Tonight I was hanging out with someone and it dawned on me that I didn't wanna keep living my life like this. I am going to end up like this if I keep going. I just need to find someone I can connect with. I moved away and went to college. On my 1.5 year trek, so far I have been with one girl(Sue). For some reason I only hung out with her and did not make my own friends. I did this for the full 1.5 years and I am now lost. Sues parents are going crazy. Sue is not like she use to be. I feel like we don't connect anymore and we always fight. The last few times we've been together something happens and we end up fighting in tears. I don't want to live like that. We're on a break right now, she says she needs her space. To find her own group of friends. I feel like she is kicking me to the side. I have no one else to hang out with now that I don't have her. I feel lost. I know, I know. Search and read the bible. Any help from one person, not a whole archive?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
If you like long posts and giving advice look no further.
- Thread starter xenten
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Woah buddy. Relax, take a deep breath and explain coheretnly what you dont like and what you want to change about yourslef.
And stop talking about Sue, cuz when you get ur $hit together, there will be 10 sue's that you'll have your pick from.
And stop talking about Sue, cuz when you get ur $hit together, there will be 10 sue's that you'll have your pick from.
I've been reading for well over two weeks. I feel I don't have anyone I can go talk to any time and share about anything with each other. I guess I need a friend. My social status has gone down and I can't connect with people. Tonight I felt that I was Daisy Downer (off SNL), It seems that what I say brings everyone down because I don't think before hand. I can't conversation, with anyone.
Edit: I don't know why I feel like this tonight and not in the past few days. I felt I made a friend in a few of my classes. I just need to hang out with them. I don't know what friends do together. It's been a long time since I've done that. That's what scares me with hangout with someone, that I won't know what to do. Or have no reason to hang out. I think I have anxiety around others.
Edit: I don't know why I feel like this tonight and not in the past few days. I felt I made a friend in a few of my classes. I just need to hang out with them. I don't know what friends do together. It's been a long time since I've done that. That's what scares me with hangout with someone, that I won't know what to do. Or have no reason to hang out. I think I have anxiety around others.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
Sorry brother but your relationship with Sue is effectively over.
Read joekerr's great thread on breaks to find out why...
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks
In anycase this happens to just about every guy who makes a woman his sole focus and doesn't make a life for himself outside of her company.
Women are to be a nice addition to your life but never its passion or driving focus.
The driving focus and passion you need to base your life and identity around is something that is 100% unchanging like living a healthy life by being an exercise nut or striving to be good at music you know something unchanging like those things meaning something that is always going to be around and there for you to persue something that can never be taken from you so you never lose your identity and sense of self when a relationship ends because you no longer base your entire self identity around a chick who can leave you or die at any time.
Even though I'm not a Christian a better way of looking at it may be to use a teaching from Christianity.
Ok there is a saying by Christians that Jesus's house ie the church was built on the rock so that when the waves came and washed over it, it remains standing.
While foolish people live in houses made of sand so that when the waves come crashing down the house is washed away with them.
Basically this teaching is saying whatever you trust in should have a solid unshakeable foundation.
So to sum up all I've been trying to say is you need to make your focus and identity based on a solid unchanging foundation and then you'll never have to deal with the feeling of being lost in life ever again when some woman leaves you because you never again made your life based on the unstable uncertain surface that she is but rather something that is unchanging.
Anyway though man for recovery other than telling you this all you can really do is try and get yourself out more and build up small conversations with people to get yourself back in the swing of being social.
You don't have to get too discouraged about early failures as remember you are trying to unwire your brain from being used to talking to one person and that personality for so long as well as repairing deteriorated social skills so it may take some time but as the old saying goes: "Rome wasn't built in a day".
Read joekerr's great thread on breaks to find out why...
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks
In anycase this happens to just about every guy who makes a woman his sole focus and doesn't make a life for himself outside of her company.
Women are to be a nice addition to your life but never its passion or driving focus.
The driving focus and passion you need to base your life and identity around is something that is 100% unchanging like living a healthy life by being an exercise nut or striving to be good at music you know something unchanging like those things meaning something that is always going to be around and there for you to persue something that can never be taken from you so you never lose your identity and sense of self when a relationship ends because you no longer base your entire self identity around a chick who can leave you or die at any time.
Even though I'm not a Christian a better way of looking at it may be to use a teaching from Christianity.
Ok there is a saying by Christians that Jesus's house ie the church was built on the rock so that when the waves came and washed over it, it remains standing.
While foolish people live in houses made of sand so that when the waves come crashing down the house is washed away with them.
Basically this teaching is saying whatever you trust in should have a solid unshakeable foundation.
So to sum up all I've been trying to say is you need to make your focus and identity based on a solid unchanging foundation and then you'll never have to deal with the feeling of being lost in life ever again when some woman leaves you because you never again made your life based on the unstable uncertain surface that she is but rather something that is unchanging.
Anyway though man for recovery other than telling you this all you can really do is try and get yourself out more and build up small conversations with people to get yourself back in the swing of being social.
You don't have to get too discouraged about early failures as remember you are trying to unwire your brain from being used to talking to one person and that personality for so long as well as repairing deteriorated social skills so it may take some time but as the old saying goes: "Rome wasn't built in a day".