"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

I was testing my gurl, womanesse what does it mean?

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
Well i wanted to test my gurls intrest level. So i asked this question when i thought the time was right.

I asked "Hey i think u would get sick of me if u saw me everyday, wouldnt u?"
she: "well you would get sick of seeing me too" (in other words yes i would get sick of seeing u"

*i dont plan on seeing her everyday but its the fact that her intrest level is so low that she would tell me the truth instead of hiding it.

If she really liked me or loved spending time with me she would just say "i love it to see u everyday"
INSTEAD she tries to hide it and tries to say it in a inidrect way, WHY cuz she feels guilty but she knows that her ATRRACTIOn is down. is this what all this means?


then after she gave me her response, i said
me: I see, well i wouldnt actually. I wud love it.
(i said this just to see what she wud say)
she: well i dont know, u wud get sick of seeing me
me: no but i know u wud.
she: (says nuttin, but i know she is thinking yes, yes that she wud get sick of seeing me)
me: I know u want to say yes, just be honest, u said it before without realizing it, just be honest baby.
she: No well i change my mind, i wud love to wake up with you inside me everyday.
me: dont lie baby
she: im not, what im not allowed to change mymind
me: no ur not,cuz u just cant change how u feel
she: yes i can
me: w/e that realli upsets me
she: hey i wud love to see u everyday,i wudnt get sick of u


Guys im a man, i want honesty too, and im not attached, if i FEEL that we need space im ready to do it. Its just that she tells me she loves me, but i dont if she is attracted to me. I want the honest answer but females lie. She tells me she loves me ALL the time and that she loves this and that about me. she says so many compliments, i recntly said more than her. bad mistake.
I understand that ppl say things they dont mean, but it just that this hurts and i dont know if she meant it or not, i shouldnt be doughting, but i am cuz im confused about her intrest level for me. Maybe im reading too much into this.

So in this incident what do u think this gurl is trying to tell me. plz be honest thank u.

Also do u thinki should confront her about this, or not, should i say baby we need to talk and tell her how i feel and tell her that if she wants sapce its FINE with me. Or should i just not say anything and just act distant and non emotional. I thinik im gonna stop ALL compliments and sissy stuff, cuz u need at least SOME in a realtionship. So should i ask her cuz it is realli bothering me.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Giovanni Casanova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2002
Messages
5,550
Reaction score
18
Age
47
Location
Hiding in Penkitten's Linen Closet
Okay when I read that conversation I had a really hard time keeping track of who the girl was.
 

TACH

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2001
Messages
105
Reaction score
0
Location
Small town ,Alabam
Well, just by reading what you've posted, I would say that you were likely right that she wanted to say that she'd likely tire of seeing you daily. But when you called her out on it I think it may have helped your case. I don't know really, I'm no relationship expert but this is what it looks like to me. More qualified individuals may tell you otherwise, and you'd be smart to listen to them.

However, at this point if I were in your shoes, I'd take a step back and just see where things go. Get involved with things not including your girl.. show her you have a life outside of her and see what she does. Anyone else have advice for this guy?
 

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
convo went like this.

me:"Hey i think u would get sick of me if u saw me everyday, wouldnt u?"

she: well you would get sick of seeing me too" (in other words yes i would get sick of seeing u

me: I see, well i wouldnt actually. I wud love it.
(i said this just to see what she wud say)

she: well i dont know, u wud get sick of seeing me

me: no but i know u wud.

she: (says nuttin, but i know she is thinking yes, yes that she wud get sick of seeing me)

me: I know u want to say yes, just be honest, u said it before without realizing it, just be honest baby.

she: No well i change my mind, i wud love to wake up with you inside me everyday.

me: dont lie baby

she: im not, what im not allowed to change mymind

me: no ur not,cuz u just cant change how u feel
she: yes i can

me: w/e that realli upsets me

she: hey i wud love to see u everyday,i wudnt get sick of u

thas the convo. What shud i do, shud i confront her about it or not?. yes or no

VERY funny thing before this we where talking about her mother.

