"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I was with a UG and feel BAD
- Thread starter SamePendo
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Hitman10000
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 29, 2006
- Messages
- 602
- Reaction score
- 9
That is why I am against guys who say "Don't masturbate cause it's against god or it makes you more masculine" - Uh. If Brad Pitt busts a nut every day with Angelina Jolie is it making him less of a man? Because he's busting a nut every day he knows he wants to spend a lot of time with her not because he's busting a nut with a hot babe.
I'm also against guys picking up girls at bars or dance clubs. The girls are drunk and so are you. The place is dark and it's like some revolving door of fog ... you can't see shat and if you can see anything you can't think properly if you were to see the same people out in the sun!
Use the UG/FG as practice to keep your game in balance. Remember always...Go with your gut.
Pendo,
TELL ME IT ISN"T SO!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I've never been with a UG. However, a girl I did like a ton, who waffled between wanting tons of sex, to wanting to be all Mother Theresa, hung out with me 1 night. We got pretty bombed, to where she was doing cheerleading stunts in my kitchen, then proceeded to hookup. No condom used. I'd never have been able to ***, and purportedly she has some weird affliction where she can't get prego unless she's ON the pill. Beautiful enough girl all around (unless she was a tranny, too?) Anyways...
We're in bed with her mega D's, decent body, curvy, voluptuious (sp?), and I find out....
1) She hasn't/doesn't shave.
2) She's hard to make *** b/c of her own insecurity with her body and awkwardness regarding sex.
And when a woman isn't REALLY into it, I'm not. When I finished, we fell asleep. She woke me up at 10am, me with a hangover headache, and I had to drive her back home 1 hour, because we'd started our near her parents home just doing random things, and then happened at a bar near my place. Being only 15 minutes away, we went there, and the night went as I described. When I got done the whole ordeal, I had to tell my brother. And swear myself off that. It would been different if she was totally FINE with herself, and didn't always feel inadequate. I know there are women who don't shave, and women who have curvy figures, big boobs, etc (not fat, just a ghetto booty and big boobs), but it's sad to see women with natural looks who DO NOT keep them up, will inevitably see them totally fall apart as time takes its toll. She was gorgeous at 19, at 21/22 when we did this...she was only average. Her face, beautiful. But her body, was degrading from diet, no exercise.
Sad really. I felt traumatized after it, and since that had happened with her, I knew I'd never be right again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Similar situation, different girl. I'm dating one at 19 years old, prior to attending my school. Meet this girl on approach at a local pharmacy. We date for a month straight, no real plate spinning, b/c if I wasn't with this 1, I wouldn't be with anyone. She has no problem "parking," b/c at 19, there's really nowhere else for us. Nice enough girl, VERY petite, but bubbly and curvy. Bout 5 feet. In the car, while making out she call's her pvssy, "spinach." Were I more mature, I might have been making out with her at this moment, but the images it conjured up totally ruined me at that moment. Days later I called it off. She was sad. I went to school and dated a few girls. 4 years later, we hooked up again, went the WHOLE way and it was a blast. But that's b/c I was more mature, and she was a super cutie.
A-Unit
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I "love" how you guys congratulate me.Paradox said:
I feel much better today. It's all ok, nothing will happen, it's all ok.
Today I farted and it didn't smell like her, so I guess I'm ok now. Although my breath still smells sometimes like her, so I called my dentist and he told me to take this stuff and do gargles with it and in 2 days I'll be like new.
FYI, it was Gunwitching, I told her to go to my place "to have breakfast", and I kino'd her and then escalated to making out to (ahh! I just had a flashback, nasty ****)... I'll cut it short if you don't mind. At least, once more, gunwitching/donRonnying is proved to work, unfortunately, this time with a thing.
As Jonwon said, that bytch had all her birthdays presents of two lifetimes yesterday. This thing won't ever happen, ever. Take it from me, it's not fun or funny. This wasn't a hb 6, wasn't just a obese/overweight woman, I've seen obese women that I'd do, but this was like, . .
Eeew.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Well, there are some guys who will say that you are a better man now because you had sex. It doesn't matter that it was sloppy, grimy, Jabba the Hut, grease stain under the stove, rotten oyster smelling, leaky puss filled boil looking dirty jungle baboon sex. Be sure to add it to your lay count!SamePendo said:
anyhow, don't worry about it... after few more times you'll just get desensitized to it and it's all gonna be good...
spider_007
Master Don Juan
I love when i make them twich.
$60....i probably could have had her for less
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Godless Heretic
New Member
SamePendo, your post is just too funny!!
...But that's because, sadly, I can relate :-(
Especially the bad smell / taste that seems to linger in your system for days!
I know, guys, it sounds ridiculous, but I've had that "farts smelling like the nasty UG forever" thing TOO, and trust me I can assure you I know how much it sucks! It's as if the tiny amount of bodily fluids swapped somehow contaminates your whole body...
And it's ALWAYS only the overweight (even the clean ones) and / or ugly skanks who cause this phenomenon seemingly to make you feel tainted for the next few days. Maybe nature's way of telling us "you can do better than that next time!"?
BTW, what did you tell your dentist? :crackup:
Anyway, if you're like me, the smell/taste/farts/feeling dirty will be gone in a few days!
I saw her on ... Wednesday I think. I was about to wave hi after we locked eyes, but she looked down. Stupid bytch. As if I was interested in letting everyone know I was with her or something. I was trying to be nice. Well, that's better, I don't have to deal with her emotions now.
The smell is gone. It's kind of comforting to know someone else has had the fart thing. I told my dentist exactly what happened.