"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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If a girl gives her number to you, is she interested?

No Leaf Clover

Don Juan
Joined
May 18, 2008
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I'm starting to wonder. It seems like a lot of guys here getting the number are getting flaked big time.

whats the deal?

it's gotten me nervous
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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trd323

Senior Don Juan
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Apr 7, 2005
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Numbers are wood. Its what you do before you get the number thats important. She needs to know a few things before she even thinks of going on a date with you. 1) you are SAFE and not some psycho killer (lots of Rapport) 2) Fun and not boring 3) Have things in common (rapport again).
 

guywhoneedshelp

Master Don Juan
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Well women love attention. Guys calling them makes them happy. So trd323 is right, it's what you did leading up to getting her number that determines if she was showing an indicator of interest or not.
 

wjh

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
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I've gotten girls' numbers in less than one minute time. They don't always turn into dates but that doesn't mean that there is a secret formula for determining whether or not you can actually "get" something out of it.

All a number is is an invitation. Sometimes not even that. There was SOMETHING in most encounters that lead to her giving you her number. It could be looks, your vibe, your style, your confidence, whatever. Sometimes it's purely for her own ego, to toy with you, for fun. It is possible for a girl who doesn't respect you to give you her number. It's how you handle it that determines whether or not this girl is going to feel you.

Sometimes there's nothing you can do to prevent flaking. That's not your fault though, other than not reading the dynamic better... But that's just the cost of doing business!

Either accept the fact that flaking/disrespectful/rude/annoying/etc. crap is going to happen or leave the drudgery to guys like me who have the skin thick enough to actually close.
 
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