"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

I want to be in love again...

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
and it seems impossible...

Once you get into all this stuff, once you stop closing your eyes and imagining those scenes with you girls you meet, once you see them for REAL, your feelings DIE.

She's isn't special, she isn't warm, she doesn't really give a crap about me, and there is no feeling at ALL.

There is just empty, emotionless sex...

I hate it. I don't really want those girls, I want there to be more, but there is nothing. They are just DULL...

I MISS my high school days when I had crushes, when I FELT things, when I was rejected and I even cried for a girl. At least I FELT something.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Bussey

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2004
Messages
376
Reaction score
4
Location
Toronto
Well gotta be honest with you.

You take this too seriously.

See, too often people make suggestions here that you should kill your emotions, disassociate yourself from your emotions etc. Well, I never fell into that trap, I've kept my emotional side of things so I still get butterflies in my stomach when I kiss a girl I'm attracted to... still feel a little ticked off when I get rejected.

But the thing is balance. Don't read this stuff and assume they mean 'Don't have emotions. Women don't give a **** about you. She is meaningless.'

Define your own path, your own experiences. I have and wouldn't hvae it any other way.
 

Cod3r

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
862
Reaction score
12
^ ^ Where have you been all my sosuave life ?? Agree 100%

I MISS my high school days when I had crushes, when I FELT things, when I was rejected and I even cried for a girl. At least I FELT something.
It's about growing up... remember when you were a kid and during xmas at 2 00 am when you'd hear noise downstairs you'd get excited thinking it was Santa Clause coming down the chimney ?? Running downstairs you'd see that the cookies and milk you left for him were gone and your heart started racing and you went to tell ur little mommy and daddy...

"They're gone mommy, he ate them.. he really ate them"

Now what happens during xmas, you know its no fat old white guy coming down the chimney, its your parents down there putting your xbox360 under the tree, the goosebumps are gone, the excitement is gone... its because you're now living in reality, fantasy vs reality... that's what you're experiencing

In HS you had crushes because you imagined that cute girl in your class and the most popular girl in school was some fantasy queen, and now that you know the truth that no girl is very differnt than any other one and they all do nasty stuff ect... the shine is gone aka reality... Not saying you won't ever feel those things again, but it won't ever be the same... ur not Peter Pan, ur growing up bro :tear:


-Cod3r
 

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
Cod3r said:
^ ^ Where have you been all my sosuave life ?? Agree 100%



It's about growing up... remember when you were a kid and during xmas at 2 00 am when you'd hear noise downstairs you'd get excited thinking it was Santa Clause coming down the chimney ?? Running downstairs you'd see that the cookies and milk you left for him were gone and your heart started racing and you went to tell ur little mommy and daddy...

"They're gone mommy, he ate them.. he really ate them"

Now what happens during xmas, you know its no fat old white guy coming down the chimney, its your parents down there putting your xbox360 under the tree, the goosebumps are gone, the excitement is gone... its because you're now living in reality, fantasy vs reality... that's what you're experiencing

In HS you had crushes because you imagined that cute girl in your class and the most popular girl in school was some fantasy queen, and now that you know the truth that no girl is very differnt than any other one and they all do nasty stuff ect... the shine is gone aka reality... Not saying you won't ever feel those things again, but it won't ever be the same... ur not Peter Pan, ur growing up bro :tear:


-Cod3r
So, in the end its about someone who you want sexually and can actually tolerate rather than love.

Hell, being in college, learning things, becoming less ignorant takes ALL excitement of life. I guess this is why people do drugs. Nothing is amazing anymore...
 

Cod3r

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
862
Reaction score
12
So, in the end its about someone who you want sexually and can actually tolerate rather than love.
I never said anything of the such...

I'm in love with my current partner, but I never had a 'crush' on her or had those extreme fantasy type feelings about her. Crushes are less rare as adults, you start to see people for what they are, people. Crushes come from feelings of inadequacy and seeing someone or something for more than what it is...

If you've never had a Mercedes Benz you may have deep emotions about getting one and how it might feel and blah, but after you have one and driven it around for sometime, the feeling fades because in the end, its just a car. It's no longer this big thing in your mind, it gets you from A to B just like a Volvo.

You are confusing pure infatuation and impulsive desires for love and affection.


-Cod3r
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Bussey

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2004
Messages
376
Reaction score
4
Location
Toronto
I have a crush on this girl in my 3rd year college course hahaha... She's got a boyfriend as I found out... but that doesn't stop me from sitting in class and daydreaming of the inappropriate things I'd do to her :rock: :crackup:
 

Thugo

Banned
Joined
Jan 9, 2006
Messages
280
Reaction score
0
I think this is why most marriages fail. People go into marriage thinking it's going to fill the void in their heart and soul, but after they get married, they feel worse then they did before getting married.

I don't know if I can ever get married. I have been in LTR's before, but after 1 year with the same girl I can't stand her anymore. Even if in the beginning I "loved" her or whatever.
 

Ripper

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
345
Reaction score
3
Bussey said:
Well gotta be honest with you.

You take this too seriously.

See, too often people make suggestions here that you should kill your emotions, disassociate yourself from your emotions etc. Well, I never fell into that trap, I've kept my emotional side of things so I still get butterflies in my stomach when I kiss a girl I'm attracted to... still feel a little ticked off when I get rejected.

But the thing is balance. Don't read this stuff and assume they mean 'Don't have emotions. Women don't give a **** about you. She is meaningless.'

Define your own path, your own experiences. I have and wouldn't hvae it any other way.

This is an excellent post.
 
Top