I was a late bloomer. What should I say when a girl asks me about my sexual past?

[Juggaloryda]

Ok, I was a late bloomer. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22. (I know it's pathetic. lol.) That was 2 years ago. I'm 24 now. I used to be too shy and insecure to even talk to girls. I never even went on a real date until I was 21. Not only did I not lose my virginity at age 22, but I had never even kissed a girl until I was 22. Since then, I have gotten better with girls. I've had sex with 3 girls (2 of them I was actually in a relationship with), and I've made out/ fooled around with 3 other girls but never had intercourse with them.

Well, here's my question. If a girl asks me how many girls I've been with or how old I was when I lost my virginity, should I tell her the truth or should I lie? I'm afraid she might lose interest in me if she knows I'm not that experienced. A few months ago, I was talking to this one girl who showed a lot of interest in me. We went on a couple dates. She asked me that inevitable question. I hesitated at first, but I ended up telling her the truth. I think that might've hurt my chances with her, cause she probably thought I was a loser. We continued talking for another week or so, but she met this other guy, and liked him better. I never had sex with her. I just made out with her, but never got past that. I still wonder if me telling her the truth about my past was a big turn off to her, cause before that she acted like she was crazy about me. What do you guys think I should do next time a girl asks me that? Thanks!

 

[MisterMcGee]

That's not bad, relax. Being the status-quo doesn't make you more or less interesting. If you're different and go about life differently than others, then embrace it and accept the fact that you stand out from the crowd.

The whole point of sleeping with a lot of women and losing your virginity early is to feel secure, successful, and so forth. It's all mental. If you DON'T need the confidence boost from orgasm-coma'd women and notches on your bedpost, then you're lucky. Many guys and girls can't say that.
However, if you feel the need to use the status-quo checklist and do everything "normally" and such, then you probably aren't comfortable and confident about the man you are.

You probably think something "wrong" with you, or that being a late-bloomer is a FLAW. It's not. Yeah, you lost your virginity at 21. Big deal, it doesn't impose on your character and doesn't make you seem like a loser. What if Indiana Jones lost his virginity at 25? His character and awesomeness as a guy makes up for that. He's not a part of the status-quo, and people look up to him rather than beside him.

Interesting people don't necessarily follow society's social rules. They may be lone wolfs, may not have as active a sex life as a player, and so forth. However, these aren't shortcomings, they're quirks. Maybe you were a late bloomer just because youve got a lot of things going on in your life, or you dont prioritize women. Going out for a date night with a random broad isnt appealing to someone who has more interesting and constructive things to do. Of course, this would require the dude to not be needy emotionally and sexually. If this is the case, don't feel bad that youre not sexually active. Some people would die to be as secure as you, rather than dating girls solely out of insecurity.


So yes, you can lose your virginity early, sleep with lots of women regularly, and so forth. However, if you do all that stuff only because you need the confidence, then all you'll be is another "guy who has an active sex life." Not particularly interesting or anything, it just means you're successful with bedding women and such. Lots of guys are, lots of guys (more) aren't.
This status always matters to you more than it will ever matter to anybody else. Especially if you're insecure about it.

 

[cola]

If you feel unconfident about it don't answer ..
Guys fail to realize when a girl asks you something that you don't want to answer, than don't.
Besides you should avoid that conversation
"How many guys/girls you been with?"
Doesn't matter I'm witchu for the moment

 

[cola]

If you feel unconfident about it don't answer ..
Guys fail to realize when a girl asks you something that you don't want to answer, than don't.
Besides you should avoid that conversation
"How many guys/girls you been with?"
Doesn't matter I'm witchu for the moment

 

[HardTimes]

Just lie.

 

[Son of anarchy]

As those gentlemen up here said,you are not forced to answer and if u have to,you are free to lie.
And if i can,i would like to suggest you to avoid that topic except if u like to hear how many men have been inside your lady before you(if u are the jelous type).

 

[Warrior74]

I lost my vcard at 19 and I never had girl ask me how many until I was damn near 30...basically how big of a manslvt have you been? lol. Just avoid answering the question. One of the few times I would advocate ****y and funny.

How does this even come up in conversation? For me it was after some mindblowing sex. It was her asking, how did you get so damn good at that?

 

[penkitten]

just say "a select few" and end it at that.

 

[Hughman]

Avoid, regardless of if you're a seasoned bedder or just starting out.

Think ****y, coy, sarcastic and outlandish. 'I only let the very finest women be with me', 'I lost count after I was on 3 a day.'

 

[randalll]

it depends how well you know her and why and how she asks.

if you're going to answer it seriously (no c+f) i'd tell her the truth

"I think that might've hurt my chances with her, cause she probably thought I was a loser."

this is a problem, don't think like this.

if she thinks you're a loser for being a late bloomer do you really want to be with her?

i wouldn't be at all interested in a girl like that.

