Idea for older DJ's

[gentleman193]

I'm 29, I've been around this site for awhile, I think it's overall great and has a lot of good energy and advice. However, I've noticed it's mostly for a younger crowd.

Q. Any guys in 20's and 30's who would see the value of a forum for our age group?

Most guys in their 20's or 30's become the ultimate AFC's -- get married, buy house, push stroller, pay bills. Nose to grindstone, slave for the family. They get 2 seconds of happiness when their first kid calls them "daddy" and 20 years of Al Bundy after that.

But some guys aspire for more. They will not be made into a sperm-bank atm machine. Even as their friends drop like flies beneath the slipper of soon-to-be babushka bombs they will hold onto The Dream. These guys are usually the type who own their own business (like me), call the shots at the office as VP, CEO, Creative Director, what have you, or do something independent and creative like freelance writing, acting, lead a band, etc. In other words, these are the guys who beat the system instead of going into the meat grinder.

However, the odds of beating the system are not great in the long run and we face some unique post-college realities on the female front:

1. Single women are voraciously husband hunting. In college they had all the time in the world to screw around, literally. Now they intend to find "the one" before the eggs go bad. This means they play a meaner game. They are playing for keeps.

One consequence of this is that it may pay to present as a guy who's NOT husband material. Then they might see you as a throway fukk instead of holding back angling for the ring. There are other unique consequences that result from this situation that are worth strategizing about, especially if, like me, you hate condoms, but don't want to get "oopsed."

2. Meeting venues change. Women are no longer in your classes, clubs, and campus activities b/c there are no longer any more classes, clubs, and campus activities. Party bars give way to wine bars. Etc. So different PU techniques apply.

3. Ideal image changes. We are now supposed to be the classy older guy not the punk alpha male. A cool reserve, smooth manners, and cutting wit carry far more weight than they ever did -- but AFC tendencies are all the more lethal.

Anyway, those are just some ideas. I'm wondering if anyone has any interest in making a new forum for the 21 - 39 crowd.

 

[NewMan]

I agree - but I would raise the bar some.

Perhaps a 25+ or 30+

I'm in my 30's - but have had more luck with women lately than I've ever had before.

We certainly have more advanced women to go through - but age also has some advantages.

 

[Walden]

Yeah I think a Gen X DJ forum would be underused because theres so few of us.

But the game is different.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

I agree with one point, this site is mostly high school and young college kids, so for 30+ year old DJs, it's sort of an interesting look at the younger generation but does not offer all that much help.


On another point, it also depends on what your "dream" is.

One of my friends got married and basically has become whipped by his wife. But that is what he wants. She cooks and cleans for him and he goes to work, comes home, watches tv and eats. While that's boring to me, that's what he wants.

As for guys who act, play in a band, i can't always say becasue they are still single, they are what the "dream" is about.

I have a few friends in their 30's who still think they are musicians and still think they are going to be rockstars. That's great for them, but they are also the friends I and most others stop hanging out with. For one, they still live with mom and dad and beg their parents and friends for money when they want to go out.

It's great to have "dreams," but at some point you have to actually realize you are 30 and not 20.

Again, it comes down to, what you want.

There are plenty of 40 something year old successful entrprenuers who have tons of money but hate their lives. They spend 100 hours + a week working and on on and on.

While there are those who start a business and are successful and have all this free time, most people who become very successful became successful because their life revolves around work, money, and success. They have very little free time.

Many young lawyers start out with a need to succeed and become a successful partner in a large firm. So they spend 100+ hours every week trying to learn, trying to impress, and trying to become a success. If they are lucky, after 8 or 9 years they can become a partner in a firm. Then you have to work to impress again. It's an ongoing cycle.

While it's true it isn't always like this, most successful people can attest, that is what it is like.

 

[Charisma]

Your entire post makes me all sad inside. Especially the part where you say you stop hanging out with the people you actually should stick too, those musicians with dreams and hope. You should realise that they won't regret a single minute spent on making music, they at least did it for a purpose, and loved every single minute togheter. While you took the decision to start hanging out with the people that just decided to settle for less, and in their early thirties give up on hope and dreams. THOSE are the AFCs for life, untill death releases them.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Why should I hang out with people who are filled with BS?


I admire them for their "dreams," but as I can attest, most of these actors, muscians and/or artists have to face the fact, they are closer to 40 then to 20.


ANd I ask again, WhY SHOULD I HANG OUT WITH SOMEBODY WHO I HAVE TO PAY FOR everytime we hang out?

Why should I hang out with somebody who moans and whines that they never get a break, never have any money, yet the majority of the time, they are the ones who do absolutely nothing.

Many muscians, artists, and actors don't do it for the LOVE OF THE ART, they do it because it seems easy and they want to become famous.

Why should I hang out with somebody who still thinks they are 20, somebody who begs and borrows money off their friends and parents?

Hey, I am still friends with the same people I was friends with when i was a teenager, but I will not pay for their bills, I will not pay for their drinks, and I will not pay for anything just because they have a "DREAM."

I had a roommate once who did not pay rent for six months. I was young and had a decent job, so I just let it slide. He wanted to be a rock star and at that time, I let it slide. But belive me, it becomes old hat when it's the same excuse month after month, bill after bill.

Great that they have a dream, but I have my own dreams to pay for.

