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I was told that I was intimidating.

superchristx

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You are marketing yourself all the time, if you're having any success it's because some women like what you're offering. So these girls can't handle your style, they are obviously not in your target market.

Like you listen to Opeth. Opeth cannot sell records to people who like Little Bow Wow. They could try, by changing their sound and learning to dance, but they prolly wouldn't even be good at it. Like Opeth or spicy food, you are an edgy product and you appeal very well to people that want that. Opeth can probably sell more records in Baltimore than in Compton, likewise you might have better luck working on a different demographic of women.

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xanderbaz

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Had it happen to me quite a few times... It means they perceive you as hella confident, or feel inferior to you in terms of overall atractiveness. No worries. I also often get a comment along the lines of: "you're too arrogant." Same ****. Has it happened to you as well?
 
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xanderbaz said:
Had it happen to me quite a few times... It means they perceive you as hella confident, or feel inferior to you in terms of overall atractiveness. No worries. I also often get a comment along the lines of: "you're too arrogant." Same ****. Has it happened to you as well?
Has that happened to me?! EVERY F*CKING DAY AND I'M TIRED OF IT!! And I'm frustrated because right now I'm supposed to be having a date with girl #8 but right after we make plans today it starts f*cking storming and we were gonna be outside and so its postponed till monday! g*ddamn it! I was pumped. lol.

And on marketing myself to a different demograpic, explain yourself because this sounds interesting. I'm not marketing myself to goth chicks though. I listen to Opeth and the craziest music ever but just because i'm a metalhead, i don't need to dress in black and sh*t. I wear Banana Republic for christ sakes...anyhow,
 

xanderbaz

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Same here. I listen to so many different kinds of music, and I dress mostly classy-casual (ironed shirts, jeans, nice shoes, lots of accessories etc.).
Being called arrogant is a sign of attraction, believe it or not. As long as only women (and weak men) percieve you so. Don't worry too much about it.
 
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Yeah it usually is only girls who ***** about how much of a smart ass I am. whatever.

I'm still wondering about this demographics thing. I'm seriously considering moving away to another town and starting over if this is what that dude means, then hell yeah.
 

xanderbaz

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Feel free to come to Europe if you feel like it. Plenty of HB here for all of us. :)
 

Socialreject

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Hmmm, I've gotten this in the past as well.

Mostly i just thought the women were insanely flakey or just AW's, but some of them wen't on a date with me eventually and during the date i got reactions like "now that we've talked a bit i feel much more relaxed about you" or "i was kind of too intimidated to accept a date before".

I'm not sure what was going on there, but i haven't had that kind of comment in a while and the only thing that has really changed since then is that my game has become more subtle.

When i was still inexperienced with mac'ing i was just laying it on too thick. I was being too present and too dominant, too confident etc and it spooked some women. You know, i had all this information to process and felt kind of lost in it, not really knowing how to act etc, and it just translated into doing everything MORE than i was already doing, ie too much!

So maybe you are just laying it on to thick, pushing to hard and spooking some of the women away.

Edit: i'd just like to add that this was never a 'bad' thing for me because i got a lot of women really chasing me and every time i figured i'd next them, basically wrote em off, they would say some stuff like "hey, i haven't heard from you in a while? :*(". So it's definitely attractive, but like i said, also a bit counter productive at times ;-).
 
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I feel like maybe I DO lay it on too thick but this sudden stream of interactions with girls hopefully will help my game to where I'm good enough right now to get a little circulation of girls./ehh...I hope that I can have a constant stream of interaction with girls both in and out of the school area because although I've been failing, I've been learning a whole lot about girls and learning to not take a girl's reactions personally.
 

Eb9#5

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Monster said:
Remember, looking intimidating is usually a good thing.
not really.
women are scary beings, but they are extremely good at hiding it. they want an approchable guy, they need it. i've been told many times that i look intimidating, mainly on the phone...i just don't like talking sh*t, i'll go straight to the point, no chit-chat, no time wasting. it has a lot to do with my personality, so i really have to work on being friendlier at first sight (more smiling, more fluff talk, etc).
 

Marlimus

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Dimebag, I've been told the same thing before. I have a strong presence from my years as a cadet and as a student of martial arts, and the fact that I'm
6'4 and 220lbs doesn't help. All you really have to do, is smile. Not a big cheesy one, (when I was younger I thought smiling was unmanly) smile as if you're remembering a private joke.
 

xanderbaz

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Eb9#5 said:
not really.
women are scary beings, but they are extremely good at hiding it. they want an approchable guy, they need it. i've been told many times that i look intimidating, mainly on the phone...i just don't like talking sh*t, i'll go straight to the point, no chit-chat, no time wasting. it has a lot to do with my personality, so i really have to work on being friendlier at first sight (more smiling, more fluff talk, etc).
It's really difficult to fluff-talk, isn't it? :)
 

Socialreject

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Dimebag_Darrell said:
I feel like maybe I DO lay it on too thick but this sudden stream of interactions with girls hopefully will help my game to where I'm good enough right now to get a little circulation of girls./ehh...I hope that I can have a constant stream of interaction with girls both in and out of the school area because although I've been failing, I've been learning a whole lot about girls and learning to not take a girl's reactions personally.
The tricky thing about confidence is that you can't fake it. Well you CAN but it will always poke through on some levels. When you actually have to tell yourself "i'm going to act with confidence by handling it this or that way", you are still trying to prove yourself in a way and this by itself is the exact oposite of confidence.

But ofcourse you can't just one day wake up and be totally confident about yourself, it's a natural process and you have to take the steps to get there. In the meantime you fake it. Fake it untill you make it!

My guess is this will straighten itself out when you get more experience and as you go you actually go back to being just 'you' but with confidence and game.

Failing is a good thing though. It's not really failing, it's learning. Everytime i struk out with a woman i walked away from it with a lesson learned i could go back and look at everything i did and see my own mistakes. And my mistakes were probably the same as most guys, the fact that you had to fake it made it unnatural and not really in tune with your personality. So it comes over as rigid and kind of weird/neurotic.
 
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