"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

If you HAD to choose your torture?

You gotta choose one of these which would it be?

  • Have your knob grated to a stump

    Votes: 2 2.2%
  • Have a hot needle up your japseye

    Votes: 2 2.2%
  • Have your knob cut off and u have to eat it

    Votes: 1 1.1%
  • Have acid on your balls

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You have to shag an old man

    Votes: 56 62.9%
  • Be bummed by a chippendale

    Votes: 19 21.3%
  • Have your japseye glued up so when u piss yo knob will swell up and pop like a water ballon

    Votes: 3 3.4%
  • Have you bellend boiled

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Have your knob stretched until it snaps

    Votes: 2 2.2%
  • Have your knob fried by electricity

    Votes: 4 4.5%

  • Total voters
    89

DrBeard

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ok dudez I was talkin to my mate and we were disgussing what would be the worst punishment to do to one of our enemies.

We said the worst would be to let THEM choose from a list. So then if someone said you GOTTA choose 1 of these options or we kill your family what would you pick?

These are the options.......
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

penkitten

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a friend of mine and his brother died via getting electricuted and his brother had his toe shot off because the force was so great.

this was a horrible chirstmas light hanging accident.
 

Epic

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You forgot have burning bamboo slivers shoved underneath your fingernails.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

seanchai

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Man, you guys are queers. I'm the only one who didn't vote for gay sex.
 

[DoN.2.Da.JUaN]

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Originally posted by seanchai
Man, you guys are queers. I'm the only one who didn't vote for gay sex.
your the only one left without parts of your reproductive system ;)
 

Badmannaz

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entering the 4th quarter....
^^^^

Seriously!!!

I'm sorry you can call me gay all you want (im not) but if it came down to F*ckin some old guy i'd do it as long as my balls and pen!s is properly functional and not messed with in anyway
 

TheRelic

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Haha... nice selection there, completely devoid of anything halfway preferable to the next :p

Amusing how the posts questioning the mods motives in keeping this up and closing other more valid threads were deleted :rolleyes:
 

Phoenix_of_the_ashes

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I chose the chippendale.

You can all call me gay, but Id really want to keep my **** functional and intact and I could never even get a hard on for an old guys so that is really impossible.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

doctoroxygen

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Originally posted by seanchai
Man, you guys are queers. I'm the only one who didn't vote for gay sex.
That's because gay sex isn't torture for you, seanchai.

DOCOX IS BACK, BABY
 

hardwork

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Originally posted by Badmannaz
I'D Plug an old dude anyday as long as my d*ck stays on my body....
Exactly. A little roundeye never hurt anybody.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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I didn't answer but I have never read a funnier thing on here in a long time.

DoctoOxygen's reply to seanchai made me lose it... my god that waqs funny :D:D:D
:crackup:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Berlex

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Originally posted by JC Jerkson
You forgot:

Having DrBeard peck out your eyes with his giant beak!

CawCawCaw!!!


JC Jerkson
hahaha
 

thederekeffect1

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Originally posted by mroriginal
Why are you guys keeping this thread alive?
We want your knob chopped off.
Or you could just **** the CEO of Sony for a promotion. Thats what we're all doing. :)
 
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How ironic. Yesterday after seeing this one band called Vader play I had a nightmare. It was bad ass. Like I was walking home from school at 9 o clock at night in the snow(this is when I realized I was in a dream) with a friend or a dude who used to be my friend. Well we're walking and we get to my backyard. He talks about how something possessed him and suddenly he turns into a psycho freak f*ck that is probably related to pinhead. And he goes apesh*t all over the backyard and another friend comes over and my demon friend attacks him and they start fighting and then after violently whooping his ass, the demon says "this is what I live for" and then he puts the beaten fool on this table canvas thing with long needles, sharp screw looking thing, syringes and nails and liquid of some sort and btw the table had a bed of nails on it. Dude is slammed on it and then a needle maneuvers itself to his wrists and proceeds to drain blood and then another needle moves on his other wrist and does the same thing. After wards from under the table a million smaller needles poke from behind guys face in such percision while another device pours hot liquid over his face to make it wax like and then needles poke through his head and out his face and somehow the guy is still alive..and then some more nails enter all 10 of his fingernails. And then the demon takes out these huge ass syringes with black liquid in them and proceeds to carefully insert them into the victim's ears until his head expands to its capacity and so now the dude is getting blood drenched from him, needles are popped out of his face so he looks like pinhead his face is swollen to the max and his fingers have been penetrated and then the demon pushes a button and from under the table this curvy bed like casket thing with saws come out from both sides and the sides close on the guy's body. And then he wanted to fight me and I punched him and then woke up...
 

AC/DC

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Originally posted by Dimebag_Darrell
How ironic. Yesterday after seeing this one band called Vader play I had a nightmare. It was bad ass. Like I was walking home from school at 9 o clock at night in the snow(this is when I realized I was in a dream) with a friend or a dude who used to be my friend. Well we're walking and we get to my backyard. He talks about how something possessed him and suddenly he turns into a psycho freak f*ck that is probably related to pinhead. And he goes apesh*t all over the backyard and another friend comes over and my demon friend attacks him and they start fighting and then after violently whooping his ass, the demon says "this is what I live for" and then he puts the beaten fool on this table canvas thing with long needles, sharp screw looking thing, syringes and nails and liquid of some sort and btw the table had a bed of nails on it. Dude is slammed on it and then a needle maneuvers itself to his wrists and proceeds to drain blood and then another needle moves on his other wrist and does the same thing. After wards from under the table a million smaller needles poke from behind guys face in such percision while another device pours hot liquid over his face to make it wax like and then needles poke through his head and out his face and somehow the guy is still alive..and then some more nails enter all 10 of his fingernails. And then the demon takes out these huge ass syringes with black liquid in them and proceeds to carefully insert them into the victim's ears until his head expands to its capacity and so now the dude is getting blood drenched from him, needles are popped out of his face so he looks like pinhead his face is swollen to the max and his fingers have been penetrated and then the demon pushes a button and from under the table this curvy bed like casket thing with saws come out from both sides and the sides close on the guy's body. And then he wanted to fight me and I punched him and then woke up...
Dude, get off the drugs.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

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