If a girl stops talking to you is it over

[omkara]

Ok here's my situation... say you don't really know a girl but you meet her on the internet, and she doesn't reply to your email, after sending you like 2 emails. Or say you went out on a date and then emailed and she just didn't respond. So that means it's over right? She is showing low interest, so it's over? Is there any way to deal with this besides a) spinning lots of plates and b) not caring about them. Because that's what I hear constantly on these boards. Sometimes I meet a girl and I like her, I want it to work out. I guess it would be easier if I were made of stone but I don't think I'm made up like that.

 

[jafyk]

Yea, assume it is or maybe she really got busy. Either way don't wait go do stuff to pass the time.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

She could also be testing you, to gauge your interest level.

 

[cola]

Ignore her. If she calls you back she was testing you..
If she doesn't she was never really interested..

Or the 3rd option.. <-- least likely..
She was genuinely busy..
But you should be too..
Working on goals.. going on sporting events .. you know man stuff

 

[Kevin Feng]

I find that its healthy to have some degree of apathy when it comes to dating in general.

When I first got in the game, I was always trying to get a girlfriend and always "trying to make things work", which logically speaking, would be the best way to get a girlfriend, but I found over time that it wasn't the case.

I wasted so much time and more importantly, emotion over girls that just simply weren't compatible with me, they weren't *****es or anything, but when out try and force two people together that are not compatible, only negative emotions will arise.

And yes, if a girl stops talking to you, that's just simply rejection, take it as so, it's no big deal, move on. It's going to hurt the first couple times when you get invested, but you'll learn through experience and some degree of pain.

-Kevin

 

[trajhenkhet02]

Not all rejections end with a blatant no.

 

[f283000]

you guys need to read the 2 strikes rule you are making this way more complicated than it really is.

 

[dude04]

she is just not that into you.

 

[omkara]

wow, so many good points here. Thanks. I know, ultimately, if I am getting hung up on some girl that I don't really know, then it's more of a reflection on me than anything else. I don't just need a gf, I need connections to people. And if any of you have ever experienced "being cut off from society" before, it makes it harder to actually act like a normal person and socialize.

All I know is that, I have gotten some pretty enthusiastic responses lately. So I know I'm doing something right. One girl said I was cute and an intellectual, and that was her idea of nearly a perfect man. And the other girl wrote back and gave me her myspace and told me to meet her at some bar that night (which I didn't go to of course). And then within one or two emails I will say something to completely turn them off. The problem is that, I have to say something. I can't just be completely boring. Either I will be way too nice or I will try to be funny, and my sense of humor is very negative and sarcastic, and they will probably just think I am a miserable, depressed person. Anyway whatever.

I think I need to go back to reading the articles. When I was reading the new articles for this week, it actually explained everything that I did wrong with the first girl. http://www.sosuave.com/articles/hsm/niceguy.htm I was way too nice! Duh, it's not like I haven't been hearing that for the past six months. But somehow it's ingrained in me. That is the way that I tend to try to establish connections with people. And it's not being submissive, the way that some girls interpret it. It's just how I do things.

The article about not revealing too much about yourself and maintaining an air of mystery was good too. http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip155.htm Again, stuff I've heard before but need to keep remembering. Actually now that I think about it, when I ask them about stuff they're interested in it really gets them talking. And when I talk about the stuff I usually think about, and try to impress them with my "personality," it goes nowhere. This one girl all I did was ask her if she's been to any shows lately, and she started getting all excited and going on and on about it.

And please don't tell me internet dating is lame, I already know that. I'm trying to use this to develop confidence. In fact I would like to date an average looking girl because I think if I could do that then I could really start to get some momentum going.

Plaything - you said pretty much the opposite of everyone else. That's very confusing, don't do that! lol

f283000 - I like that 2 strikes rule, and I saw that thread before. That means I can email again once if I don't get a response. If it was just one strike that would seem harsh and unnatural. But yeah, the IL is probably going to be pretty low, unless I can bring it up again.

 

[Willis]

Never Care More Than The Woman....ever..

 

[Cherokee]

Never Care More Than The Woman....ever..

Right! because that's her job.

But seriously, she probably is just testing your interest, to see how many stalker like messages you leave on her answer machine. Best advice is to simply keep busy and enjoy "yourself!". People really gotta try to control their hormones before they flood their mind. Read Pook's stuff in the bible.

 

[omkara]

Ok so here is what happened with this. At the time I wrote this question, I had 2 girls who I met online who had done the same thing in 2 weeks. They stopped replying to emails. One of the girls I wrote again on myspace and just said, hey, what are you doing this weekend? And she wrote back then we went out that weekend and I F-closed her. I asked her on our second date, when we were getting along very well, if she ever would have written me back after the first email. She said probably not. It turns out that she got weirded out because I was being critical of some band that my friend was in, in a humorous way. Such a minor thing. I was kind of disillusioned because here I have a girl who really likes me, and found out that even she would have just written me off easily without ever taking the trouble to get to know me--because she has options. And she's not that hot either. It's just their mindset. She said this is how most people think. They just go for what's convenient.

The other girl, I wrote back after about a month, because I was feeling pretty confident, after going out with the other girl. In other words I didn't care what she would say. Turns out this girl did write me back at my personal address, but I never got it. She could have been lying though. In any case I screwed it up because I told her off and now she doesn't want to talk to me. I figure if she's not going to write back again then she is not worth pursuing because her IL is too low. If she was interested then she would be glad to have the chance to talk to me again.