"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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if beyonce was a boy she's be a DJ

bukowski_merit

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this song came on in the car with this girl i was with
and she turned it up and said "this song reminds me of every guy i've ever fallen in love with"... gave me the key to make her fall in love with me (not that i want that with her)... but the song offers some pretty good advice... even if it's not meant to be taken that way...

If I were a boy,
Even just for a day.
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on want I wanted and go.
I'd drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I never get confronted for it
Because they stick up for me

[cut chorus]

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they think
That I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that
She'll be faithful
Waiting for me to come home

[cut chorus]

[cut stupid 3rd verse]
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DJDamage

Master Don Juan
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First off, she stoled all those lyrics from an unknown artist who never made it big.

Secondly, majority of girls already act like boys. They get tattoos, they drink/smoke excessively, get into physical fights and they swear and fvck around like a sailor. That is not something I celebrate when it comes to the masculinization of females and the feminization of men.

Thirdly, its not too hard to make this sh1t up, even in reverse:

If I were a girl,
Even just for a day,
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and jump out the window to my death because the hormones, voices in my head and vagina have taken complete control of my logic and I cannot survive without being heavily medicated to begin with.

The End.
 
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