been dating a chick for almost 3 yrs and noticed things changing. the catch is, it seems like it came out of nowhere. things were fine on sat when she left a friend of a friends wedding, and on sunday she asked if i wanted to meet with her and old friends from college whom i know. i declined because i had to work and take care of the house. we would always keep in contact, usually on a daily basis to chat here and there. since sunday she gave no text or call, so i gave a text on tue. in short, i gave her a call and said whats up...and she said things like she had stuff "brewing in her mind" about our differences, like church, kids being discplined, marriage, the whole nine yards. basically telling me that we were so different, but what relationship doesn't have all of those differences? i'm having the feeling that the "spark" may be gone. the question is, is it temporary and what do you guys think i can do?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
if the "spark" goes
- Thread starter FinalWay
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ace of Flames
Master Don Juan
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She was just at a wedding, and then met up with old friends that have probably changed a lot since you used to hang out with them. I'm sure they had lots of success stories about their lives, and this caused her to reflect on herself.
She just gained a lot of perspective, and most likely, she doesn't like where she is. Friends are getting married, leading exciting lives... and she's still with you. After 3 years. Nothing has really changed. Its her biological clock dude. She's ready for a big change, and she's just using these little issues that you have differences on as excuses.
So what should you do? Well, its pretty much your decision. You need to shake things up a little. Let her know that life with you is still exciting, still promising. She saw all these other people making big strides in their lives and then came back to the two of you and thought, "What are we doing?". You gotta remind her what a fun, awesome guy you are and why she's lucky to be with you.
She just gained a lot of perspective, and most likely, she doesn't like where she is. Friends are getting married, leading exciting lives... and she's still with you. After 3 years. Nothing has really changed. Its her biological clock dude. She's ready for a big change, and she's just using these little issues that you have differences on as excuses.
So what should you do? Well, its pretty much your decision. You need to shake things up a little. Let her know that life with you is still exciting, still promising. She saw all these other people making big strides in their lives and then came back to the two of you and thought, "What are we doing?". You gotta remind her what a fun, awesome guy you are and why she's lucky to be with you.
after that convo i originally posted on, she ended up going to the "space" card. i had to pick up my ps3 at her parents place, so its the only reason i went, otherwise i would of gave her the "space." i didn't get mad or anything and we ended up just talking shortly about things in the past and in reality i think it went ok. no contact since then... any tips to make this work?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Romjuan
Don Juan
you need to withdrawl your presence from her. so you are doing no contact since then thats a start. here is a good thread that had good advice for a similar situation.
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158925
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158925
Just went through the same thing as you. It goes from bad to worse.
I first clued in about a month ago. Very similiar problems as the thread in the link. I lost my edge, she lost her respect for me, always testing the boundaries, acting disrespectful. Decline in interest level, less affection, attention etc. More proactive jealousy and fake exagerated emotion, she complains i dont spend enough time with her, while i can see deep in her eyes that she's talking nonsense.
I had a breakup talk with her within the first week. Said we should breakup if she isnt happy, she said she was. Increase of interest for 2 days, then back to ****.
Just gets worst and worst from there for the next 3 weeks. I tried to make it work too, but nothing works effectively for the long term. Once it goes bad, its gone forever.
I broke up with her a few days ago.
This thread is an exact blueprint of what happens in a situation like this. Good posts in it.Romjuan said:
I first clued in about a month ago. Very similiar problems as the thread in the link. I lost my edge, she lost her respect for me, always testing the boundaries, acting disrespectful. Decline in interest level, less affection, attention etc. More proactive jealousy and fake exagerated emotion, she complains i dont spend enough time with her, while i can see deep in her eyes that she's talking nonsense.
I had a breakup talk with her within the first week. Said we should breakup if she isnt happy, she said she was. Increase of interest for 2 days, then back to ****.
Just gets worst and worst from there for the next 3 weeks. I tried to make it work too, but nothing works effectively for the long term. Once it goes bad, its gone forever.
I broke up with her a few days ago.