"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I want to keep her
- Thread starter vagrant
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The biggest problem i see in a lot of my friends' relationships is that they are with their girl CONSTANTLY. So of course the girl ends up getting bored even if at first she loves all the attention even if it's for months.
If you set up the attitude of her always wanting just a bit more time with you then she'll always be looking forward to seeing you.
She needs to be wondering what you're doing when you go out without her. She needs to wonder if other girls are coming onto you. Of course, make her feel safe that you have absolutely no intentions of doing anything, but a little doubt in her head and her realizing you can get another girl at any time if she ever gave you reason to is a very good thing.
and never be a pushover. quote from my ex from a couple weeks ago:
"youre always so difficult. i think thats what i like. haha"
challenge! ... but balance it.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Warboss Alex
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
- Messages
- 4,113
- Reaction score
- 29
What, after all this time you guys have been posting about how no girl, not even supermodel-like gorgeous should be put on a pedestal? A woman is a woman, no matter how 'hot' they're perceived to be. Treat them the same, no matter what.
Just continue to be yourself - if she's interested, you won't lose her. If she isn't interested, no matter what you do, you won't keep her. I confess that sometimes I've treated my missus (the woman who I perceive as the most beautiful thing in the world, 11 on a scale of 1-to-10, and who I love more than anything) really really badly, like unspeakably badly. And she's treated me badly too. But we stayed together no matter what happened, because we wanted each other that much.
If she wants you, you won't lose her. And if she doesn't want you, nothing you can do will make her - BUT if she doesn't want you, she's not worth losing sleep over, just move on. Simple as that.
Warboss Alex
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
- Messages
- 4,113
- Reaction score
- 29
You're in a serious relationship with the girl now right? That's great! She likes you, right? So how do you keep it going? By not messing with what works.
Just like a weights routine, if it ain't broke don't fix it..
One way to guarantee screwing stuff up is to start acting different.. just carry on as you are, and if it's gonna last, it'll last.
Glad you're happy bro!
Warboss Alex
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
- Messages
- 4,113
- Reaction score
- 29
there's no right or wrong bro..vagrant said:
reading this site will mess with your head. I firmly believe it is a lot of absolute bollocks which applies to high school/late teen relationships which won't last anyway and when both girls and boys wanna play games, if a girl falls for the 'sosuave' approach and not the 'natural' approach then she's not worth keeping anyway, she'll just go off with the next 'sosuaver' guy.. just like the arseholes on here will next their girlfriends when someone hotter comes along because for the most part, these guys are desperate to get laid and have to resort to seduction in its most scientific and precise form.. lol.
for serious relationships all this goes out the window anyway, you're in a relationship with someone then the 'game' is over, you're together now, games have no place, you have to be yourself 100% otherwise you're building a false foundation, which will eventually lead to the whole edifice crumbling down.. and me talking in metaphors all the time.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Its nice to hear refreshing comments every once and a while. Keep up the good work.
I came to this site a few years as a sophomore in college pretty clueless. I have since really stepped up my ability to get girls, and I am now in a long term relationship. I started dating this girl about 9 months ago. I am now in grad school about an 45 minutes away and she is a senior in college. Vagrant, I know what you mean abou tnot wanting to lose your girl. You hear a lot of stuff on this site about how you shouldnt ever actually care about a girl, but once you find yourself in a healthy relationship with a solid girl that is BS.
I see my gf usualy every weekend. I do my best to walk the line of being a challenge but still be in a healthly relationship. There isnt much info on this site about, LTRs, and i think that most of the information that is available is tainted byt hte hard care DJ types. I sometimes wonder if I am going to be able to keep her, but she has never given me any kind of sign that she wants to break up or that she is loosing interest. Still, i retain some doubt left over form my pre-DJ days. Warboss its good to hear your words of encouragement that unless I change my behavior, she probablyt wont lose interest. Vagrant - how long have you been dating your girl?
we never dated but we hang out a lot. it's been 4 months since our first kiss and in those 4 months a lot of things happened. no sex but i'm down with that cuz i'm serious about her. anyways i've known her since january and i started courting her around may. i'm no don juan. i like to have just one girl who'll stay with me. the only reason i came to this site is to learn more on how i can make a girl be more attracted to me or stay attracted or w/e women like about men that i need to know. i just found out about how confidence is one of the killer. the other night my girl got so horny for whatever reason. i wish i knew if i did something that turned her button so i can do it again. last time i sucked her nipples but she didn't let me see it. but the other night i took her bra off of her and i was eating both. i'm sure no one knows me on this site so for some of you horny dudes that was one great night. hehe seriously. i wouldn't mind doing my girl for the rest of my life cuz she's hot..hehe...that's why i need her to stay? uhh yeah lolssposter said:
skip2mylou781
Banned
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2006
- Messages
- 1,796
- Reaction score
- 11
- Age
- 42
hopefully your back for real advise and you won't be such a troll
you need to kiss her, 4 months with no kissing is plain WRONG
KISS