*****ification of man

[NewMan]

I'm sitting at work today - and I just received a mass email....

It goes something like this:

"We all want to congragulate XXXXX XXXXX on becomming a new daddy. little XXXXX XXXXX weighed in at..... etc"

I'm sitting here and I relaize that throughout my life - through every media channel - T.V.; Radio; magazines; Internet; guys are being pussified. We have been taught how to live our lives;

Grow up,
Get a job,
Meet a nice woman,
Settle Down,
Have kids,
Remain faithfull,
provide for your kids and wife,
Be a good boy,
Respect your wife,
Die at an early age.


It beings to mind why I looked for this site in the first place. Don Juan.

I don't want to drive a Dodge Neon or Ford Taurus - I don't want 2.2 kids. A dog that I have to take care of and pick up it's Sh#t. I don't want to have to work until I'm 65 to provide for a wife that will stop putting out for me and giving me BJ's after 3 yrs of marrage. I don't want to be telling my son to live life because when he's married it'v over. I don't want to be one of those guys I see in the office all of the time - their in their 40's, tired, worn out, over weight and over worked, driving their 1995 Ford, while their wife stays at home running errands in the brand new Surburban she can't even park.

A don Juan. Lives a life by his rules. Has a woman - or marries a woman, not because he's scared "Oh my, is this the best woman I can get? - will I ever find someone as good looking?"

No, Don Juan has a woman because she improves his life. She's the woman who adds to him - not takes things away from him. She brings to the table and gives to him just as much as he gives to her.

Society has screwed us up for a long time. We are continually fighting society - and what are role in it is - as DJ's.

I remember the following....

I was wearing a T-shirt from the movie set of the Family Man. I was at my ex's Gramdmothers house - and her Grandmother commented - "Why are YOU wearing that T-Shirt? Your not a FAMILY MAN"

I was at another of my ex's family functions - when a friend of her family announced in a group to me - "Why have you not married XXXX yet? you know, if you don't marry her, I have a guy who works with me I'll introduce her to"

I could go on.... but htese are 2 small examples of how a DJ must fight society every day of the week.

It's no wonder become AFC's - but when you come down to the bottom line, Women do not want AFC's - but thats the very thing they are trying to turn us into.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Sounds like somebody slipped you "the red pill" and you woke up from the Matrix.

Welcome to the club of awakened individuals! I felt that way back in the early 80's. Now I'm in my 40's tired, worn out...naahhh. I 'm stronger than ever. Unplugging from the matrix is the right thing to do until your ready to plug back in.

 

[Knicknack]

here here! great post. i always laugh at guys who buy into the whole marriage equals happiness BS... look at lance armstrong. fool made millions and provided his wife with everything. a house in spain. private jets. 3 kids. now the wh0re probably found someone else. i've read lance's autobiography and he was AFC with his wife. look where he is now.

 

[squirrels]

From NoMarriage.com

Traditional marriage balances different privileges and obligations for men and women. Modern woman wants all the benefits of "equality" without any of the responsibilities.
Traditional Western culture balanced special privileges for women with special obligations, and the same for men.

Equality states that no one get special privileges, and that responsibilities and rights should be equally shared.

Either system is balanced and fair. The problem with modern Western culture is that many women want only the positives from both systems:

They want special privileges from the traditional system (men paying, being "gentlemen" by using special deferential manners and language to women, being the main breadwinner, etc) but not the old-fashioned obligations (being modest and ladylike, being a housewife, etc).

They want the positives of equality (rights, equal access to work and education, etc) without the responsibilities (paying your own way financially a full 50% for life, taking risks with no safety net, and taking your lumps without complaint like men do...not expecting to be protected or sheltered from harsh reality, etc).

You can't take only the good from both systems...you have to take the bad with the good in any balance you strike. When women try to have their cake and eat it in this way, the bad doesn't disappear...it gets paid by men, and this is why the current culture is one of exploitation by selfish hypocritical women...and it's why men are tired of the inequity.

If American women chose one system or the other and took their full share of the bad with the good there would be no problem. But current American culture discourages women being looked at critically, instead projecting all blame unjustly onto men; and so the inequity is rationalized away.

