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If You're Not Good at Cold Approach After a Month, You Never Will Be

Velasco

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His original comment was that there are certain individuals that have a 'knack" for it.

A certain personality type

The strange thing is, I've seen very, very few individuals involved in pickup who actually improve their skills. Either they have a 'knack' for it, or they don't
SetinStone made a similar comment



If you are not this person then you will never be GOOD at cold approach.

 

joesbigship

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This makes little sense. Mostly because someone who does something 8 hours a day for a month is going to be appreciably better at something than someone who does it for an hour 2 or 3 times a week for example.
Not necessarily. This is because your appearance is far more important than your "pua skillset."

So you are putting a timeframe of a month and disregarding the amount of actual time someone has spent on it. Pretty sure there would be a huge difference with someone who spent 230 hours a month on this versus 8 hours.
Not really. PUA techniques have been taught and practiced as such since at least the late '90's and was especially popular from say, '05 to the early 2010's.

That means there have been "instructors" who approached multiple days a week, multiple hours a day, for a decade or longer whose results we can evaluate. Who's the best out of all of those instructors? Probably Neil Strauss. Yet, his best results were the types of women sosuave finds disgusting: purple hair, drug abusers, party lifestyle with high body counts: basically, pump and dump rocker chicks that Neil took on as reclamation projects.

The rest never divulged their results, likely out of embarrassment. Their business models if you could even call them that were destined to self destruct for a whole host of reasons but they got rich in the meantime.

Everyone has a ceiling to how good they can get but at the end of the day they need to dedicate sufficient time and also focus on the areas they are weakest in to gain maximum benefit from it.
A 4' 9" horse jockey can practice trying to dunk for the rest of his life and he'll never succeed. Even the very best women's basketball players rarely dunk and even then they can barely dunk.

Heck, even most grown men in their 20's can't dunk. (As an aside, look up the name Pat Conaughton. He's a white nba player, and I believe he has the highest recorded vertical in an NBA combine. However, he couldn't win the nba dunk contest even though he had the genetics to make him the best leaper in the entire league? Why? He didn't have the reach or the hand size of the other top dunkers. A "genetic limitation" if you will. Add to that, he's probably a below average nba player).

Back to picku: if the "top instructors" can only pull emotionally damaged rocker chicks who mutilate their bodies then what type of success can their nerdy, socially awkward clients expect?

You are talking in a vacuum. But I can point to the history of the PUA movement and show that it was basically fraudulent even with instructors approaching women as a full time job.
 
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joesbigship

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His original comment was that there are certain individuals that have a 'knack" for it.

A certain personality type
You certainly don't have to be "evil" or a drunk to become successful at pickup. It helps immensely to be good looking and to have extensive prior experience developing good social skills.

These guys are usually very ambitious however, with marriage to a hot woman and a lucrative career in their minds and they usually do marry an attractive woman and never have to attempt "pickup" anyway.

This is why you're so likely to see the least attractive and least socially skilled guys who are MOST likely to be involved in PUA. They are the largest demographic because they fail so often and have to take much longer to get any result of any kind.

This is why online dating is likely flooded with older women and less attractive women. They are the leftovers (for the most part). Just as in pua, for the most part, pua guys are the leftovers: guys who could not get attractive girls or even average looking girls to commit to them so they wind up back on the "marketplace" so to speak.

Dating is like any market: the hottest "properties" go first and for the highest price, and they usually don't show up again on the market in the short term.

All of this is self-explanatory.
 

Velasco

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This is why you're so likely to see the least attractive and least socially skilled guys who are MOST likely to be involved in PUA. They are the largest demographic because they fail so often and have to take much longer to get any result of any kind.
I mean that's obvious. Why would someone who's socially SKILLed be involved in PUA lol?

If you are someone who is good looking but doesn't know how to make things happen (and therefore will not attempt to make things happen) then you will seek out dating advise. Just that mainstream dating advice is too politically correct. And will therefore end up somewhere like here.
. I had the look of a bad boy / player and attracted a lot of women (largely based on what I seen those guys look like in the past), but didn't know what to do from there. Even as they were making most of the moves, I was like a deer in headlights. Very inexperienced and uncertain. A lot of it was self-sabotage based on fear & insecurity

This is why online dating is likely flooded with older women and less attractive women.
Flooded? yes. ALL girls are older and less attractive women? No.

Just as in pua, for the most part, pua guys are the leftovers: guys who could not get attractive girls or even average looking girls to commit to them so they wind up back on the "marketplace" so to speak.
This i agree with. Only leftover = broken.
 

joesbigship

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Case in point. One of the endless examples of clueless guys attracted to pua (no offense to the poster personally). A woman completely ignores him and in his deluded mind it's a sign of "submissiveness" and sexual interest. You literally cannot make this sh1t up.

Also, yes, there are socially skilled guys involved in PUA and with sosuave. However, the percentage is lower compared to the rest of the population.

She was sitting, I went to her said „Mrs.“ waited a good second, but she didn’t turn around, so I just asked her whether I can sign my name into the list. (Thought, after she didn’t turn around that she doesn’t want to be approached, maybe because of the other students or the sexual tension) It was very tricky. She was in a submissive state it was obvious. My question is, do you guys think those signs are enough to ask her out?
 

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Velasco

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Sounds like the person I'm talking about.

Good looking but clueless

I'm good-looking and look masculine as well, based on the compliments I've got.
If you are someone who is good looking but doesn't know how to make things happen (and therefore will not attempt to make things happen) then you will seek out dating advise.
He listed the signs he saw that she was attracted (which I see you edited out). And wanted to see if there was something there.

You take his teacher not turning around when he said "Ms?" (Didn't hear him/was thinking about something) as a sign that she's not interested. Which is irrelevant.

