Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

I would be fine if she would just go away

always 2 nice

New Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2010
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Location
nh
My situation is about 3 years old now ad I'm so ready for it to be over. About 3 years ago I meta woman who cuts hair across the street from my business. Shortly after I started getting my hair cut there she asked me for my cell number. I gave her my business number the first 2 times she asked because I thought she was out of my league, I'm a big guy, she's a moderately attractive middleaged woman. So anyway when she finally got my cell, communication became a daily thing quickly on her part. She asked me to go out for drinks one night which quickly turned into 3 or more dinner/drinks dates and lunch a couple of times a week.She followed up with Hints suggestions that she was into me etc. Nothing crazy but she wasn't calling me buddy. I told her I was interested and BAM! THE FRIEND SPEECH along with more mixed signals and asking me to go out more. She started calling our outings DATE NIGHT, tell me I was a fantastic date and at the end of a couple of dates she would give me kiss on the cheek and a big hug tell me she had an amazing time and even go on to say.... I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT, I HAVE MY KIDS BUT I'LL CALL YOU. What FRIEND DOES THIS????? The story goes on but i'll post this for now. What does this sound like? CRAZY?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
Sounds like you need to put your big boy jeans on and STOP TALKING TO HER. Pretty simple if you ask me.

Stop going on Girls Night Out with your Girlfriend. No contact. leave it. Stop being her gay best friend. Good luck.

btw. She's middle aged with kids. Shes totally not out of your league, you are out of hers. Start treating her like it. By not talking to her. Shes got too much baggage.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
373
Age
67
Location
South Dakota
Well, right now, she's getting what SHE wants-dinner,a night out without the kids, etc. YOU aren't getting your needs met. Time to call her out. Frankly tell her you want sex. IF she's not willing, move on and find another woman. Since you ARE ok if you never see her again,you can't lose. She may try to get you back into HER ideal man,don't weaken
 

always 2 nice

New Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2010
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Location
nh
Yeah, this bs has been going on far too long. I could tell you stories that would make you want to puke. When I ignore communiocation it usually results in her calling my business phone and my cell multiple times and texts about me ignoring her. I've been through it all with this woman, she's manipulated me to fix her car, for financial help, every time catching me off guard, I've finally pounded it into my head what she really is. Because I had developed feelings for her(and she knows it obviously) she has played my strings to the fullest extent. She has her system of calling or texting right when I think she's done and gone and she's so persistent to regain my attention. she'll call my business phone, and i kinda have to answer that. Now amazingly enough she's dating some douchebag who treats her (well...i guess how she deserves) how ever that leaves me as the mental nice guy platonic boyfriend crutch she needs because he's a jerk, but so is she obviously. She's so crazy that she has looked at me and said..YOU'RE NOT GETTING RID OF ME.
 

Radharc

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
235
Reaction score
5
always 2 nice said:
I told her I was interested and BAM! THE FRIEND SPEECH along with more mixed signals and asking me to go out more.
But did you actually made some moves or you simply told her? Because, you see, it really doesn´t work out like that.

Anyways, that financial help thing and using you and not letting you go sounds extra-fishy.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top