This is why other cultures which haven't got this ****ed up as far as gender relations go, start to look attractive. The women there expect to give as well as get.


NoMarriage.com manual will explain in much greater detail why marriage no longer makes sense.

Never, NEVER give up your divine right to define your life on your own terms. Not for a woman, not for anyone.

 

[b's nuts]

bump

 

[learningtopimp]

Very good post! My sister and I were having this same discussion, as she was objecting to my "DJ" ways saying I should be nice to girls, treat them like princesses and settle down (fortunately I have you guys and this site so I don't listen to women's advice). I argued that marriage was not for everyone and I wanted a woman who would contribute, to which my sister, who is actually a very cool girl, said I was a typical male pig, using and abusing females for my own gain. I had to laugh, because we have heard that from women so many times.

 

[sailorgirl]

LOL

New man awesome post I laughed my ass off and I really needed to!!! The post was very very honest, definately true and hilarious at the same time. Awesome

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

I lived that life and then I divorced it! I chose to do this because I was truly unhappy.

I was not going to be dragged down and because that was the next step. Towards the end of my marraige I was 21, had a heart issue due to stress and I was a mess. Now 5 years later, I am healthy, feel good, live good and I'm happy. The last 2 years have even been more of an experience. Life is weird and we go through seasons in our lives that forver change us. Just know that no matter how bad it seems to be, there IS greener grass on the other side.

M.A.C.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Matt ala Casanova
I lived that life and then I divorced it! I chose to do this because I was truly unhappy.

. Life is weird and we go through seasons in our lives that forver change us. Just know that no matter how bad it seems to be, there IS greener grass on the other side.

M.A.C.

I feel ya

 

[dietzcoi]

I lived it and divorced it too. Why didn't this site and you guys exist in 1983, you would have saved me. New Man, you are 100% on. Don't go down the AFC road. Save yourself!

Dietzcoi

 

[NewMan]

Ex F'ing xctly...

Here here....

Women want their cake and they want to eat it....

Whoose left picking up the pieces? Who paying the bills? taking the risks? reponsibility?

And the biggest of all - whoose sacrificing their life for all of this? Yes, it's the man. We give up everything - freedom, money, fun, women - for what? For a chick whoose going to take us for granted - expect us to work, help around the house, help with the kids....

What does she do?

I know the answer and so does every man whoose been in an LTR.


It starts the same way - the chick is cool - she digs you and your hobbies and the things you do.

then, she will change - you spend to much time with your firends - at the gym, martial arts whatever - the things that attracted her to you, she no longer wants you to do. She wants you to go to the movies, the mall, dinner with family - but there's no give and take - it's all her way - and AFC's - these are the guys that will do what she wants.

It's not even as if you'll be getting laid anymore. She'll tell you that she's tired, that she never did like sex in the morning/giving BJ's/sex outdoors - whatever. So your getting no sex, no fun, just trying to keep her happy.

The cycle:

We are born - Child.

We become a Boy - this is where we are influenced the most

Teenager - we spend our time looking for women - attracting women chansing women.

Man - some of us become a man for a short amount of time - early 20's usually.

Husband - mid to late 20's (if we are lucky) we've found 'The one' and become a husband.

Father - we then have kids - and become a dad.

Provider - this is the last stage - and the most terrbile. We no longer matter - our lives are almost done anyways. All the years we've put into our career, wife, home and kids have left us tired, fat and miserable. It's to late to change, to get out. It costs to much money (alimony) to much time - and who would take us anyway. Our life's over, we'll take solice in the fact that we may see firends once or twice a month.

Then we die.

there's more to life than this.

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by NewMan
I don't want to drive a Dodge Neon or Ford Taurus - I don't want 2.2 kids. A dog that I have to take care of and pick up it's Sh#t. I don't want to have to work until I'm 65 to provide for a wife that will stop putting out for me and giving me BJ's after 3 yrs of marrage. I don't want to be telling my son to live life because when he's married it'v over. I don't want to be one of those guys I see in the office all of the time - their in their 40's, tired, worn out, over weight and over worked, driving their 1995 Ford, while their wife stays at home running errands in the brand new Surburban she can't even park.

My sentiments exactly.

