I was with a UG and feel BAD

[azanon]

That was pretty damn funnny Pendo

 

[Paradox]

Ha! This is too damn funny for the main discussion board.

Moved to AE

Good one SamePendo

 

[azanon]

Ha! This is too damn funny for the main discussion board.

That must be it, because it certainly isn't off topic. If so, you have about 1000 other threads to move too.

 

[Hitman10000]

This is an important post.. Thank you Pendo for sharing us your tragedy of sleeping with women who if we were sober or not horny WOULD NEVER DO.

That is why I am against guys who say "Don't masturbate cause it's against god or it makes you more masculine" - Uh. If Brad Pitt busts a nut every day with Angelina Jolie is it making him less of a man? Because he's busting a nut every day he knows he wants to spend a lot of time with her not because he's busting a nut with a hot babe.

I'm also against guys picking up girls at bars or dance clubs. The girls are drunk and so are you. The place is dark and it's like some revolving door of fog ... you can't see shat and if you can see anything you can't think properly if you were to see the same people out in the sun!

Use the UG/FG as practice to keep your game in balance. Remember always...Go with your gut.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Pendo,

TELL ME IT ISN"T SO!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I've never been with a UG. However, a girl I did like a ton, who waffled between wanting tons of sex, to wanting to be all Mother Theresa, hung out with me 1 night. We got pretty bombed, to where she was doing cheerleading stunts in my kitchen, then proceeded to hookup. No condom used. I'd never have been able to ***, and purportedly she has some weird affliction where she can't get prego unless she's ON the pill. Beautiful enough girl all around (unless she was a tranny, too?) Anyways...

We're in bed with her mega D's, decent body, curvy, voluptuious (sp?), and I find out....

1) She hasn't/doesn't shave.
2) She's hard to make *** b/c of her own insecurity with her body and awkwardness regarding sex.

And when a woman isn't REALLY into it, I'm not. When I finished, we fell asleep. She woke me up at 10am, me with a hangover headache, and I had to drive her back home 1 hour, because we'd started our near her parents home just doing random things, and then happened at a bar near my place. Being only 15 minutes away, we went there, and the night went as I described. When I got done the whole ordeal, I had to tell my brother. And swear myself off that. It would been different if she was totally FINE with herself, and didn't always feel inadequate. I know there are women who don't shave, and women who have curvy figures, big boobs, etc (not fat, just a ghetto booty and big boobs), but it's sad to see women with natural looks who DO NOT keep them up, will inevitably see them totally fall apart as time takes its toll. She was gorgeous at 19, at 21/22 when we did this...she was only average. Her face, beautiful. But her body, was degrading from diet, no exercise.

Sad really. I felt traumatized after it, and since that had happened with her, I knew I'd never be right again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Similar situation, different girl. I'm dating one at 19 years old, prior to attending my school. Meet this girl on approach at a local pharmacy. We date for a month straight, no real plate spinning, b/c if I wasn't with this 1, I wouldn't be with anyone. She has no problem "parking," b/c at 19, there's really nowhere else for us. Nice enough girl, VERY petite, but bubbly and curvy. Bout 5 feet. In the car, while making out she call's her pvssy, "spinach." Were I more mature, I might have been making out with her at this moment, but the images it conjured up totally ruined me at that moment. Days later I called it off. She was sad. I went to school and dated a few girls. 4 years later, we hooked up again, went the WHOLE way and it was a blast. But that's b/c I was more mature, and she was a super cutie.



A-Unit

 

[SamePendo]

Ha! This is too damn funny for the main discussion board.

Moved to AE

Good one SamePendo

I "love" how you guys congratulate me.

I feel much better today. It's all ok, nothing will happen, it's all ok.

Today I farted and it didn't smell like her, so I guess I'm ok now. Although my breath still smells sometimes like her, so I called my dentist and he told me to take this stuff and do gargles with it and in 2 days I'll be like new.

FYI, it was Gunwitching, I told her to go to my place "to have breakfast", and I kino'd her and then escalated to making out to (ahh! I just had a flashback, nasty ****)... I'll cut it short if you don't mind. At least, once more, gunwitching/donRonnying is proved to work, unfortunately, this time with a thing.

