"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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If your GF hangs out with a guy, would you consider it cheating/disrespectful?

Francisco d'Anconia

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Fela Kuti said:
strangely, i'll feel better.
What would actually make you feel good altogether? Is it just a little interaction or none at all?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Fela Kuti

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
What would actually make you feel good altogether? Is it just a little interaction or none at all?
none at all. they could still have a friendship, of course. but no more "dates".
 

DonJuan11

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Fela Kuti said:
none at all. they could still have a friendship, of course. but no more "dates".
If your gf is doing something to purposely annoy you, then your relationship with her has some problems. She knows it bothers you, but she still goes out with him on dates. That doesn't sound like a girl who gets weak knees when thinking about you.

The guy is doing nothing wrong.
 

Fela Kuti

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DonJuan11 said:
If your gf is doing something to purposely annoy you, then your relationship with her has some problems. She knows it bothers you, but she still goes out with him on dates. That doesn't sound like a girl who gets weak knees when thinking about you.

The guy is doing nothing wrong.
The truth is, she probably doesn't know that I'm bothered with what she does. I never straight up tell her that it bothers me if she hangs out with that guy. I only said, she can do it with moderation (not too often). The reason is that I don't want to be a controlling BF. But if I could choose freely, then yes, I prefer she doesn't hang out with him anymore.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Fela Kuti said:
none at all. they could still have a friendship, of course. but no more "dates".
Alright, I thought that was what you were getting at. Personally I think is seems reasonable. Like I said earlier, I'd ask her why it doesn't seem strange to her that although she has a relationship with you she's going out on dates with two men. She'll rationalize it that he's just a old friend but if the two of you weren't in a relationship, it would look like that they were in a relationship to all the world. Just go to her and deal with it. Besides, if he were truly her friend, he'd agree; but that's for her to work out.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

drmeathead

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yeah man you need to tell her straight up like i told you a few posts back last night. she will try to make this a you issue but the bottom line of the situation is that she is knowingly doing something that makes you uncomfortable. it would easier on you if she just punched you in the nose atleast that would stop hurting after two minutes.

you need to tell her how this makes you feel. tell her she is free to do whatever she wants. know in your brain you are, likewise, free to respond to her actions how you want (emotional withdrawl, non exclusive, walk away totally)

when you are agree to be in a relationship with someone, you agree to put their feelings ahead of others and yourself. if you cant do that then dont agree to be with the other person. if you feel their feelings are unreaonable, unfair, or uncalled for then dont be with that other person. it is simple really.
 

comic_relief

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If she doesn't know that it is p!ssing you off then how is she supposed to know what to do. Girls are not mindreaders.

comic_relief
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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comic_relief said:
If she doesn't know that it is p!ssing you off then how is she supposed to know what to do. Girls are not mindreaders.

comic_relief
Bingo! :up: They feel that any guy giving them attention is just a friend as long as they aren't physically intimate.
 

young_gun

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I don't think there's anything wrong with this. There's a vibe on this site that "every woman on Earth cheats on their boyfriend behind their back". Nothing could be further than the truth. I wouldn't date a girl if I had the suspicion that she would cheat on me.

Fela Kuti, do you TRUST your girlfriend? It seems to me like you don't.
 

Fela Kuti

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young_gun said:
Fela Kuti, do you TRUST your girlfriend? It seems to me like you don't.
She cheated her past BF for me. So there..
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

drmeathead

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Fela Kuti said:
She cheated her past BF for me. So there..
holy **** man get the **** out of dodge. i was where you were with that. you never trust them becuase you know how you two met. walk away
 

KontrollerX

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Fela Kuti said:
She cheated her past BF for me. So there..
Yep just like my ex and also your girl if I remember correctly is also a passive aggressive so she likely has the whole phony sweetness and harmless act down tight.

History repeats itself brother.

These chicks tell you who they are within the first few minutes of talking to them but in our AFC state we just don't have our filter turned on or worse we ignore it thinking we can produce a different outcome with a bad woman.

Ain't gonna happen ever.

Relationships with bad women always have a shelf life.

As for the dude who wondered how to solve the problem of a girl hanging around guys...

Dude its not a Gordian knot problem or whatever the fvck.

The problem is not filtering out those b!tches with guy friends in the qualification stage and putting her in your frame where you tell her up front that to be in a relationship with her or any girl you require that she no longer have guy friends or restrict friendship activities to something thats acceptable to you.

The only one you can control in life is yourself so if she disagrees with that control yourself and get to steppin.

That girl ain't for you if you want a chick free of guy friends and general AFC orbiters/clingers/pathetic parasitic relationship killing scum.
 

young_gun

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Danger said:
3) Realize that the only solution to this is in yourself. You need to be comfortable with the fact that your gf/wife/fb will always be attracted to other men. If you want to keep her, you have to be the better man. So get out there, improve your life for you, increase your confidence, and always make yourself a better person. Then, only a foolish woman would want to risk losing you, and who wants a foolish woman?
EXACTLY!! This is great advice.

Fela Kuti, I think it would be in your best interest to let this girl go. Every time I see you on this site, it's to complain about this girl. Your battles may have already been lost, whether you know it or not.
 
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