Why get married and only have one hot chick for like 5 years, when you can stay single (keeping yourself in great shape) and have as many hot chicks as you want for 30+ years?

I mean, maybe I could see the point of marriage for some people if the men in this world didn't get consistently f*cked in the ass by the court system when the woman gets "tired of him", and maybe I could see the point if the women actually had something else to offer us then just thier bodies and thier b*tching.

But seriously, I really don't think that anyone could argue for marriage at a young age.

The only reason for it, is so the guy can be lazy, and not have to worry about 'finding p*ssy' because he has a wife that doles him out his once-a-week.

Who wants to live THAT life?

 

[Slickster]

Newman,

Great you've figured out that marriage isn't what you want. You've gone into detail about the bad things regarding marriage that you don't want. However how about describing what it is that you do want. Is it just to be a DJ till you're old and ugly?

I find these anti-marriage posts quite funny. I do agree that many marriages are very poor however with the knowledge gained right here I believe that many DJ's would choose their wives and live their lives better than the average guy. DJ's seem to have confidence and the drive to improve their lives in every regard however they look at the average man's marriage and feel that they are going to fall into the same trap. I don't think so.

WE ALL CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. We are a rare breed in this day and age. Don't look at marriage negatively because of others mistakes. They are not the man you are or who you will become.

Lets look at how you say we've been taught to live our lives.

Grow up (Can't help that can we?)
Get a job (I enjoy time away from work but it is necessary to work)
Meet a nice woman (Nothing wrong with nice women)
Settle Down (Desire for this comes with age)
Have kids(Not necessary but one can argue its the meaning of life. What else are you going to do?)
Remain faithful (Faithful is good)
Provide for your kids and wife (Conversly, provide only for yourself or maybe be a deadbeat dad)
Be a good boy (Nothing wrong with good is there?)
Respect your wife (Respect is good)
Die at an early age (Says who?)

I know I'm taking this too far but if all these things above are bad or wrong then lets look at the opposite of all these things.

Never grow up, always be immature
No job be bum
Meet women but not nice ones
Don't settle down just keep on partying
Forget about being faithful to anyone
Forget about providing for anyone. Its all about you.
Be a bad boy
Disrespect the women in your life
Die old.

Does this sound like a good life?

I personally do not want to be an immature, unemployed, selfish, disrespectful old man who still goes out and parties and thinks he's a player.

Think about it guys. Your looks are going to eventually fade. Your hair will fall out or go gray. The women you will be able to score with are going to get less and less attractive. And most of the quality women will have been snatched up by the guys who wanted to get married when they were young.

Sure some guys age gracefully. Player Supreme sounds like he's still going strong. Most black guys I know don't show their age like white guys. Their hair doesn't gray as quickly and if their bald it looks cool. However I don't want to get into that too much.

I'm not ready for marriage either but I'm open to it. Most of you guys here are way too young to be thinking about it anyway. But at least be wise enough to realize that when you get older your way of thinking is going to inevitably change. Just like you're body breaks down over time. You'll find you can't go out partying all weekend anymore. If you play sports you'll start getting these nagging little injuries. You won't feel invincible forever.

Don't cast the idea of marriage away. You're still young, naive, and inexperienced about life.

HOWEVER BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE VERY LUCKY PEOPLE TO HAVE FOUND THIS PLACE AT A YOUNG AGE.

You won't make the mistakes that the masses of men before you
have made. They chose the wrong women and will be paying for it forever. Those poor bastards.

 

[legolas]

Read my sig

But yeah, I read nomarriage.com and my whole perspective on women changed in an instant!!! No all I see is these attention hoes everywhere showing off their false white teeth and their false big boobs. And I heard a comment on TV the other day, where a girl said "Yeah we get everything for free because we are girls" Meaning we get everything for free from losers who have built a shrine to the p*ssy god because we are P*ssy's Witnesses.

Don't give a f*ck about p*ssy (but inside hehehe )

 

[ShortTimer]

Re: Ex F'ing xctly...

Originally posted by NewMan
Provider - this is the last stage - and the most terrbile. We no longer matter - our lives are almost done anyways. All the years we've put into our career, wife, home and kids have left us tired, fat and miserable. It's to late to change, to get out. It costs to much money (alimony) to much time - and who would take us anyway. Our life's over, we'll take solice in the fact that we may see firends once or twice a month.

