"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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If you think you've got it rough ...

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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Given his condition, I find it very unlikely that his first goal is to find a girlfriend...also for technical reasons.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
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Given his condition, I find it very unlikely that his first goal is to find a girlfriend...also for technical reasons.
Actually, he had a girlfriend before it happened. Still a ****ty situation to be in. His life is unfortunately over.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
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Why do we bother saving people after **** like this? Just euthanize him, christ.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Pierce Manhammer

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He has the will to live, so be it. I’ve seen so many that are fighting tooth and nail to stay on that eventually fail, and then there are those that do everything in their power to screw themselves up that just keep going…

It’s a travesty.
 
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