Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What would actually make you feel good altogether? Is it just a little interaction or none at all?Fela Kuti said:strangely, i'll feel better.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
What would actually make you feel good altogether? Is it just a little interaction or none at all?Fela Kuti said:strangely, i'll feel better.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
none at all. they could still have a friendship, of course. but no more "dates".Francisco d'Anconia said:What would actually make you feel good altogether? Is it just a little interaction or none at all?
If your gf is doing something to purposely annoy you, then your relationship with her has some problems. She knows it bothers you, but she still goes out with him on dates. That doesn't sound like a girl who gets weak knees when thinking about you.Fela Kuti said:none at all. they could still have a friendship, of course. but no more "dates".
The truth is, she probably doesn't know that I'm bothered with what she does. I never straight up tell her that it bothers me if she hangs out with that guy. I only said, she can do it with moderation (not too often). The reason is that I don't want to be a controlling BF. But if I could choose freely, then yes, I prefer she doesn't hang out with him anymore.DonJuan11 said:If your gf is doing something to purposely annoy you, then your relationship with her has some problems. She knows it bothers you, but she still goes out with him on dates. That doesn't sound like a girl who gets weak knees when thinking about you.
The guy is doing nothing wrong.
Alright, I thought that was what you were getting at. Personally I think is seems reasonable. Like I said earlier, I'd ask her why it doesn't seem strange to her that although she has a relationship with you she's going out on dates with two men. She'll rationalize it that he's just a old friend but if the two of you weren't in a relationship, it would look like that they were in a relationship to all the world. Just go to her and deal with it. Besides, if he were truly her friend, he'd agree; but that's for her to work out.Fela Kuti said:none at all. they could still have a friendship, of course. but no more "dates".
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Bingo!comic_relief said:If she doesn't know that it is p!ssing you off then how is she supposed to know what to do. Girls are not mindreaders.
comic_relief
She cheated her past BF for me. So there..young_gun said:Fela Kuti, do you TRUST your girlfriend? It seems to me like you don't.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
holy **** man get the **** out of dodge. i was where you were with that. you never trust them becuase you know how you two met. walk awayFela Kuti said:She cheated her past BF for me. So there..
Yep just like my ex and also your girl if I remember correctly is also a passive aggressive so she likely has the whole phony sweetness and harmless act down tight.Fela Kuti said:She cheated her past BF for me. So there..
EXACTLY!! This is great advice.Danger said:3) Realize that the only solution to this is in yourself. You need to be comfortable with the fact that your gf/wife/fb will always be attracted to other men. If you want to keep her, you have to be the better man. So get out there, improve your life for you, increase your confidence, and always make yourself a better person. Then, only a foolish woman would want to risk losing you, and who wants a foolish woman?