"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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If You Leave The House, Girls Will Approach

kody_starr

Don Juan
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I want to take a seminar or two this summer for enrichment. Also, to have more of a social life obviously. I'm kind of a workaholic by nature, so in the past year or so, I haven't gone out much. But the past few days, in seeking out a seminar I like, I've been meeting lots of people.

Actually four girls have approached in just the past two days, and many more are staring or just standing nearby, waiting for me to speak to them.

This is really surprising to me as I have not been hitting the gym as hard as in years past, and my belly is slightly doughy as a result. I'm working out more now, but still.

I recommend everyone get an active social life whether it's volunteering taking classes, playing sports, or whatever. You are bound to meet people. And those people will know other people and so on. It's very easy to network, and it's expected.

I think this is a much better long term strategy as opposed to cold approaching. I'm not opposed to cold approaching but depending upon your personality and your social environment, creating enduring networks may be much more valuable in the long term.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Cinamon

Senior Don Juan
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May 18, 2009
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good for you! You have a way with words (douhgy belly), must use that the first chance i get ;)
 

kody_starr

Don Juan
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May 28, 2009
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lol, as in pillsbury dough boy. But seriously, I'm working on getting my weight back down to my earlier weight, and I've already gotten results!
 
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