I know men who are 25 and this already describes their lives.

there's more to life than this.

a-****ing-men

Growing up doesn't mean giving up.

 

[NewMan]

Slickster - of all the people on this site - I can always know that you will bring us crashing down to earth with a bump -


I'm not saying all marrage is bad - but my point is to rant about what's out there for us, should we not follow the DJ path - and my belief is, that we will all eventually become AFC's to our wife. Yes, there will be an exception or two - but the majority of us, will fall into the fold and do what society has told us to do - even most of the guys reading this.

The trap - that we all fall into - is that we use our DJ skills to get the woman - we are a challenge, we have confidence, and a I don't care attitude. So we get the woman, we decide this is the girl - this one is different to all others.....

and what happens? We love her, care for her. Then everything changes. This is the basic and most important point. The relationship changes. The Woman changes - we change.

Personal experience.

I didn't want an LTR - ever. I had women, but never a LTR - didn't need it. Then I meet her. A Godess. I mean she was so good looking it made me cry. And a personality to match. I know most of you will say that you had a HB9 etc etc. But when I tell you this girl was beyond belief in all departments - I'm not kidding.

At first it was fantastic. I did my thing - Gym, Saturday afternoon with my buddies, Kung Fu 3 time a week - she supported me in it all. She'd be in my apartment making dinner when I come home from the gym. She'd show up to my apartment at 1 A.M. - climb into bed with me and bang the hell out of me. Sex was unbelievable. I've had BJ's at baseball games - Got hand cranked in the back of a car with her mum and grandmother in the front seats. She's take me to strip clubs and buy me lap dances. This chick was awesome.

2 yrs went by - we moved in together. This was the one.

Then it changed. Sex went to once a week. To once every 2 weeks. She told me she never liked BJ's to start with - so I maybe got 1 every 3 months. She wasn't that kind of girl anymore. She didn't want to be tied to the bed or blindfolded.

I talked to her about it all.

She would have more sex if we went away on weekends more. Or if I gave her more of a commitment (read as a Diamond ring). Or if I showed more interest in fixing the house up - took some lessons at Home Depot and learnt how to lay that wooden floor in the kitchen - Fvck the list was endless.

It went from great to - "You expect me to drop my clothes anytime I see you" - "It's all you think about is sex"

My reply:

"I don't expect you to drop your clothes every time you see me - I know it takes you some time to get that chastedy belt off"

"I think about sex because I'm not getting any"

"I'll buy you a ring when you start taking care fo me"


.....


My point.

This was with the girl who was awesome at the start. It was it. There was nothing wrong with her. Yet 2 yrs into the relationship it all came crashing down.

Perhaps it's fine for some people. but not me.

I could have been married - perhaps even got a divorce by now.

Is that something you want? because unless your willing to put up with this kind of Sh#t - thats what will happen to EVERY relationship, not matter how good it was to start.

Guys are very simple.

We are either Horny or hungry. So I would tell my ex, if I'm not horny put a sandwhich in my hand.

Women want the world - and expect they will get it - for nothing.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

NewMan, your story is a lot like mine. I had the same relationship experience with an ex of mine. It was one of my biggest AFC turning points.

Although a part of me would still love to find a rare gem ( a truly good woman with a great heart and great attitude), I'm more against marriage than for it.

Slickster I agree that not all marriages are bad. In fact I have a friend who has been married for about 15 years. Before I found this site, he once told me how happy his marriage was. Still had regular sex and still got BJs. And seeing him and his wife together, I believed it. They seemed far different than MOST married couples. Notice I said MOST.

I wish I knew then what I have learned on this site. I would have questioned him to find his secret to having a marriage like that.

Unfortunately, most marriages don't turn out this well. Is that a reason to give up hope of finding this kind of happiness? Hell no! And I agree that spending time on this site learning a lot will lessen your chances of ending up in an unhappy marriage. BUT, there is never a gaurantee. Some women are great actresses who seem perfect until after they've got the ring through your nose. (or nutsack) And others seem to change over time. And sometimes, even us guys are to blame. Sometimes, we just get bored of the same woman all the time. A true DJ should never have that problem, because he would never settle for anyone who wasn't the best.