The only mistake he's made is in the fact that he hasn't even escalated yet. For moral reasons lol.

I didn't ask her out yet, also didn't touch her so far, which is I think a big mistake from my side. I don't know guys, I'm still facing some moral issues when I think about making the move with touching.
 

coyote_astro

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Feel free to prove me wrong! Start up an approach journal and track your results from month to month.

This applies to EVERYONE. Confirm or disconfirm my claim on your own!

I wish you all well.
I also wish you well.
I might have sounded too harsh in my reply, but I believe your statement reflects a very limited mindset. There are infinite examples of people achieving extraordinary things (some of the much harder than developing/improving social skills) who started much much older than that. OK I get that it may be easier to learn things the younger you are, but only to some extent.
I might not have an approach journal (and honestly will probably not start one for many reasons). As another poster commented above, I myself have made tremendous improvements after the age of 22 and especially after 25. And it keeps getting better.
 

BackInTheGame78

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His original comment was that there are certain individuals that have a 'knack" for it.

A certain personality type



SetinStone made a similar comment



If you are not this person then you will never be GOOD at cold approach.

The problem was hanging out with a person like that in the first place
 

Chilimili

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Case in point. One of the endless examples of clueless guys attracted to pua (no offense to the poster personally). A woman completely ignores him and in his deluded mind it's a sign of "submissiveness" and sexual interest. You literally cannot make this sh1t up.

Also, yes, there are socially skilled guys involved in PUA and with sosuave. However, the percentage is lower compared to the rest of the population.
You both are jealous and that's kinda funny. Ever heard about something called Anti Slut Defense? Are you both even ****ing women? Anyways in Blocklist you both losers go.
 

Ladykiler

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I talked to women when I was younger. My point was being good at cold approach is much more than just speaking to women. So much of it is how you speak -- with a lot of it being about body language and appropriate use of kino. That was something that young 20s Barrister did not have down.

And to each their own, but I cannot imagine going out of my way to cold approach at a mall for 4-8 hours. No issue with approaching at the mall in general, but I will do my shopping and cold approach along the way. Then I am done. Too contrived otherwise.
well as a teen I really didn’t have much to do
And it was always fun to me
 

Ladykiler

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A balance is definitely what they should strive for, lot of these PUA types spend all their free time approaching women. It eventually leads to burn out because no sane person can do the same thing everyday for years.




How can you do 4+ hours a day? It seems you like you went straight for pure volume over everything else.
Let’s say I **** around for a hour and actually put in work for 2
 

SW15

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This is why you're so likely to see the least attractive and least socially skilled guys who are MOST likely to be involved in PUA. They are the largest demographic because they fail so often and have to take much longer to get any result of any kind.

This is why online dating is likely flooded with older women and less attractive women. They are the leftovers (for the most part). Just as in pua, for the most part, pua guys are the leftovers: guys who could not get attractive girls or even average looking girls to commit to them so they wind up back on the "marketplace" so to speak.

Dating is like any market: the hottest "properties" go first and for the highest price, and they usually don't show up again on the market in the short term.
The least attractive and least socially skilled guys are either PUA or MGTOW guys. However, because of the Pareto Principle and the surplus of younger single men relative to younger single women, lesser skilled men are wide audience. Lesser skilled men describes about 80% of men. When numbers get that large, not all men part of that 80% are socially inept. Due to male surpluses and technology giving women more options, the middle of the bell curve men are doing worse than 30 or 50 years ago. A generation or two ago, a 50th percentile man could get a stable long term girlfriend who was semi-sane and had a BMI in the normal weight ratio. There are plenty of unspectacular Boomer males out there who have been with the same woman for 40-45 years or are divorced guys on their 2nd wives who didn't have much trouble out there. Had these 1950s born Boomer males who came of age in the late 1960s/1970s been born in the 1980s (Millennials) and came of age around 2000 or after, they likely would have been working harder to get scraps of pusssy from overweight women, face long sexual droughts as betas, and simp for women on Instagram and OnlyFans.

I agree that dating is like any market. In commercial real estate, it is well known that the best properties never get listed on the big internet listing boards for commercial real estate. They get sold off market. If a property makes it to the big internet listing boards, it is a less desirable property. The equivalent of this in dating is that the best men and women meet each other in real life and never get "listed" on dating websites/swipe apps. Men and women only resort to tech assisted dating when all other methods fail. The better ways to market yourself are...

1. Through social circle
2. Through random interactions either at bars or non-bar venues
3. In the DMs on Instagram, YouTube, or Twitter. Facebook and LinkedIn DMing is complete shiit so don't do that.

Once you start to look on the swipe apps, you're looking at the women who couldn't solve their dating needs through in-person methods mainly or secondarily in their DMs. While you might see some physically attractive women on swipe apps, they often have some big personality flaw. There are too many flaws to list. The typical guy (who likely has a weak social circle) goes on a swipe app and sees more pretty women on a swipe app than he sees while going about his day to day life, so his mind tricks him into thinking that there are hotties on apps. Apps allow him to do the equivalent of being in multiple places in the real world at one time. Some men do approach sessions during the day in retail settings or outdoors and get scant attention, so they are tempted to do to the swipe app thing and they think they are accomplishing something, but usually aren't doing any better than lingering outdoors waiting to see a good approach scenario.

Let's not forget that romantic relationships are transient. So quality women will find themselves single at some point, even if they are off market due to an extended relationship for 3, 5, or 10 years at a time. If you want to get with these women, find them through some real world means. Approaching in the real world is a slog. Also, some people aren't capable of building a social circle that is effective in producing dates. There are a lot of variables that need to line up for a social circle to happen and some of them are out of the man's control.

There's merit to @joesbigship's assertions.
 
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