me: Why is ur mom so tough it not like we are getting married

she: well not yet

me: What

she: what u couldnt see ur self married to u

me: i cud

so then made some silly plans of what to do in the future together i dont believe it. She probably felt insecure and wanted to know.
 

diablo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
4,678
Reaction score
9
Location
Louisiana, USA
Sure. I'd get tired of anyone if I saw them every day. I don't think that "********" was involved here - it was a pretty straightforward conversation. Here's how it went:

Him: Would you get tired of seeing me if we were around each other every day?
Her: Yes.
Him: Are you sure? I wouldn't get tired of being around you every day!
Her: Believe me. If you were around anyone every day you'd get bored with them after a while.
Him: Nuh uh. I wouldn't get tired of being around you every day! You would though, wouldn't you?! WOULDN'T YOU?! I know you want to say yes (even though you just told me 'yes' not but 3 lines ago...) so say yes again! Say it!
Her: Okay, I change my mind. I would love to be around you every day.

Here's the thing. You forced her to say something she wouldn't have otherwise said. While I can't say for sure, I don't see the fact that she thinks that if two people spend time together every day as being indicative of a loss of interest. The fact that you do, and that you attempted to force her to say something other than what she originally answered with (why else would you prolong the conversation to such an extreme) reeks of insecurity.

One thing you might recall from reading the DJB: Don't make yourself too available! Showing her that your life centers around her (oh baby i wouldn't get tired of being around you no not you baby i'd love to spend every day with you oh oh oh) will only cause her to get bored. Like many others have said in better ways people get bored with what they take for granted. By saying in that setting that you would happily spend every day with her, you're doing nothing but screaming "Hey! Hey! Take me for granted!".

Stop it.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
ic

ic, yeah i felt insecure, bcuz i wasnt at the start of the convo, i got more insecure as time went on in the convo. Ur right i wanted to know what seh thought. I forced the asnwer out of her. But the answer she gave me at first when she yes. SHE SAID YES in the first time. NOW does that yes mean a loss of intrest. that is what im trying to figure out. and what i shud do. YES i know i am gonna make myself rare, and not be a pushover.

in the convo icudnt say fine, u think ull get tired then ill get tired. I wud have even said, sometimes i get bored when i hang out with u. But i was feeling hurt and loss my defenses where down, she caught me good.

i thought she loved me and she would like to spend time with me all the time
 

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
ic

so i figure i say this

her: what are u doing
me: nuttin just thinking about things, about yest and what we where talking about
me: (im going to boston for the weekend), im gonna go to boston and just think about things of about where we are, between me and u. I got some stuff to figure out (puts her on edge).
maybe ill say that i wont be answering my phone cuz ill be far away and i want to spend as much time as i can with family. lol this way i can ignore her for a few days
 

Giovanni Casanova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2002
Messages
5,550
Reaction score
18
Age
47
Location
Hiding in Penkitten's Linen Closet
Originally posted by kk2004
convo went like this.
I wasn't asking you to reprint your conversation. I'm telling you that it's very difficult to tell who the girl is in that conversation.

In other words, what I'm asking you is, after you got done with that conversation, did you say, "Do these jeans make my ass look big?"

And later, when you were sitting on the couch pouting, did you have this conversation?

HER: "What's wrong?"
YOU: *sniffle* "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!"
*stomp out of the room and slam the door*
 

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
ic

u guys are right, its just that i loved her alot, she just wasnt another hoe. I did and that hurt normally i cudnt care less, **** her, but she was diffrent. I guess i gotta be a man and not give a ****. I shouldnt be so insecure.

So i shud i talk to her about it. shud I confront her about it.
 