 

[Smack]

Don't ever tell a woman exact details of your previous sexual conquests.

She asks how much women you've had sex with? "A few... not much really", but play it off like you're lying and trying to downplay that number, shrug off the question. That's if you want to be more honest. You can give a ****y/funny answer if you wish.

I've never heard of a girl asking when, at what age one loses their virginity, though.

 

[Juggaloryda]

Thanks for the advice, guys! This particualr chick was very random and liked to ask a lot of very random questions like that. She was the hottest girl I've ever dated or even tried to get with. I think, I felt like I might've been inferior to her due to my inexperience. Next time a girl asks me (if that even happens), I think I'll just either lie or just give a vague answer. She doesn't really need to know an exact number. After all, when I'm with a girl, I don't wanna hear about all the other guys that have been inside her too.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Thanks for the advice, guys! This particualr chick was very random and liked to ask a lot of very random questions like that. She was the hottest girl I've ever dated or even tried to get with. I think, I felt like I might've been inferior to her due to my inexperience. Next time a girl asks me (if that even happens), I think I'll just either lie or just give a vague answer. She doesn't really need to know an exact number. After all, when I'm with a girl, I don't wanna hear about all the other guys that have been inside her too.

It was probably this mindset that was your downfall rather than any answer you could have given.

In all honesty, there is rarely any right answer to this question. Most of the time you're either going to look like a loser who can't get laid or a player who's been around the block a few times (and the same number can get wildly different reactions from the women who ask for it).

Going ****y/funny is one option here and making a joke about it, or you can just be serious. Tell the girl that in your experience discussing such things is in poor taste or only has negative consequences. Or tell her you pride yourself on discretion.

Regardless of what you say, just make sure you remain cool and calm if the question comes up. You can have the 100% perfect response, but if you are visibly made nervous or disturbed by the question, that will be clear and your words will not save you.

 

[Zunder]

I'd "next" any girl that asked me about my previous sex life - I wouldn't care if she was Bo Derek....oh, I am showing my age there....I wouldn't care if she was Jessica Biel. WTF business is it of hers? What kind of question is that for some beeatch you hardly know to be asking you anyway? Just the nosey type of beeetchs you wanna keep away from.

 

[Cinamon]

Its not just women that ask that. A lot of guys have asked me that question. I always say two guys, and both were in a relationship. Makes you look that little bit more respectable.

My current Beau has only slept with two women, both girlfriends in LTR. He didnt lose his virginity till he was 22 and he is 27 now. I am helping him make up for lost time. I love thism ini project, where I get to introduce him to some far more freaky deaky practices between the sheets. I think he will keep me entertained for some time.

 

[Zunder]

Its not just women that ask that. A lot of guys have asked me that question. I always say two guys, and both were in a relationship. Makes you look that little bit more respectable.

My current Beau has only slept with two women, both girlfriends in LTR. He didnt lose his virginity till he was 22 and he is 27 now. I am helping him make up for lost time. I love thism ini project, where I get to introduce him to some far more freaky deaky practices between the sheets. I think he will keep me entertained for some time.

Well, yeah true - if some bloke asks a woman, then he is a chump of the highest order.

22?! 22?! wtf.

 

[Captain Harlock]

big ****ing deal. If you're confident enough (which you're obviously not) it won't matter at all if you tell her you didn't **** until age 22.

 

[Cinamon]

Well, yeah true - if some bloke asks a woman, then he is a chump of the highest order.

22?! 22?! wtf.

Whats a chump. I have had at least 5 blokes ask me that. Probably says something bout the quality of men i pull :cuss:

 

[Sir Shinra]

If she is asking you questions about your sexual past, then she is sexually interested in you. Take it as a huge IOI and roll with it. Getting defensive is the last thing you wanna do.

Have a verbal exchange with her about sex. Start with the light stuff, (kissing, past boyfriends/girlfriends) and gradually proceed to more sexual questions. The more graphic the discussion, the wetter she will get. Make sure you have the logistics to close her while she's hot, otherwise your efforts might be wasted on another guy, and you won't be able to use your 'questions' card again.

It's very important to frame sex as a totally natural and POSITIVE thing. Don't feel the need to 'qualify' yourself by setting boundarious such as, "I woudln't do a one night stand/three some" or "I'm not comfortable having sex outside a relationship." (I recently learned this by error). Also, be prepared to answer any questions she asks of you. You can try to play it off with ****y/funny but but don't be surprised if she does the same thing back to you. It's better off to just be honest and try to portray your inexperience in a positive light. Either that, or just lie really well. You can also mention stuff you'd like to try sometime. If the girl is more experienced than you, then it's likely she will get the hint and feel the urge to 'teach' you something.