Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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I want to be in love again...

Babnik

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and it seems impossible...

Once you get into all this stuff, once you stop closing your eyes and imagining those scenes with you girls you meet, once you see them for REAL, your feelings DIE.

She's isn't special, she isn't warm, she doesn't really give a crap about me, and there is no feeling at ALL.

There is just empty, emotionless sex...

I hate it. I don't really want those girls, I want there to be more, but there is nothing. They are just DULL...

I MISS my high school days when I had crushes, when I FELT things, when I was rejected and I even cried for a girl. At least I FELT something.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bussey

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Well gotta be honest with you.

You take this too seriously.

See, too often people make suggestions here that you should kill your emotions, disassociate yourself from your emotions etc. Well, I never fell into that trap, I've kept my emotional side of things so I still get butterflies in my stomach when I kiss a girl I'm attracted to... still feel a little ticked off when I get rejected.

But the thing is balance. Don't read this stuff and assume they mean 'Don't have emotions. Women don't give a **** about you. She is meaningless.'

Define your own path, your own experiences. I have and wouldn't hvae it any other way.
 

Cod3r

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^ ^ Where have you been all my sosuave life ?? Agree 100%

I MISS my high school days when I had crushes, when I FELT things, when I was rejected and I even cried for a girl. At least I FELT something.
It's about growing up... remember when you were a kid and during xmas at 2 00 am when you'd hear noise downstairs you'd get excited thinking it was Santa Clause coming down the chimney ?? Running downstairs you'd see that the cookies and milk you left for him were gone and your heart started racing and you went to tell ur little mommy and daddy...

"They're gone mommy, he ate them.. he really ate them"

Now what happens during xmas, you know its no fat old white guy coming down the chimney, its your parents down there putting your xbox360 under the tree, the goosebumps are gone, the excitement is gone... its because you're now living in reality, fantasy vs reality... that's what you're experiencing

In HS you had crushes because you imagined that cute girl in your class and the most popular girl in school was some fantasy queen, and now that you know the truth that no girl is very differnt than any other one and they all do nasty stuff ect... the shine is gone aka reality... Not saying you won't ever feel those things again, but it won't ever be the same... ur not Peter Pan, ur growing up bro :tear:


-Cod3r
 

Babnik

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Cod3r said:
^ ^ Where have you been all my sosuave life ?? Agree 100%



It's about growing up... remember when you were a kid and during xmas at 2 00 am when you'd hear noise downstairs you'd get excited thinking it was Santa Clause coming down the chimney ?? Running downstairs you'd see that the cookies and milk you left for him were gone and your heart started racing and you went to tell ur little mommy and daddy...

"They're gone mommy, he ate them.. he really ate them"

Now what happens during xmas, you know its no fat old white guy coming down the chimney, its your parents down there putting your xbox360 under the tree, the goosebumps are gone, the excitement is gone... its because you're now living in reality, fantasy vs reality... that's what you're experiencing

In HS you had crushes because you imagined that cute girl in your class and the most popular girl in school was some fantasy queen, and now that you know the truth that no girl is very differnt than any other one and they all do nasty stuff ect... the shine is gone aka reality... Not saying you won't ever feel those things again, but it won't ever be the same... ur not Peter Pan, ur growing up bro :tear:


-Cod3r
So, in the end its about someone who you want sexually and can actually tolerate rather than love.

Hell, being in college, learning things, becoming less ignorant takes ALL excitement of life. I guess this is why people do drugs. Nothing is amazing anymore...
 

Cod3r

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So, in the end its about someone who you want sexually and can actually tolerate rather than love.
I never said anything of the such...

I'm in love with my current partner, but I never had a 'crush' on her or had those extreme fantasy type feelings about her. Crushes are less rare as adults, you start to see people for what they are, people. Crushes come from feelings of inadequacy and seeing someone or something for more than what it is...

If you've never had a Mercedes Benz you may have deep emotions about getting one and how it might feel and blah, but after you have one and driven it around for sometime, the feeling fades because in the end, its just a car. It's no longer this big thing in your mind, it gets you from A to B just like a Volvo.

You are confusing pure infatuation and impulsive desires for love and affection.


-Cod3r
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bussey

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I have a crush on this girl in my 3rd year college course hahaha... She's got a boyfriend as I found out... but that doesn't stop me from sitting in class and daydreaming of the inappropriate things I'd do to her :rock: :crackup:
 

Thugo

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I think this is why most marriages fail. People go into marriage thinking it's going to fill the void in their heart and soul, but after they get married, they feel worse then they did before getting married.

I don't know if I can ever get married. I have been in LTR's before, but after 1 year with the same girl I can't stand her anymore. Even if in the beginning I "loved" her or whatever.
 

Ripper

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Bussey said:
Well gotta be honest with you.

You take this too seriously.

See, too often people make suggestions here that you should kill your emotions, disassociate yourself from your emotions etc. Well, I never fell into that trap, I've kept my emotional side of things so I still get butterflies in my stomach when I kiss a girl I'm attracted to... still feel a little ticked off when I get rejected.

But the thing is balance. Don't read this stuff and assume they mean 'Don't have emotions. Women don't give a **** about you. She is meaningless.'

Define your own path, your own experiences. I have and wouldn't hvae it any other way.

This is an excellent post.
 
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