to engage.

 

[Subjective]

The other day I was takling to this girl, and every few minutes I'd shut the conversation off, while still standing beside her, to watch what was going on around me (a basketball game). Then after not talking for like 30 sceonds she'd yawn pretty loudly, I think it was to get me to start takling again, so I'd wait 30 more and talk to her some more. Then she kept rubbing against me, not sure if it were accidental or not, but I said "Man, can't you keep your hands off of me? Why are you rubbing against me so much?" then she smiled coyly and laughed. Anyway I'm not sure what this has to do with your post, but I'd talk to them once in awhile.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Hmmm.... I would say if you are more than pleased with your harem of women to take this approah, but if you arent then start approaching. This reminds me of myself so I can speak a little better on the topic. You have to ask yourself "Am I not approaching because I am the King...or because I am afraid of rejections"

Anyways you should also think of the potential girls you arent seeing because they are too shy to approach. It is your job to meet these girls

 

[Aestheticly]

Hmmm.... I would say if you are more than pleased with your harem of women to take this approah, but if you arent then start approaching. This reminds me of myself so I can speak a little better on the topic. You have to ask yourself "Am I not approaching because I am the King...or because I am afraid of rejections"

Anyways you should also think of the potential girls you arent seeing because they are too shy to approach. It is your job to meet these girls

Good advice. Thanks.

 

[applaya]

"I, for some reason, have this mindset of thinking "they have to earn a conversation with me."
-wrong mindset to have man.

son't smother them with attention constantly but there is no reason that you can't start a convorsation with them. It's foolish not to. If you see them a few times a week wait 2 or 3 weeks and get numbers and ask them out.

"I'll come from behind and surprise them with a hug."
-unless your close with them that's creepy. don't do it.

I guess I just don't want to seem like they're controlling me by having myself talking to them instead of them talking to me.
-that's foolish man. it works both ways.

 

[Aestheticly]

"I, for some reason, have this mindset of thinking "they have to earn a conversation with me."
-wrong mindset to have man.

son't smother them with attention constantly but there is no reason that you can't start a convorsation with them. It's foolish not to. If you see them a few times a week wait 2 or 3 weeks and get numbers and ask them out.

"I'll come from behind and surprise them with a hug."
-unless your close with them that's creepy. don't do it.

I guess I just don't want to seem like they're controlling me by having myself talking to them instead of them talking to me.
-that's foolish man. it works both ways.

Yeah, I have a really weird "style" of thinking, even according to my friends. I guess I may overanalyze things. But about the hug thing, it's not creepy at all. I don't sneak up on them and pounce; I'm just saying how I don't avoid approaching them.

I'll start engaging more.

 

[biker_gixxer]

"I, for some reason, have this mindset of thinking "they have to earn a conversation with me."
-wrong mindset to have man.

I agree. You are probably missing out by doing this. There are plenty of ways to engage a girl without giving all your power away....