"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I was told that I was intimidating.

superchristx

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You are marketing yourself all the time, if you're having any success it's because some women like what you're offering. So these girls can't handle your style, they are obviously not in your target market.

Like you listen to Opeth. Opeth cannot sell records to people who like Little Bow Wow. They could try, by changing their sound and learning to dance, but they prolly wouldn't even be good at it. Like Opeth or spicy food, you are an edgy product and you appeal very well to people that want that. Opeth can probably sell more records in Baltimore than in Compton, likewise you might have better luck working on a different demographic of women.

Read Dark Stylee
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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xanderbaz

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Had it happen to me quite a few times... It means they perceive you as hella confident, or feel inferior to you in terms of overall atractiveness. No worries. I also often get a comment along the lines of: "you're too arrogant." Same ****. Has it happened to you as well?
 
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xanderbaz said:
Had it happen to me quite a few times... It means they perceive you as hella confident, or feel inferior to you in terms of overall atractiveness. No worries. I also often get a comment along the lines of: "you're too arrogant." Same ****. Has it happened to you as well?
Has that happened to me?! EVERY F*CKING DAY AND I'M TIRED OF IT!! And I'm frustrated because right now I'm supposed to be having a date with girl #8 but right after we make plans today it starts f*cking storming and we were gonna be outside and so its postponed till monday! g*ddamn it! I was pumped. lol.

And on marketing myself to a different demograpic, explain yourself because this sounds interesting. I'm not marketing myself to goth chicks though. I listen to Opeth and the craziest music ever but just because i'm a metalhead, i don't need to dress in black and sh*t. I wear Banana Republic for christ sakes...anyhow,
 

xanderbaz

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Same here. I listen to so many different kinds of music, and I dress mostly classy-casual (ironed shirts, jeans, nice shoes, lots of accessories etc.).
Being called arrogant is a sign of attraction, believe it or not. As long as only women (and weak men) percieve you so. Don't worry too much about it.
 
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Yeah it usually is only girls who ***** about how much of a smart ass I am. whatever.

I'm still wondering about this demographics thing. I'm seriously considering moving away to another town and starting over if this is what that dude means, then hell yeah.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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xanderbaz

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Feel free to come to Europe if you feel like it. Plenty of HB here for all of us. :)
 

Socialreject

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Hmmm, I've gotten this in the past as well.

Mostly i just thought the women were insanely flakey or just AW's, but some of them wen't on a date with me eventually and during the date i got reactions like "now that we've talked a bit i feel much more relaxed about you" or "i was kind of too intimidated to accept a date before".

I'm not sure what was going on there, but i haven't had that kind of comment in a while and the only thing that has really changed since then is that my game has become more subtle.

When i was still inexperienced with mac'ing i was just laying it on too thick. I was being too present and too dominant, too confident etc and it spooked some women. You know, i had all this information to process and felt kind of lost in it, not really knowing how to act etc, and it just translated into doing everything MORE than i was already doing, ie too much!

So maybe you are just laying it on to thick, pushing to hard and spooking some of the women away.

Edit: i'd just like to add that this was never a 'bad' thing for me because i got a lot of women really chasing me and every time i figured i'd next them, basically wrote em off, they would say some stuff like "hey, i haven't heard from you in a while? :*(". So it's definitely attractive, but like i said, also a bit counter productive at times ;-).
 
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I feel like maybe I DO lay it on too thick but this sudden stream of interactions with girls hopefully will help my game to where I'm good enough right now to get a little circulation of girls./ehh...I hope that I can have a constant stream of interaction with girls both in and out of the school area because although I've been failing, I've been learning a whole lot about girls and learning to not take a girl's reactions personally.
 

Eb9#5

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Monster said:
Remember, looking intimidating is usually a good thing.
not really.
women are scary beings, but they are extremely good at hiding it. they want an approchable guy, they need it. i've been told many times that i look intimidating, mainly on the phone...i just don't like talking sh*t, i'll go straight to the point, no chit-chat, no time wasting. it has a lot to do with my personality, so i really have to work on being friendlier at first sight (more smiling, more fluff talk, etc).
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Marlimus

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Dimebag, I've been told the same thing before. I have a strong presence from my years as a cadet and as a student of martial arts, and the fact that I'm
6'4 and 220lbs doesn't help. All you really have to do, is smile. Not a big cheesy one, (when I was younger I thought smiling was unmanly) smile as if you're remembering a private joke.
 

xanderbaz

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Eb9#5 said:
not really.
women are scary beings, but they are extremely good at hiding it. they want an approchable guy, they need it. i've been told many times that i look intimidating, mainly on the phone...i just don't like talking sh*t, i'll go straight to the point, no chit-chat, no time wasting. it has a lot to do with my personality, so i really have to work on being friendlier at first sight (more smiling, more fluff talk, etc).
It's really difficult to fluff-talk, isn't it? :)
 

Socialreject

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Dimebag_Darrell said:
I feel like maybe I DO lay it on too thick but this sudden stream of interactions with girls hopefully will help my game to where I'm good enough right now to get a little circulation of girls./ehh...I hope that I can have a constant stream of interaction with girls both in and out of the school area because although I've been failing, I've been learning a whole lot about girls and learning to not take a girl's reactions personally.
The tricky thing about confidence is that you can't fake it. Well you CAN but it will always poke through on some levels. When you actually have to tell yourself "i'm going to act with confidence by handling it this or that way", you are still trying to prove yourself in a way and this by itself is the exact oposite of confidence.

But ofcourse you can't just one day wake up and be totally confident about yourself, it's a natural process and you have to take the steps to get there. In the meantime you fake it. Fake it untill you make it!

My guess is this will straighten itself out when you get more experience and as you go you actually go back to being just 'you' but with confidence and game.

Failing is a good thing though. It's not really failing, it's learning. Everytime i struk out with a woman i walked away from it with a lesson learned i could go back and look at everything i did and see my own mistakes. And my mistakes were probably the same as most guys, the fact that you had to fake it made it unnatural and not really in tune with your personality. So it comes over as rigid and kind of weird/neurotic.
 
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