As Jonwon said, that bytch had all her birthdays presents of two lifetimes yesterday. This thing won't ever happen, ever. Take it from me, it's not fun or funny. This wasn't a hb 6, wasn't just a obese/overweight woman, I've seen obese women that I'd do, but this was like, . .

Eeew.

 

[BluEyes]

Use the UG/FG as practice to keep your game in balance. Remember always...Go with your gut.

With a girl that heavy it's not possible to keep ANYTHING in balance...And frankly, he might get better results going with HER gut.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I vomited, seriously.

When I was kissing her I held my breath to not smell her open mouth. When we weren't stuck, I blurred my eyes to not to see her, or simply closed them. I kissed her shoulder and it was fvcking salty. And her tits, her tits were like man boobs. I was so horny guys, but now I feel awful. Well, right now I'm better than when I left her. I felt like vomiting when we tongued down, I just stopped kissing her and continued to feel her up while she kissed and tongued my body.

When we were done I spilled water on myself to have an excuse to go and wash the fvck up. But it was fvcking hard, because she licked my ears so there you have me trying to keep quiet while washing my ears.

So after she left I vomit. And start screaming. I screamed so hard. I was disgusted. I put alcohol to clean myself. When I screamed I could smell her breath in mine, so I screamed louder. I drank wine and made gargles (sp?) with it to get rid of her breath. I didn't want to take a bath because I felt that I was going to just spread the smell/nastiness all over my body and would have to spend the day taking a bath.

When I finally felt comfortable taking a bath, I swear to god, I farted and the fart smelt like her, no lie. ///edit: I farted again, and I swear to god, it smells like her.

She didn't smell like fish, she smelt like trash, like ****. I prefer having oneitis than having this. I feel like if I had sex with Jabba the Hut. A friend told me to watch porn and to watch so much to make me believe that I had sex with the one in the porn. But I've got to go to work.

What can I do? How can I neutralize whatever she stuck on me, physically and mentally?

Damn that no masturbation thing. Damn that bulking diet. And believe me, right now I'm on fire, going out with many many women. When I was with the UG I imagined I was with the ones I've been with. I was just very horny. Please help guys.

Well, there are some guys who will say that you are a better man now because you had sex. It doesn't matter that it was sloppy, grimy, Jabba the Hut, grease stain under the stove, rotten oyster smelling, leaky puss filled boil looking dirty jungle baboon sex. Be sure to add it to your lay count!

 

[david2006]

dude, you should be proud of yourself... you're such a beautiful human being for sacrificing yourself and doing such a service to such a thing... just imagine none but you ever did or even wanted to do that to her... i think you'll forever be in her wettest dreams, and maybe even now when she's rubbing her pvssy (she did have one, right??) she's thinking of you and only you...

anyhow, don't worry about it... after few more times you'll just get desensitized to it and it's all gonna be good...

 

[spider_007]

I did one yesturday....she was young though (18)....AND CLEAN....so it wasn't bad.

I love when i make them twich.

$60....i probably could have had her for less

 

[Skel]

lol...

Exactly my thoughts

 

[Godless Heretic]

:crackup:

SamePendo, your post is just too funny!!

...But that's because, sadly, I can relate :-(

Especially the bad smell / taste that seems to linger in your system for days!

I know, guys, it sounds ridiculous, but I've had that "farts smelling like the nasty UG forever" thing TOO, and trust me I can assure you I know how much it sucks! It's as if the tiny amount of bodily fluids swapped somehow contaminates your whole body...

And it's ALWAYS only the overweight (even the clean ones) and / or ugly skanks who cause this phenomenon seemingly to make you feel tainted for the next few days. Maybe nature's way of telling us "you can do better than that next time!"?

BTW, what did you tell your dentist? :crackup:

Anyway, if you're like me, the smell/taste/farts/feeling dirty will be gone in a few days!

 

[SamePendo]

UPDATE:

I saw her on ... Wednesday I think. I was about to wave hi after we locked eyes, but she looked down. Stupid bytch. As if I was interested in letting everyone know I was with her or something. I was trying to be nice. Well, that's better, I don't have to deal with her emotions now.

The smell is gone. It's kind of comforting to know someone else has had the fart thing. I told my dentist exactly what happened.