"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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"I Would Feel Too Vulnerable..." ???

A-Man2151

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I'm currently confused. I have been dating my girlfriend for over three months now, and I know it's still early, but sometimes you can't help getting that feeling that you have found the one. Up until this point, everything has gone very well...we are both college students, and we have a lot of fun together; by ourselves, and we both have good groups of friends. Up until just recently, I have noticed that my girlfriend has been acting slightly different. Earlier on in our relationship, she had no problem telling me how much she liked me, and that she has never liked someone as much as me, and that she couldn't wait til the next time she saw me, etc...things like that. In the past few weeks or so, I have definitely noticed that she doesn't do things that like nearly as much, and I asked her recently if something was wrong, and her reply was, "I don't always feel comfortable always telling you how I feel because it makes me feel vulnerable." At first I had no idea what this meant, and was very confused. Isn't this the same girl that has told me so many times how crazy she is about me, and that I am the first boy she has ever loved? Why would she feel vulnerable telling her boyfriend how she feels about me? Sometimes I feel like the woman of the relationship because I am telling her more about my thoughts, where normally that's the girl doing it. I don't mean that I'm some super sappy guy who is constantly saying 'I love you' every two seconds, but lately I feel like I have been expressing how I feel about her much more than her for me. I hear there's a honeymoon period when a couple first goes out, where they are crazy over each other, and I wonder if I am just overexaggerating about this, and if I should just chill out. But even though the honeymoon period is over, isn't it normal for her to still tell me how much I mean to her every once in awhile still? How do you guys interpret this....Thanks
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
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Yeah even after the honeymoon period ends she should be telling you how much you mean to her every once in a while.

It seems your gut instinct has detected something rotten in denmark with her.

What it is currently you do not know, but do not let your guard down.

When a chick starts acting different than her standard normal behaviour with you something is wrong.

It could be something a little wrong or something very wrong.

Just know that the gut instinct never lies.
 

Adrian

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Dude you should NEVER tell a woman too much about how you feel. Let them do that, and just because she does it, it doesn't mean you have to immediately reciprocate. Do it very sparingly and ofcourse she has to earn that kind of respect. Treat your feelings like they're a very special part of you. They should be. If you're to tell a woman how you feel about her she has to EARN it. Too much, too soon and too consitently is NEVER a good thing.
If she isn't being consistent with her behavior and you feel that she may be losing interest then it's likely that you aren't enough of a challenge or mystery for her. She likely takes you for granted. You don't want her to feel like she "has" you. That only brings boredom. And about the vulnerability part... It's probably bs on her behalf as well. She could probably see herself losing attraction in you and is confused about you and the relationship. Think of it as something along the lines of "It's not you, it's me".

The problem with these kinds of girls is that they don't know how to break it off with you so they
1. try to instigate fights and arguments and attempt to piss you off
2. make you break up with them or make you seem like the bad guy who they had to break up with.
3. stop answering phone calls and AVOID you.

You're probably doing other things as well to lower her interest that you're not even aware of.
 

A-Man2151

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Well I know that I want this relationship to last...aka, I don't want to mess this one up...what kinda of things can I do to ensure that the relationship stays interesting and that I continue to intrigue her and we still have a lot of fun...What you said about 'making it a challenge for her still'....I understand that to the point of keeping her on her toes, but also, if I sometimes act like I'm ignoring her, how can that be good for a relationship by blowing her off sometimes?
 

PhatE1vis

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A-Man - what's your situation outside of the relationship? Are you busy with your own things that don't involve her? Sports, hobbies, friends?

I wouldn't suggest just ignoring her, but get busy with other stuff once in a while so you're not being clingy. It's actually healthy for your relationship.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Obsidian

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She could have easily just avoided answering by saying, "Nothing's wrong" or "I've just had a lot on my mind lately" or some other bullsh1t. The fact that she admits feeling vulnerable around you tells me she's probably telling the truth. Her IL is probably still at decent levels.

But remember to keep being a man. Don't sap up and become a wuss just because you've already got the girl. Being a man is what you are; learn to accept it on a permanent basis.

And Phat Elvis is right.
 
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