If she says that she doesn't have time.

[carbani]

This is simple.

You call a girl and propose going out on a certain date. She gives you a famous excuse: "I don't have the time".

A good way to handle this situation is to ask: "So when do you have the time?" or "What other date suits you?".

After this question you'll either hear "Never", or a valid date. And you will know where are you standing. Never end up a call not knowing if the girl blew you off, or she really couldn't have a date with you.

Obvious, isn't it?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Question: Wouldn't it be apparent before you get a woman's number her interest level (or lack of it)? Why waste time getting her number if she isn't into you?

I keep on saying that focusing on getting a telephone number after just meeting a woman is a wasted AFC effort. Why not just ask her out, if she's interested she'll accept and if she's REALLY interested, she will give you her number willingly.

C'mon guys, why keep setting yourself up for failure over and over again...

 

[sapphire]

Agreed. Once it is apparent that a chick is not interested, why waste anymore of your precious time and energy?

When a chick says that she doesn't have time to spend time with you that is a big clue that she is not interested. Get the hint and move on.

 

[zentraveller]

I totally disagree with this. You're letting the woman set the frame from the very beginning and saying...I'm free when you're free = I'm a loser.

Say right from the beginning I'm going to go chill at a cafe on Tuesday at 4pm. Why don't you join me?

If she says, I'm busy that day...give her one more "opportunity" then DISMISS.

 

[carbani]

I don't know how about you guys, but I go for chicks who have their own lifes. For the ones with jobs, hobbies, and who don't sit at home all the time. For the ones, who won't drop everything just when a guy calls and says that he has got a free evening.

Basically - I hunt for female DJs


Recently I had a situation in which I tried to ask a girl out. I know her and I know that she's got a full life - hobbies, job, school. She didn't have the time either saturday nor monday.

I asked her for the second time, two weeks later. She didn't want to go to the comedy evening, explained to me why ("Those people don't know comedy, I'll be tired after the work..."), and mentioned another thing that took place at the same evening, saying that she will most probably go there. (She's performing like a true DJ

So - I stuck to my plans, she stuck to her. And I still have no idea if she is interested, and if it is worth to waste any more time on her, or should I just next her.


The lesson I learned is: don't hang up the phone unless it is absolutely obvious that she is not interested. Asking "What other time fits you?" allows you to find that out. Either she'll say: "when the hell freezes", or "thursday, 7pm". You don't have to go for her proposal, but at least you'll know if there is any IL.

I say: Be a man, fight for what you want. Don't back off when a girl is a challenge, because you may next all the best girls.

Regards,
Carbani

P.S. Francisco - there are many situations when you may be asking for a date not really knowing the IL. For one - in my example, the girl was the one who #closed me, but the purpose wasn't obvious. In other cases - you may want to set up a date without #closing first. Finally - you may feel that there is IL, but she may say that she doesn't have time, and leave you in a situation of uncertainity.