It's great to have a dream, but it's also great not to leetch off of your friends and family. Don't tell me your working for a dream and then ask me for RENT MONEY.

 

[Eileen]

gentleman193 -

I'm curious to know what a man in your position expects from women/relationships/marriage.

As for the rest of you -

I am bothered by the thought that so many men have the Al Bundy view on marriage. Do you really think that all women want is a sperm bank/ATM?

Isn't that as silly as thinking that all men want out of marriage/relationships is a maid and a *****? Or is that all they are really looking for? And if so is it truly wrong for a woman to expect the sperm bank/ATM thing from you?

(I know it’s a bit off topic, but I was curious.)

 

[DonCruez]

Originally posted by Eileen
I am bothered by the thought that so many men have the Al Bundy view on marriage. Do you really think that all women want is a sperm bank/ATM?

Eileen,
Tell me 1 thing: what does a man gain from a marriage these days?

And about the sperm bank thingy: there are some psycho's out there, you know

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by DonCruez
Eileen,
Tell me 1 thing: what does a man gain from a marriage these days?

And about the sperm bank thingy: there are some psycho's out there, you know

That would depend, Don. I am fully self-sufficient. I have my own job, pay my own bills, keep my own house and I don't want children. So for me to marry, a bloke would gain income and most likely a house cleaner as I can't stand mess.

I however thought that relationships were based on more than that. What of intimacy? What of companionship? What of partnership? Are those things not part of being married?

If these things are of no interest to a man, why then wouldn't he just pay for a ***** and be done with it. It has to be cheaper and more reliable then trying to date.

(And yes, I'm aware there are psychos out there. Men as well as women.)

 

[NewMan]

It seems to me, men go through a few phases in life when it comes to women:-

1) - Boyfriend

2) - Husband

3) - Father

5) Provider.

Yeah, we all get to the provider stage if we get married. You provide for your wife and kids - and thats it. Thats all that's required of you.

Guys are expected to work until they are 60 - 65....

Early grave.

Men get the shaft all the time - in the divorce courts who takes all the money? who gets fvcked?

 

[DonCruez]

Originally posted by Eileen
That would depend, Don. I am fully self-sufficient. I have my own job, pay my own bills, keep my own house and I don't want children. So for me to marry, a bloke would gain income and most likely a house cleaner as I can't stand mess.

And you wouldn't give him the same things when you're not married but just living together?

Originally posted by Eileen
I however thought that relationships were based on more than that. What of intimacy? What of companionship? What of partnership? Are those things not part of being married?

These are indeed parts of being married (well, I should hope so.) BUT, again, do you need to be married to experience these things?

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Being married and 40 years old can be great and it can be a living hell.


But being 40 and single can be great and it can be a living hell.


There is no one answer. To each his own.

Don't condemn a man because he got married and don't condemn a man because he isn't.

I know many married people who live well and I know many single people who live well.

I also know many married and single people who live in hell.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by DonCruez
And you wouldn't give him the same things when you're not married but just living together?

No. I won't live with a bloke. Either we are both committed and sure enough to marry or we've got no business living together. It's the statement of commitment that matters. (To me personally.) I guess to some are content with cohabitation but I feel that those who are have lingering doubts about either their own or their partners ability to stick with it should times get tough.

These are indeed parts of being married (well, I should hope so.) BUT, again, do you need to be married to experience these things?

No. You don't need to be married to experience these things but being committed to someone means you've committed yourself to share the good and the bad. If a bloke won't commit by being married that sends me a message. The message reads: If something goes wrong I want an easy out. That's not the type of bloke I want to invest my emotion on. I plan to give him more than that. Shouldn't I expect the same in return?

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by NewMan
Men get the shaft all the time - in the divorce courts who takes all the money? who gets fvcked?

Oh and women never get the shaft

 

[Charisma]

In his context not likely no

 

[Eileen]

No they just get left with three little mouths to feed and a man who thinks he shouldn't have to pay child support because the money doesn't actually go to the kids.

Or his new girlfriend thinks she'd make a better mother for his kids.

Or ...

I could go on. I've never marriend and don't have kids but I've seen many play the games.

This is life. Everyone gets shafted at some point. Get used to it.

 

[drake]

Eileen clean out your mailbox so I can PM you

Thanks!

 

[Eileen]

Oh, right away! Off to clean my box now.

 

[JohnJones]

Many young lawyers start out with a need to succeed and become a successful partner in a large firm. So they spend 100+ hours every week trying to learn, trying to impress, and trying to become a success. If they are lucky, after 8 or 9 years they can become a partner in a firm. Then you have to work to impress again. It's an ongoing cycle.

And so many of those recently minted partners and senior associates are petty, bit*hy and out of control of their lives, still trying to impress clients by sending emails at 3:00 a.m.

 

[coldcoal]

Whether your dream is to become an ATM-sperm machine or an international gigilo is totally irrelevant, because either way you are going to need the company of a woman. And, for so long as you do not know how to pique the interest of a woman, you will not achieve either dream.

Of course, how it is done varies, but either way there is one bottom line: Do you want advice from a 15 year old on how to court a wife? Do you want to achieve a James Bond-like suave via the advice of a 17 year old that talks homie?

However it was portrayed, wasn't that the point of this thread?