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
shud i say,

me: i was thining about yest, the convo we had and dont worri im not upset. If u dont like spending time with me, thas fine baby, tell me when u want to hang out, cuz im gonna be in the club or at my friends houses for a while now, they got out of summer school.

shud i say anything at all.?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

thefonz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2004
Messages
1,143
Reaction score
13
Age
44
Location
Pittsburgh
Gio is right, just asking that question in the first place may seem (from your perspective) to be a test, but to her she's wondering why you're asking such a p\/ssy ass insecure question. I woulda rephrased your language to make it more masculine. I'm too lazy to rephrase and edit what you should have said and I don't WANT to tell you what to say....you said "I got more insecure as the conversation went on" because you had no control over your emotions.

Don't persue this cus you're trying to control things you can't. Why do you care to see her everyday, don't you have things to do? Let it be, if she fits into YOUR life great, but don't force it.
 

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
ic

thx bro, thefonz, that realli helps, all u other guys too im realizing my mistakes.

I CUDNT CONTROL MY emotions that was my biggest problem and PROBLEM number two was that I didnt believe that my life was fine without her. this is my first gf, she doenst know that, she has dated many other guys. So i gotta do some more reading i guess. Im gonna leave it alone. MY GUT was telling me to leave it alone.

So shud i be more cold toward her in the comming days. shud i just talk wiht her for a few minutes and say i gotta go, give her the cold shoulder and put her on ice.
 

frivolousz21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2004
Messages
3,151
Reaction score
16
Age
44
Location
belleville, il
you need to RELAX....



and yes to be honst her IL cant be to high.


you might be getting used?

are u having sex?


how physically is she into you?

I can tell you that i had this talk with my girl...and we both agreed we wouldnt want to see each other everyday.


a couple nights ago..she told me if we lived closer she would want to see me everyday if it was possible.


stop being A WOMEN

u can be a man and still talk about ur emotions if ur not insecure!

good luck mate!
 

kk2004

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
378
Reaction score
0
yes we are having sex, and she is into me phyiscally. right after the convo she was trying to touch my crotch area with her leg. i told her to stop. hehe

Ur right, i just need to stop being insecure about my manliness and my need for her. I need to be confident and happy with myself. Ur right i dont need to be insecure cuz i dont have a reason to be so. I feel so good suddenly its crzy, i havent felt this way in two months i feel FREE. And STRong i feel like i could get any gurl anytime. I am gonna chill out. thas it

I guess the diffence in a man and a woman is that the MAn is always confident and not insecure he is confident in himself. NO MATTER WHAT. I think im starting to understand and realize this. thx guys
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

MetalFortress

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
Messages
3,264
Reaction score
22
Location
Keesler AFB, Mississippi
Originally posted by kk2004

me: I see, well i wouldnt actually. I wud love it.
(i said this just to see what she wud say)
Now wait a second here, WAIT A SECOND. You said this without meaning it, yet you are pissed at her for saying the exact same thing without meaning it? Dude, ditch the skirt. Stop acting so insecure. It's bugging her.

You should have been able to get the answer to this by body language anyways. Don't be a drama queen.
 

undesputable

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2004
Messages
1,365
Reaction score
0
Location
who cares
first of all if you were really confident and felt good about yourself you wouldnt be worrying about your girl getting tired of seeing you. That was a straight up AFC conversation, i dont care if you were just testing her....she doesnt know you just needed some reassurance, she probably just thinks youre a pvssy now.
 

BrotherAP

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
722
Reaction score
5
Age
45
Location
Earth
Re: ic

Originally posted by kk2004
so i figure i say this

her: what are u doing
me: nuttin just thinking about things, about yest and what we where talking about
me: (im going to boston for the weekend), im gonna go to boston and just think about things of about where we are, between me and u. I got some stuff to figure out (puts her on edge).
maybe ill say that i wont be answering my phone cuz ill be far away and i want to spend as much time as i can with family. lol this way i can ignore her for a few days
This is a terrible idea - are you trying to break up with her? Stop the fvcking games already!

Work on not being so emotional with her. Don't get pissy, tell her not to grab your c0ck, don't ever talk about that meaningless conversation about seeing each other every day again, and stop worrying if she likes you.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Top