"If you want short-term stints, don't express long-term values"

[AmIAFC]

A co-worker, who's also a bartender, shared that tidbit with me. He's a bit crazy, so I don't know what I can believe with this guy, but his point was that guys who illustrate long-term qualities don't't get the easy/quick sex, while those that don't usually get the one-night stands but despoil themselves of any long term shot.

How true is this?

 

[jophil28]

It is a true enough.

 

[Lexington]

It's pretty true. If you just want to bang her, then you'd better cut to the chase. Escalate and make a move. If you are considering getting into an LTR, you should consider holding off a little bit because you might trigger her anti-slvt defense.

 

[AmIAFC]

What about in terms of initial communication and behavior? Are there specific pitfalls or things you say and do that can trigger long-term as opposed to short-term response and compatibility?

 

[slaog]

What about in terms of initial communication and behavior? Are there specific pitfalls or things you say and do that can trigger long-term as opposed to short-term response and compatibility?

I think it would be easy enough for women to pick up on. Something like the badboy and goodguy types for example. Badboys want some bedroom action and goodguys/nice guys want to take things slower and have a relationship.


So I think women looking for one night stands would look for a flirty guy who is sexually aggressive and maybe a bit ****y.

 

[teacha]

A co-worker, who's also a bartender, shared that tidbit with me. He's a bit crazy, so I don't know what I can believe with this guy, but his point was that guys who illustrate long-term qualities don't't get the easy/quick sex, while those that don't usually get the one-night stands but despoil themselves of any long term shot.

How true is this?

i dunno about you guys but sometimes i 'illustrate long-term qualities' just to get laid (eg. saying nonensical romantic stuff like i miss you blah blah blah). It just depends who im dealing with.

 

[Nutz]

It's fairly true. If you are percieved as boyfriend material it's not uncommon for women who would normally give up sex pretty quickly to hold out to get you as a boyfriend. The inverse is also true, they might jump into bed with you in no time flat and not consider you to be long-term relationship material, even if you did want that as your goal. However, the latter perception is much easier to change than the former IMO. Guys who have had actual relationships that spawned from ONS are examples of this.