I guess it boils down to being a smart DJ, and being lucky. As far as getting married, it's a highly personal choice. I don't think there should be as much social pressure to get married, considering the high rate of divorce. You have to decide how much pain and misery you're willing to take a chance on living with. Marriage is a risk. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

 

[Titus]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Sounds like somebody slipped you "the red pill" and you woke up from the Matrix.
Welcome to the club of awakened individuals!

Surely, that was ment as "sleeping individuals"?

NewMan, after i read your age, i was quite suprised to see some things you wrote.

Originally posted by NewManI could go on.... but htese are 2 small examples of how a DJ must fight society every day of the week.

Yes! Fight! Fight! Beat them all! Break the bastards down before they get to you and turn you into an, oh the sheer horror!, "AFC"! You're all alone against them all! The almighty superhuman "DJ!" Fight to the death until your last drop of blood is spilled!

Holy Mother Mary macaronie...
The answer to this is in the end of the post.

Originally posted by NewManIt's no wonder become AFC's - but when you come down to the bottom line, Women do not want AFC's - but thats the very thing they are trying to turn us into.

No, NewMan, it's you who is turning yourself into what you call an "AFC." And the main reason behind this is your fright of it, not the woman's actions.

Originally posted by NewManA don Juan. Lives a life by his rules. Has a woman - or marries a woman, not because he's scared "Oh my, is this the best woman I can get? - will I ever find someone as good looking?"

No, Don Juan has a woman because she improves his life. She's the woman who adds to him - not takes things away from him. She brings to the table and gives to him just as much as he gives to her.

Society has screwed us up for a long time. We are continually fighting society - and what are role in it is - as DJ's.

You really are every capitalist's dream, do you know that?

Newman, it's kind of ironic, and silly to be telling this to a man of your age, but you have been double crossed.
"DJism" is exatcly what you are fighting and raging so much against -capitalism. Never be totaly satisfied with yourself, always strive for better, always aim higher then the last time and improve yourself at all cost. Reach for your dreams! Reach for the stars!
This board has tricked you into thinking, that you are fighting society, while you are doing exatcly what IT, the system, wants from you. Grab, grab, never stop and always be ahead of others. Money is not the case here, but it is not excluded.


My view:
There is no need to fight. There is no need to be better. There is no need to improve. You already have everything you need to live happy, in this moment, to be totaly satisfied and without any worries for the rest of your life.
Places like this cloud you vision, and they make you think that there IS something out there for us, that we will reach, someday, oneday. But we will not. It is all just our own unhapinnes with ourselves. That is what we are trying to leave behind, with getting better, fighting and improving.
This place makes you chase your own tale, NewMan, and makes you think you will one day reach it.
...but do you think we ever will?...

Thank you and good night

 

[NewMan]

Ahhh - Titus, I would love to see your 5 year plan.

Perhaps we can all work in the field together and drink are fill of vodka after

Yes you are right - dreams - but dreams of what?

You say of improving of getting better - you imply the impossible life....

I say not.

I say the opposite.

We have been tricked - to doing exactly what society wants us to do. What? we should settle down and marry these women even though we are not happy with them? Are you joking? We become what they want us to become - YES they do want us to do what they want. You see the problem here is the women themselves have been TOLD what they want - by their mothers - by COSMO, VOGUE you name it. They are told what a happy life they can lead with the mean of their dreams - in a coockie cutter house, with a cat, a dog and 2.2 kids. Yes, their man goes off to work while they look after the kids and get their nails done. Then the maid turns up at 2pm to clean the house for them.

And they EXPECT this - yes they do.

So whoose really dreaming.

You see women want this ideal - but at the same time they want it to be exciting - they want their cake and they want to eat it.

I read a post earlier today - sorry can't think who wrote it - but it said that women want their cake and they want to eat it.

I don't see your age - but I guess you are younger - early 20's tops.

Perhaps in Slovenia it's different? I doubt it comrade.

 

[00Kevin]

A man should think of himself as warrior. When you do women in your life will sit at your feet with their arms wrapped around your legs. THAT is the natural order of things. Don't let a woman tell you otherwise.